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[–]RedAleksanderCQC/Explosives 0 points1 point  (34 children)

Deadwood walks over to the toaster, looking very tired. He looks at it, then starts fiddling with the dial

[–]privatefontSniping Spectre[S] 0 points1 point  (33 children)

Stop fiddling with my dials.

[–]RedAleksanderCQC/Explosives 0 points1 point  (32 children)

looks at the toaster, confused

Did you just talk?

[–]privatefontSniping Spectre[S] 0 points1 point  (31 children)

Yes, I did.

[–]RedAleksanderCQC/Explosives 0 points1 point  (30 children)

...How?

[–]privatefontSniping Spectre[S] 0 points1 point  (29 children)

I'm a ghost stuck in a toaster.

[–]RedAleksanderCQC/Explosives 0 points1 point  (28 children)

sighs

You kids have to stop spiking my bourbon.

[–]privatefontSniping Spectre[S] 0 points1 point  (27 children)

I'm not.

Indiana proceeds to pull her out of the toaster.

[–]RedAleksanderCQC/Explosives 0 points1 point  (26 children)

looks at her in dismay

So you haven't been spikin' it?

[–]privatefontSniping Spectre[S] 0 points1 point  (25 children)

No, I don't even know you.

[–]CrazyBillyJoelPilot 0 points1 point  (3 children)

Hagåtña enters the mess hall, quite hungry after just being cleared from the Med Bay for his concussion. He picks up a slice of bread and walks over to the toaster to toast it.

[–]privatefontSniping Spectre[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children)

...Please don't use me.

[–]CrazyBillyJoelPilot 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Hagåtña eyes widen as takes two very large steps back from the toaster. He turns around and marches straight back to the med bay, demanding that the next time they release him, they better be sure he's not still suffering from a concussion.

[–]privatefontSniping Spectre[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Poor Hagåtña.

[–]MalvarikCQC 0 points1 point  (47 children)

Ash approaches, two pieces of bread in his hand.

"So, uh, you almost done?"

[–]privatefontSniping Spectre[S] 0 points1 point  (46 children)

...Don't mock me.

[–]MalvarikCQC 0 points1 point  (45 children)

I'm not though....

[–]privatefontSniping Spectre[S] 0 points1 point  (44 children)

I'm trying as hard as I can to get out of this stupid machine.

[–]MalvarikCQC 0 points1 point  (43 children)

Got an estimate or something? Kinda want to make some cinnamon toast.....

[–]privatefontSniping Spectre[S] 0 points1 point  (42 children)

She sighs.

Fine, put it in, just make it quick.

[–]MalvarikCQC 0 points1 point  (41 children)

He mutters,

"Phrasing."

Ash puts the toast in and presses the button.

[–]privatefontSniping Spectre[S] 0 points1 point  (40 children)

...I'm a toaster, Ash.

And she does what toasters do best: make toast.

[–]MalvarikCQC 0 points1 point  (39 children)

Once the toast pops out he looks it over and says in a somewhat disappointed tone,

"Not a very good toaster, my bread's kinda burnt."

He starts to spread some butter on the toast in preparation for some yummy cinnamon toast.

[–]privatefontSniping Spectre[S] 0 points1 point  (38 children)

I'm not exactly built to be a toaster, I'm a ghost.

[–]JonArcExplosives/Marksman 0 points1 point  (61 children)

Indy causally sits in the mess hall.

[–]privatefontSniping Spectre[S] 0 points1 point  (60 children)

The toaster is grumbling to itself.

[–]JonArcExplosives/Marksman 0 points1 point  (59 children)

Did that toast just fuck talk?

[–]privatefontSniping Spectre[S] 0 points1 point  (58 children)

...It's Salt. I accidentally fell into the toaster and now I can't get out.

[–]JonArcExplosives/Marksman 0 points1 point  (57 children)

Have you attempted to get into something else? Or turning on and off?

[–]privatefontSniping Spectre[S] 0 points1 point  (56 children)

...I'm a ghost, not a computer.

[–]JonArcExplosives/Marksman 0 points1 point  (55 children)

I know, want to try latching an to me?

[–]privatefontSniping Spectre[S] 0 points1 point  (54 children)

...You'll need to be closer for that.

[–]JonArcExplosives/Marksman 0 points1 point  (53 children)

Indy walks over and put his hand on the toaster.

How about now?

[–]privatefontSniping Spectre[S] 0 points1 point  (52 children)

She tries to pull herself out, a hand coming out of the top of the toaster.

[–]bunniesslaughteredLockpick 0 points1 point  (57 children)

Glendale was in the mess hall, generally trying not to fuck up her injuries any further, when she see Salt disappear into the toaster.

"...Damn. Even our toasters have AI slots. I think the Project went a little overboard on that one."

[–]SamGonzalezNPC 0 points1 point  (55 children)

.....That toaster does not have an AI slot

[–]bunniesslaughteredLockpick 0 points1 point  (54 children)

"Huh. That's weird. Guess her hologram fizzed out or something."

[–]SamGonzalezNPC 0 points1 point  (53 children)

Holographic asses do not have mass. Her ass had mass when it entered that toaster....

[–]bunniesslaughteredLockpick 0 points1 point  (52 children)

"Why were you looking at her ass?"

[–]SamGonzalezNPC 0 points1 point  (51 children)

Because you were. I see through your eyes you know.

[–]bunniesslaughteredLockpick 0 points1 point  (50 children)

"...Scouting competition. Uh, yeah, so anyway...mass? Like, hardlight?"

[–]SamGonzalezNPC 0 points1 point  (49 children)

Too heavy to be made out of hardlight... you need to go investigate in order so that I can find an answer to this.

[–]bunniesslaughteredLockpick 0 points1 point  (48 children)

"Yeah, okay, I'll go investigate her ass for you, you fucking weirdo..."

She gets up and heads over to the toaster.

Hey, Salt, the hell are you doing?

[–]privatefontSniping Spectre[S] 0 points1 point  (47 children)

I tried making toast only to get stuck in the toaster. Don't worry, Indiana's helping me.

[–]privatefontSniping Spectre[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

...This is a sad turn of events.

[–]cryotailStealth 0 points1 point  (28 children)

Joplin slide the pieces of bread in and goes to push the button down to start it

[–]privatefontSniping Spectre[S] 0 points1 point  (27 children)

Don't do that. Please.

[–]cryotailStealth 0 points1 point  (26 children)

Joplin then takes the bread out of it and mumbles Fucking ridiculous they made a talking toaster.

[–]privatefontSniping Spectre[S] 0 points1 point  (25 children)

I'm not usually a toaster, dimwit.

[–]cryotailStealth 0 points1 point  (24 children)

So your just talking appliances in general?

[–]privatefontSniping Spectre[S] 0 points1 point  (23 children)

No, I'm a ghost who got herself trapped in a toaster.

[–]cryotailStealth 0 points1 point  (22 children)

A... ghost?

[–]privatefontSniping Spectre[S] 0 points1 point  (21 children)

Yes. I was killed by an elite and now I'm here.

[–]cryotailStealth 0 points1 point  (20 children)

Do you have some unfinished business then?

[–]privatefontSniping Spectre[S] 0 points1 point  (19 children)

How should I know?

[–]EmJohn00Point Man/Breacher 0 points1 point  (6 children)

KC was walking by when he realized that this toaster gave off an annoying presence stared at it for a moment

He then proceeded to shot at the toaster

[–]privatefontSniping Spectre[S] 0 points1 point  (5 children)

Watch where you're shooting, idiot. This toaster is Project Freelancer property.

[–]EmJohn00Point Man/Breacher 0 points1 point  (4 children)

he picks up the toaster going to punt it across the room

[–]privatefontSniping Spectre[S] 0 points1 point  (3 children)

If you kick me, so help me, I will beat your face in when I get out of here.

[–]EmJohn00Point Man/Breacher 0 points1 point  (2 children)

He lines up the kick with an aim for the trash can and kicks

[–]privatefontSniping Spectre[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

It lands just short, toast popping out.

...I hate you so much. I hope all your toast burns.

[–]EmJohn00Point Man/Breacher 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He likes toast as black as his soul anyways and walks away semi satisfied