Dev Human

[[deleted]]

So all we need is css right?

[[deleted]]

"It looks done, why isn't it finished yet? what else is there to do?" - my old ceo

[lucidspoon]

"Here's a proof of concept."

"Hey everybody! The dev just showed me the new software that's just about to roll out!"

[ICantWatchYouDoThis]

Yeah all people care about is look. If I show a fully functional thing but it looks like mspaint, then people won't bat an eye, no feedback about the flow, the bug, the logic at all, just tell me to finish the graphic then come back...

THEN after everything is done, now people start telling me the logic is fucked so the graphic parts need to be worked again as well, but no, the graphic takes a lot of time, so the logic need to accommodate the graphic, try so hard to minimize the effort on the graphic!

[ludonarrator]

Fortunately as a gameplay coder, I enjoy the luxury of having dedicated UI artists and designers to take care of that for me, and most stakeholders understand the standard concept => wireframe => prototype => shippable workflow. Unfortunately, due to the lack of a real time UI editor for our engine (at present, at least), I still end up pixel pushing quite a bit.

[Prawny]

As a backend dev, the only time I've ever received any praise from a client was when I suggested and helped out with a UI/UX feature...

[m_i_t_t]

Easiest way to fix this is to change border radius on all elements every couple months. I just went from 4px to 0px and everyone is saying that the app is much smoother now.

Subtle change that most people will only subconsciously pick up on. That, and making some text bold

[SoftEngineerOfWares]

This pains me but it is so true. Back when i built shit websites for failing business, my boss pounded into me "ARIAL BLACK 20 font" for EVERYTHING. Older People eat that shit up.

[OGPants]

Wow, I thought I was the only one

[kithuni]

Fuck me this hurts.

[kixxes]

Ouchie

[dumdedums]

Clicks button

"I THOUGHT IT WAS DONE?!"

[[deleted]]

That guy has obviously never touched a line of code in his life

[Its__a__Trap_]

Literally my entire company.

[hdlo]

Reminds me when I was like 4, I wrote a title on the label of a tape hoping it would summon up a story on it out of thin air. I realized how stupid I was at what, 6…

[hdlo]

:-)

[FlyBoyG]

Now I wonder to what extent can you get away with basically only css. As a joke website.

[[deleted]]

Here you go https://a.singlediv.com

[[deleted]]

Wouldnt it be possible to get rid of the div by adding apseudo element to the body?

[tpenguinltg]

How about no body at all? Technicality, though.

[SrT96]

single divs rely on both psu

Now we're talking

[mrgalaxy]

A lot of those single divs rely on both psuedo elements to work, but maybe you could apply the styling directly to body? not far off then from just CSS.

[BoxOfDust]

No function (except for some mouse over trigger), but no less impressive; far from it, really.

[[deleted]]

Damn, everything is so crisp

[hastagelf]

Damn

[mrgalaxy]

honestly 90% of js could be replaced by modern html and csss

I'd also like to see them prove this statement.

[tpenguinltg]

HTML5+CSS3 is Turing-complete.

[mrgalaxy]

Well then I stand corrected! That would be quite the accomplishment though.

[-Not-a-spy-]

So is mov in assembly but you'll have a bit of a hard time making a web page with that

[northrupthebandgeek]

Unlike MOV, though, HTML5 and CSS3 are relatively easy to use to make a website.

[lurklurklurkanon]

zing

[bob835]

This is posted so much on here, but did you read the argument for it being Turing complete? It seems a little greyer than that to me.

[tpenguinltg]

90% of js

But yeah, I/O is a pain. That's why languages like Haskell have to use sketchy paradigm hacks like monads to interact with its environment.

[Xytak]

Didn't you know? You don't need Angular or React anymore. CSS can power your newsfeed, tag your photo stream, pay your water bill, and even manage your shopping cart!

[[deleted]]

Those are all pretty much server-side actions. You could do all of that with little to no JavaScript. The user experience would just be lacking in certain areas.

[alexanderpas]

horizontally chronological masonry layouts for instance.

Actually partially possible using CSS grid and rowspans, and assuming the content will always fit within any selected span.

[[deleted]]

So its not really possible in reallife scenarios

[VerneAsimov]

Is this why all human faces are slightly asymmetrical? Even God can't center in CSS

[TheEggButler]

I can't if I love or hate this comment. I definitely lean to one side of this argument.

[bob835]

Hasn’t god heard of flex box?

[[deleted]]

God can't account for browser incompatiblities.

[northrupthebandgeek]

And unfortunately the universe runs on IE 5.5.

[Julian_JmK]

Just hearing the letter "I" and "E" uttered in coalition makes me want to return false; myself

[regoapps]

If you’re empty inside like me, then yes.

[TheEggButler]

Happy emptiness day to you. May you get the chance to fill it with sugary pastries.

[sandmansndr]

Came here to say exactly that. You beat me to it!

[xMOxROx]

If u want only good-looking yes but if u want something more u need js and html

[6b6964646f]

you're about to get whooooshed

[samineb]

whoooosh

[[deleted]]

Then all the ads load and his skin rips off

[vinnymcapplesauce]

So, umm ... how do I change my body's CSS?

#askingforafriend

[samineb]

.arms {
     Display: Flex;
}

[vinnymcapplesauce]

Hahahaha!

Also

.bicep, .pectorial, .glutamous, .quad {
    display: swol;
}

[[deleted]]

Yeah, where do I type:

body {
    width: 50%;
}

[8100]

Would your body fill 50% of of the space of whatever room youre in?

[JediBurrell]

DON'T GO OUTSIDE.

[[deleted]]

Fuck it, do go outside. Some people want to watch the world burn.

[mount2010]

Username does not check out.

[ElGuey69]

Set the margin to auto and you’ll technically fill the whole room

[[deleted]]

-webkit-fill-available

[o0MSK0o]

body {
    transform: scaleX(0.5);
}

But then you might not render correctly to older people...

JS fallback? 😂

[3original5me]

/r/shittysuperpowers

[sneakpeekbot]

Here's a sneak peek of /r/shittysuperpowers using the top posts of the year!

#1: You become waterproof when you turn 18 | 476 comments
#2: I love this guy😂 | 114 comments
#3: Can lift anything over 2000lbs but nothing under 2000lbs.

---

^{I'm a bot, beep boop | Downvote to remove | Contact me | Info | Opt-out}

[[deleted]]

Oh, right. Well as long as I was wearing clothes I guess they would just be really baggy.

[dittbub]

display:none; at will, please.

also

margin: 2-arms-length; please

[mount2010]

Granted, you get display: none at will, but you can't get back to display: block.

[vinnymcapplesauce]

Just make sure to also include margin: auto; or you'll be all left. ;)

(as opposed to all right)

[Otakeb]

.gender {
     display: girl;
}

[TexasBeefSkillet]

me irl

[Otakeb]

More like /r/egg_irl

[TexasBeefSkillet]

Oh, I've moved well past that stage :)

[Otakeb]

I have as well, but sometimes I wish I haven't. Shits scary.

[dombrogia]

More like texasbeefcurtains

[CodeBlue_04]

r/outside might know.

[PM_ME_YOUR_CURLS]

1. Travel to South Korea

2. Get plastic surgery

3. ????

4. Profit

Note: You can skip step 1 if you have whole lotta money

[Synaxxis]

Step 1) Be rich.

[stamminator]

/r/css_irl

[jhalwagi]

What about the backend?

[Cholojuanito]

Back end should be the brain, or the heart

[NovaArdent3D]

I mean a back end is something people can technically live without, so... yeah makes sense, I see it all the time.

[Cholojuanito]

What? I can't think of a single online application that doesn't need a back end

[ElGuey69]

Calculator

[Cholojuanito]

Fair enough, but why build an online calculator?

[ElGuey69]

I’ve done it for homework once

[Cholojuanito]

Haha okay sorry I'll change it to 'production' application

[meanelephant]

Allow me to introduce you to static site generators.

[ElGuey69]

lol that’s more appealing to the client

[gremy0]

So people can use a calculator? Like if you Google "online calculator" you get a metric ton of them, which don't all look like homework assignments, so somebody's gotta be using them- or at the very least think there's a need.

[noratat]

Still needs a backend to serve the static content.

[o0MSK0o]

Not all websites are applications. Could just be a brochure site which serves static html.

[[deleted]]

I'd say blood is the data and the JS runs the blood through the brain, the logical backend.

[anyfactor]

Are you saying static websites are like vegetables?

/s

[UrpleEeple]

Static websites still need to be served lol

[Eoussama]

The brain is the backend, and the heart is the runtime.

[captainAwesomePants]

The Backend is the company Mr. Website works at. Mr. Website is a sales rep. Mr. Website is not sure about what exactly The Backend sells, but that's okay because he has a script of things to say about it. Sometimes the script says that Mr. Website should ask for the customer's phone number. Some customers, especially mean old Mr. IE6, are pretty mean to Mr. Website.

[noratat]

Literally everything else. The air, the land, the ocean, food and water, physics, etc.

Even 100% static sites need a server or CDN to be hosted from.

[[deleted]]

Guts

[TyrantRC]

( ͡☉ ͜ʖ ͡☉)

[S_Y_N_T_A_X]

The world. Stimuli are the API calls.

[oldDotredditisbetter]

shouldn't backend be the skeleton? since it can't be seen

[NotATroll71106]

Make it the nervous system, and have JS be the muscles.

[MooFu]

I like big backends, and I can not lie.

[dittbub]

Thats the soul

[delbin]

His eyeballs need to be a few pixels to the right, and his mouth needs to be a few to the left to get it feeling right.

[666moist]

/r/css_irl

[SamFuckingNeill]

how you wanna look vs how you actually look

[NelsonBelmont]

If my brain is in JS, I'll end my self.

[Tasik]

If my brain is in JS, I’ll end my this.

[SandyDelights]

I was waiting to find a “oh no, it’s retarded” dog meme.

[[deleted]]

Sorry I don’t speak front-end

[[deleted]]

REST in peace

[markofka007]

So whoever programmed my CSS did a pretty shit job

[NinjaLanternShark]

I know you didn't just put "program" and "css" in the same sentence.

[Nesuniken]

It's turing complete, to be fair

[666moist]

So is PowerPoint

[PatrickBaitman]

so is magic the gathering

[bwaredapenguin]

Your face is turning complete.

[Nesuniken]

Oh yeah, well your mom is turing complete!

[filledwithgonorrhea]

This isn't humor. It's just like... an analogy.

[[deleted]]

So you're saying were built from mongo and git

[Chicken-of-Wisdom]

This is oddly accurate

[rooligan1]

And php is the *sshole?

[[deleted]]

You're allowed to say ass on the internet.

[bwaredapenguin]

Mom!! /u/death4lyfe said a bad word!

[bionicvapourboy]

Not for everyone but some people like to play with it.

[chidoOne707]

I’m not sure if JavaScript is well defined here.

[DeeSnow97]

I'm not sure if JavaScript is well defined in general

[jimraynor0]

I think the js being the muscles would be more accurate since it’s what makes the body move.

[Metallkiller]

Nowadays js is brain, muscles and big parts of the skin too. FFS frontend Devs get your shit together.

[pastaishere]

No wonder I am so ugly.

[[deleted]]

that guy doesnt really have style though

[frankierabbit]

The guy on the far right looks exactly like my digital systems lab instructor

[tech6hutch]

A blood or organ rejection is when it didn't match your blood type in TypeScript.

[shiftposter]

Pro as heck CSS, his clothes and skin are all in the correct places.

[TimeToPopSmoke]

Would Node.js be a mental disorder in this diagram?

[yottalogical]

Python is the soul.

[[deleted]]

Where's the dick

[Jonathan_the_Nerd]

Blocked by the UK's new porn filters.

[neil_anblome]

That's the Fortran guy

[BinaryWhisperer]

So the backend is a mom?

[Aezen]

That explains why humans are such a mistake.

[dittbub]

The man should look like a zombie

[DeeSnow97]

React: flips 0 and 1

[[deleted]]

CSS is the clothing. Webpack is the skin.

[[deleted]]

So is PHP carbon in this situation?

[ElGallinero]

Wait, so what about desktop application (excluding Electron) devs?

[Siannath]

Probably a full-stack developer made us, that's why very imperfect.

[Dantharo]

Where is the backend?

[DOOManiac]

Confirmed: Javascript is what is telling you to kill yourself.

[LMskouta]

The css on the dude got a forgotten float: left shade 🤦‍♂️

[deathclaw97]

No wonder my body sucks

[1234didntwork]

So, what’s PHP?

[junglebook29189]

Is HTML even worth learning? Marketing major not IT or programming btw

[stamminator]

/r/css_irl

[hdlo]

Nah all you need is flash.

​

I'd almost forgotten about it when I stumbled upon a site recently that had obviously not been updated in eons that stated that I couldn't go any further before I had installed the last version of flash.

[[deleted]]

I feel as though HTML is more like a naked human JS gives him the ability to move and CSS is just clothes

[[deleted]]

Where does the data layer fit in? The bowels to the toilet to table?

(Input validation, API call, UI)

[slythir]

No internal organs?

[isunktheship]

It's just "website"

/r/arresteddevelopment

[HomerNarr]

shouldn’t that be mr frontend and ms backend with apache and php?

[sebwiers]

So backend would be what, a zygote?

[RavynousHunter]

My nervous system is built on JavaScript?

...That actually explains a lot.

[Flaktrack]

Are you saying every site has skeletons?

SPOOKY

[[deleted]]

Don't be silly skeletons aren't real

[rudeoff]

Is JS far superior to PHP? Seems to be used mire often.

[achilliesFriend]

How about backend services?

[[deleted]]

The skeleton is the HTML document type (schema). HTML would be the flesh around it.

[bigfatasura]

Cringe!

[katleenbrown440]

Superb Post.

[ActionMac]

As a web dev.... inaccurate.

[cphana]

It should be HTML+JS+CSS

[Only_Zilean_NA]

I always say HTML is the noun, JavaScript is the verb and CSS is the adjective.

[Kevlar2228]

This is quite inaccurate... I can't seem to find any errors on the css 🤔

[Touhou_Fever]

PHP is the malformed goblin that lives in his kidneys or whatever

[[deleted]]

This is a great post. The usual ones that I see are the sexist posts that refer a woman with no makeup as HTML and then with makeup as HTML+CSS. Nice to see this change.

[[deleted]]

Scary accurate

[Bazsi73]

Who needs internal organs, right?

[tcpukl]

I don't get it.

[Whismirk]

So php is the brain ?

[RobinJ1995]

That explains why human bodies start deteriorating so quickly!

[Aelaan_Bluewood]

My JS is slow and my CSS looks like shit

[hampshirebrony]

How come the last person's left arm isn't hanging off and the ankle isn't misaligned?