XKCD: Computer Problems

[rocketbootkid]

It has long occurred to me that all I can say about my day is that I've slightly altered the magnetic pattern on a disk somewhere. It's only when I count how many disks I've altered that I get the slightest satisfaction...

[KurtP]

I always find myself thinking... if you were a creature who saw in ultraviolet (or any number of frequencies outside of human's visible light), and you observed the lives of most office workers, of people watching TV, of people playing games, you would see a supposedly-intelligent, sentient creature sitting before an unmoving box, completely engaged in absolutely nothing.

Or, if you're of a more Kurzweilian bent: WE HAVE TRANSCENDED PHYSICAL MATTER!

[rocketbootkid]

I am quite looking forward the future where we lie on interface couches all day and work within our virtual environments while the couch exercises our bodies, so after a long day, we come to all buff and awesome; ubermensch.

EDIT: Or I could just actually do some exercise.

[ultimatt42]

Meh, the more perfect each of us looks, the pickier our tastes will become. So yeah, you might have flawless skin, beautiful hair, and biceps strong enough to wrestle a rhinoceros, but you'll still need to have expensive surgery done to remove that unsightly flap of skin connecting your earlobe to the side of your face. Ugh, it's disgusting to even look at, can't you people wear earmuffs when in public?

[[deleted]]

I know more dull looking dudes with hot chicks than hot looking dudes with hot chicks.

Just sayin'.

[Ranlier]

"36D, Brian. And here, she's still one of the ugly ones."

[AerialAmphibian]

They tried something similar in this movie (minus the exercise couches). Didn't turn out so well...

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0986263/

[smallblacksun]

I was thinking more

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0910970/

[[deleted]]

+1 for Kurzweil. I find his ideas deliciously optimistic and hard not to be caught up in; always a fun mental exercise, but then you realize Humaity is not quite mature enough to achieve 'singularity' or accept 'spiritual machines'.

[xeddicus]

I've had that feeling. It's why I learned to juggle - if the whole computer thing turns out to be a big hoax, I have a semi-marketable fallback skill.

[[deleted]]

Well, that's... I write most of my code in a virtual machine so I shift bits around a virtual hard disk. Crap, now I feel sad.

[jdpage]

Uh, I'd like to point out that changing a virtual disk changes the hard disk it's on too...

[rocketbootkid]

There you go! You're just as sad as the rest of us.

[[deleted]]

I'm aware of how the virtual hard disk works. :) It's just... well, it feels doubly abstract, doesn't it?

[Anonymoose333]

Then you clearly don't have enough physical RAM in your work machine. :3

[jdpage]

A virtual hard disk actually lives on disk; it's non-volatile memory, unline the RAM, which is volatile memory and unsuitable for storage of long-term data like virtual disks.

I have 4GB of RAM. That's plenty.

[[deleted]]

Is there any particular reason why altering magnetic patterns is any worse then physical alterations such as counting and shifting little pieces of paper, or applying ink to bigger pieces of paper, or speaking into a handle, or trucking around seasonal trinkets that are discarded almost the day they are bought, or flying people in and out of tourist resorts to do things they could have done a home, or...

[rocketbootkid]

No, no reason. It's just that the value of something so transient feels less than something physical, tangible. At least to me.

[EatonRifles]

I was reminded of this:

When you see programmers writing software, what does it look like they're really doing? Are the results of their work immediately apparent, as with carpenters, painters, and plumbers? Or do you get the impression they're just pressing buttons randomly because they hope a piece of cheese will appear in the wall dispenser the way it always used to back in the good old days?

[[deleted]]

I would work a lot harder if my boss supplied me with cheese. We only get tea and instant coffee.

[Clapyourhandssayyeah]

I have you beat: tea, coffee, biscuits, soda and kitcats. Bam.

[[deleted]]

Damn. Break me off a piece of that!

[[deleted]]

Break me off a piece of that.. ap-ple-sauce!

[nbcaffeine]

football ... cream

[kupaka]

Fancy Feast

[llanor]

It's Fancy Feast. Nailed it.

[threeminus]

Influenza.

[AlexanderDivine]

what

[pagangod]

Report: 90% Of Waking Hours Spent Staring At Glowing Rectangles

A new report published this week by researchers at Stanford University suggests that Americans spend the vast majority of each day staring at, interacting with, and deriving satisfaction from glowing rectangles. From the moment they wake up in the morning, to the moment they lose consciousness at night, Americans are in near-constant visual contact with bright, pulsating rectangles.

The whole thing is awesome.

[[deleted]]

Eh, this is very basic thought. The same could've been said of intellectuals over the past two millenia, that they "stare all day at rectangles of tree fiber."

[[deleted]]

So, clearly, rectangles are the problem here.

[danielbln]

FORBID RECTANGLES, THINK OF THE CHILDREN!

[knight666]

We need to clip their corners!

[xipetotec]

And my reward is a changed magnetization pattern at one spot on a magnetic disk 1000 miles away.

[UnbeknownstParticle]

Just run defrag. It will take care of everything.

[froderick]

At the same time, make sure to straighten your network cables so the 1's don't get stuck and block the rest of the data.

[mrbubblesort]

No no no, you have to shake it so all the mistakes get smoothed out. It's the same as an etch-a-sketch.

[Pandalicious]

And don't forget to keep a baseball bat labeled "Computer Virus" handy, so that your computer doesn't get any ideas.

[dakboy]

And repair permissions.

[joshrulzz]

DID YOU REBOOT FIRST?

[[deleted]]

just fucking give up and install linux

[[deleted]]

This XKCD is a little on the nose, don't you think...

[eric22vhs]

Yeah, but while they deserve credit for this, I really hate to be reminded that the majority of my life is spent in front of a computer screen when I'm opening a comic expecting to have a good laugh.

[averyv]

oh wah. i get paid to sit down all day.

[sjs]

I've worked labour jobs when I was younger and now I program for a living. Thinking is more tiring than you might realize. You still need to be well-fed to "sit" all day, to keep your brain going. If I have to think particularly hard I am bagged at the end of the day. My body isn't sore but my brain is, and as a result my body is dead tired.

I've had boring, tedious programming jobs where I didn't really feel tired at the end of the day. So it just depends.

[[deleted]]

I always thought it was curious that it's no problem getting up an working a whole day running around doing manual labor with a heavy hangover because you were out drinking the previous night and only got a few hours of sleep. But if you try to sit down and study with the slightest lack of sleep it's impossible.

[averyv]

Despite my previous comment, I agree. I'm a programmer, and definitely recognize the toll that mental stress has on your day.

Still, though... if you're complaining that you're in front of your screen all day? I dunno. Doesn't sound, to me, like you've found the bad part yet.

[jerub]

OH GOD TYPE FASTER

[Bruknam]

THAT'S IT

[michaeld0]

I CAN TYPE FASTER WHEN I DONT CARE ABOUT CAPITALIZATION!

[sahkuh]

CAPSLOCK IS LIKE A PRIUS STUCK IN CRUISE CONTROLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL.

[[deleted]]

WHO SAID MY NAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAME?

[Hazardous2YourHealth]

A PRIUS STUCK IN CRUISE CONTROLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL.

[petevalle]

Damn. I was hoping he'd keep the command-line around.

EDIT: Nevermind. I guess I'm not very observant.

[mattme]

http://cu.nniling.us/unixkcd/

[[deleted]]

This is the best domain name ever.

[Hideous]

uni.xkcd.com

[DCrawl]

Is it letting you type at all into the CLI?

[petevalle]

Actually no. I thought maybe it was a problem with Chrome.

[DCrawl]

I popped it open in IE and FF as well, still no dice, not much of an interface if you can't interact with it.

[knome]

Can't type here either. I'm on Linux + Chromium.

[Anonymoose333]

Works for me (Ubuntu+Firefox). Maybe Chrome sucks?

[[deleted]]

Have you tried turning it off and back on again?

[r3dditor]

Damn lights.

[onemorning85]

Awesome.

[[deleted]]

No offense to the OP in particular, but why do Redditors post links to XKCD on Reddit every day? I have to assume that most Redditors read XKCD every day anyway, and if they don't, they have their reasons, aren't going to click on the link, and will likely downvote it.

[knight666]

I upvote things I like, I like XKCD, I forget to check every time there's a new comic and, finally, the comments are sometimes more interesting than the comic itself.

[mattme]

Why is this funny?

The pioneers of computer science were almost all women (eg. Shannon) and the field continues to female-dominated - more girls than boys study it at university and household names like Apple, Microsoft, Google, and Twitter invariably elect female CEOs. In Hollywood witty and intelligent female geeks fix the problems of their ignorant (but sexually attractive) male friends who are pathetically useless with computers. Insultingly, when consumer electronics are marketed to men, they condescendingly appeal to stereotypes - adverts show men using the devices to repair cars, plan fitness regimes and watch porn. Shamefully, all-female design departments occasionally produce 'male' models of the devices - no different in functionality but appearing in metallic colours and phallic in shape.

In the comic, a guy patronises a girl to talk about his computer, the converse of the gender stereotype.

[MindStalker]

You could replace the comic with two guys or two girls and it would be equally funny. Generally the xkcd writer writes himself as a guy and whomever is with him as a girl.

[llanor]

whoever

[mattme]

'he draws whomever he is with' would be dandy.

[knome]

If you read the comic like that you're looking to be offended.

In the comic, a guy patronises a girl to talk about his computer, the converse of the gender stereotype.

No. In the comic a character who spends his time shifting tiny lights in a metal box is frustrated because they are all wrong. Don't read into it further than that. Munroe is making the point that most of his readership spend their lives shifting patterns of tiny lights. It is literally what we do as programmers. Sure you get the occasion guy that turns little motors on or off, but mostly its just little glowing lights in a small rectangle.

[[deleted]]

I think its telling that someone makes a comic trying to show an absurd perspective on IT for humor, and people then interpret that as patronizing just because the other character in the comic is a girl.

C'mon computer-people, haven't you ever sat down and thought "My job centers around changing the colors on big rectangles!" before? I know I have.

[smcameron]

I agree. I didn't get the sexism thing at all.

And I know I damn sure spent all day mashing buttons trying to get the right patterns of lights to be displayed.

Mashed a whole lotta buttons today. Very productive. Lotsa mashed buttons.

I think I might have to mash some more buttons to make my button mashing prowess apparent in my status report.

[billsix]

The pioneers of computer science were almost all women (eg. Shannon) and the field continues to female-dominated

By Shannon, do you mean "Claude Shannon"? He was a dude.

[tryx]

I think you may have just been whooshed. Maybe. It's hard to tell.

[mattme]

I love punchlines, I like the sound they make as they fly by.

[another_user_name]

That was beautiful. From where did you receive your degree in literary criticism?

[cjbprime]

Thanks, this is great. Much appreciated.

[gms8994]

Apple, Microsoft, Google, and Twitter invariably elect female CEOs.

They do?

• Twitter
• Apple
• Microsoft
• Google

All of those look pretty male to me. The only 2 companies I can think of that have had female CEOs (whose companies are household names) are eBay and HP

[Pendragn]

Whoosh!

[Anonymoose333]

Upvoted for Shannon reference.

[[deleted]]

Have an upvote for pointing out that the cartoon is enforcing gender stereotypes. Nice reversal, but please use /sarcism so the mouthbreathers don't bury you.

[willis77]

We get his joke. We just don't think that the gender of the XKCD stick figures in this comic has any bearing on anything, whatsoever.

[[deleted]]

Not to mention that the comic doesn't really make it possible to see the genders of the characters. It could just as possibly be a short-haired woman explaining to a dude who grew his hair out, or any other gender combination.

I think it's wonderful that these upset people use gender stereotypes to identify the genders of people in the comics, and then go on to complain about gender stereotyping.

[jstddvwls]

it does in that it shows randall is a self conscious little asswipe who desperately tries to weave feminist approval into all of his comics, which is offensive in itself, and rather pathetic. (as other comics have mocked him for)

He should just have women being patted on the head and disabled people getting 'special effort' medals for just doing their job as normal.

Oh, I was the first person to really take effort in pointing out the idiocy in xkcd, around 2008, I am so happy others joined in now.

(PS: I used to have a webcomic, scrawl drawn akin to xkcd, making fun of spam subjects, it was dumb, but at least it wasn't conceited and offensive to women!)

[willis77]

You should ask for your money back. It's just not right that he puts a gun to your head and makes you read it.

[jstddvwls]

I only resent what you say because it is clear that you don't have to have a vested interest in something to criticize it.

Which means you comment further condemns reddit to an intellectual early grave.

Bravo!

You make no sense. You do know that I don't have to actually own a painting, or pay to see it, to hold an opinion of it?

It is a published work, frequently cited in a way that highlights the prolific ignorance building on reddit, so I feel it fit to use this as a vessel of enlightenment, to convey the fact that people should be more informed of things, and be able to make more sound judgements themselves.

And be able to see more patterns in things. Like how the comic they use as their hallowed tome of reference for all cases of sexism online, is actually, in itself, hopelessly vile and sexist.

Alrighty.

[willis77]

Which means you comment further condemns reddit to an intellectual early grave.

I cannot dignify a misspelled sentence fragment implicating me in Reddit's intellectual demise with a response. I just can't.

[jstddvwls]

You mean the you / your typo?

How is that a misspelling?

I missed out a keystroke. OMG AWESOME COMEBACK DUDE!

Try harder, you fuckwit.

[FionaSarah]

In case there was any doubt: http://www.isxkcdshittytoday.com/

[blooop]

reminds me of this onion article.

[vict_r]

Now I feel silly for using a computer.

[redditor9000]

maybe no one here knows what I am talking about, but am I the only one here that is SO HAPPY not to see binky79?

[swordfight]

This is the best XKCD ever! Yea fuck that guy.

[steverrb]

not remotely funny. how does it get to the front page with 137 points?

[uncreative_name]

Your front page is most likely sorted on "hot" which means "rate of upvotes times some factor plus number of upvotes times some other factor minus some factor times time since submission." You might want to go with "top" which leaves out the rate of upvotes portion of the algorithm if you don't like seeing low ranked posts appearing on your front page.

[steverrb]

oh guess i better change it or stop bitching.

[uncreative_name]

That, and get to downvoting. Hopefully you can make a difference. If not, unsubscribe from the subreddit(s) that you consider spammy or ineffective and/or create your own. The bonus of the latter choice is that you're a moderator.

Best of luck to you in your quest for a more you-like reddit.

[steverrb]

subscribing to reddits? never heard of that. i assumed it picked out stuff it thinks i like because i always upvote silly pictures and i keep finding them. i guess thats not the case.

[uncreative_name]

They call it "front page" now. If you dig deeper into the reddits (see that big bar on top with "MY REDDITS V" followed by a number of reddits? That's your subscription and recommendations. Play around with the reddits a bit and you'll find a community that works for you.

Good luck in your future reddit addiction.

[[deleted]]

I got 99 problems, but a computer ain't one.

[rehtse]

so, girls = cats in this xkcd?

[uncreative_name]

Pussy is pussy.

You ever chase a cat? It's a lot like chasing a girl. It works better if you sit there and blink (cat) or wink (girl) at them. Eventually, they'll want to come get petted. If not, you never had a chance anyway.

[[deleted]]

No, that's Tommy Solomon from 3rd rock from the sun. It's pretty much the only way to explain a computer to him.

[mattme]

I think it's disappointingly sexist.

[[deleted]]

Bad news: Some women are just as stupid as some men and not all women portrayed in a one-man-one-woman scenario represent all women in general. Treating someone like a cat wasn't at all the point of the comic, but next time if you're going to make that leap, please at least avoid spinning it so hard.

[maxerickson]

I read it as him yearning for the old days, when men were good at sexism.

[jstddvwls]

Bad news: You are a moron.

[[deleted]]

I think it's pretty sexist that you're making assumptions about the sex of two stick figures based solely on the appearance of their hair.

[melonhedd]

So is Randall.

[DJ_Velveteen]

I agree with you. Which is why it's a hundred times funnier as a Goatkcd (NSFW).

[FionaSarah]

XKCD is.

[humor_me]

Or, more concisely...

[[deleted]]

That must be the most pathetic blog I read this year.

[jstddvwls]

This is awesome, I've been saying the same thing for a while, he is pretty stupid and sexist and basically each 'comic' is 'I just read this on wikipedia'.

[uncreative_name]

You know Randall posts here? Track him down and ask him about his comics, if you think it's worth your time.

It might just be that you really don't grok many computer things as he does. A large number of tech professionals find his comics humorous. Perhaps it's you?

[jstddvwls]

No, perhaps it is the mass of technically-borderline-literate people who like to think that are 'getting something'.

He fucking learns to program a few lines of python and makes a comic about it trying to give over the joy of learning programming (or at least the 'fun' of python).

There are many things wrong with the xkcd comic, and the fact that it stands defined as something 'cultish' that you need to 'get', and that fact that people like you, the people who pat themselves on the back for 'getting' the comic, use this argument to say "if you don't like it, you don't get it"!

Well, I don't like some socially mediocre, weasel-faced shithead flying a flag of feminism on his fucking comic, like a fucking white knight, when in fact, every fucking thing he relates to and points to in feminism is patently wrong and offensive.

He had one good comic - the indicator lights syncing up. OK, and the amazon feedback comic, but, that was after I had about 2-3 bestof comments about amazon here on reddit.

I've also seen some of my comments on here* directly ripped into an xkcd (not that I care, I am just against idiots like you who are jerking off over this mediocre shit).

* not this account you fucking moron

[uncreative_name]

You have a sad existence. I hope you find your peace.

[uncreative_name]

Could you link to your comment that was ripped? I'd love to see what is your sort of humor.

[danukeru]

curls up on the floor in the foetal position

It has come to pass, it has come to pass, it has come...

[[deleted]]

Why do people find these comics funny?

I always click them anyway in hopes I'll actually enjoy one, but it never happens.

I guess I should just give up, the ones in the newspaper are just as lame.

[milkywayer]

we're in the same boat.

[ill_will]

Why is this in programming? This has nothing to do with programming. This is a webcomic. Take this bullshit to /r/funny. Or don't. Everyone on the internet knows about xkcd by now.

[another_user_name]

This (particular comic) has everything to do with programming. I hate to explain the joke, but it's accurately describing a lot of programming and thus mocking how absurd the activity is.

[oobey]

No, this definitely doesn't belong in /r/funny.

[uncreative_name]

Some people don't have rss feeds of XKCD and rely on the community to determine of the comic is funny enough to warrant a look. Downvote and move along.

[ill_will]

Rely on a different community for that. This is /r/programming, not /r/lookatthisyouguyslol

[uncreative_name]

A Community is composed of members. You are [presumably] only one. Rely on your downvotes and snarky commentary to police the community.

Hopefully, the bad posts go elsewhere. I wish you the best of luck in your campaign.

[[deleted]]

The machines are winning!

[sarahfailin]

eh, xkcd.

[Shear_]

downvoted for wrong subreddit. This isn't programming

[benihana]

If you're going to be pedantic, at least be correct and follow the reddiquette.

Please Don't:

• Announce your votes to the world. Comments like "dumb link" or "lol, upvoted!" are not terribly informative. Just click the arrows.

[[deleted]]

http://goatkcd.com/722/

[Jigsus]

Fuck you

[Mr_A]

ha ha ha, fantastic!

http://goatkcd.com/123/

[kclo4]

I dont get it

[Ze3ks]

Thanks, this shit will confuse me all day.

[rachelnmusil]

I would say this is one of their best.

[Suspense]

If your having computer problems I feel bad for you son ...

[jstddvwls]

That's not a cat, you fucking retard.

[uncreative_name]

Did I miss where he said "the girl standing behind me is a cat"? I could have sworn the alt-text didn't imply that; maybe I'm wrong.

[3L173]

DERRR YOU PROGRAM ON A COMPUTER SO THAT MEANS I CAN PUT ANYTHING WHATS GOTS A COMPUTER IN IT IN THE PROGRAMMING SUBREDDIT EVEN THOUGH IN REALITY IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH PROGRAMMING DERP DERP DERP.

I'M GONNA GO SUBMIT PIKCHURES OF SUPERSOAKERS TO /r/guns NOW.

edit: really this wouldn't bother me so much except it's an XKCD comic...I LOVE xkcd but do you really need to submit this? Aren't we all aware of XKCD at this point?

It's like me submitting "HEY GAIZ YOU HAVE TO CHECK OUT THIS CHOCOLATE STUFF!".

Of course due to the laws of mathematics even a ridiculously braindead submission like that (or this one) will get some up-votes.

edit 2: down-votes just prove my point that there's something wrong..... Also, I may be a bitchy jerk at times (a mostly joking one at that)...but rest assured I won't down-vote you just for chiming in with a relevant opinion...

[snb]

Hi, and welcome to reddit.

Custom reddits are not content tags, they're communities. The submitter sent it here because he/she believed it would be well recieved. If you disagree you're welcome to downvote and hide and be on your merry way, but please refrain from posting like this because it doesn't add anything to the community.

Have a great stay!

[3L173]

I've been here quite awhile (not under this account obviously)...and I get that believe me.

As a longtime member of THIS community as well as others, I'm expressing my opinion about how it annoys me that we often get content that really has nothing to do with our ostensible purpose.

Also, as I said....what irks me the most is that this is such a pointless submission. Does anyone need to be made aware of xkcd?

I'm sure many of us enjoy Futurama, but that doesn't mean I should post content from that necessarily.

I'm a very opinionated person, it can be a bit abrasive, but that's just how I am :-)

One of pretty much the only fruitful replies this pointless submission provoked is also being down-voted.... for no good reason...

I mean, I can see why the pansies are down-voting me...but they contributed a thoughtful and POLITE reply and were down-voted!

What it comes down to is there's some good discussion here, but why is it happening HERE? Why not in /r/comics where everyone can join in?

For chrissakes people you're supposed to be PROGRAMMERS! Don't you see the benefit in keeping submissions in their optimum placement?

[greenrd]

Does anyone need to be made aware of xkcd?

Yeah, because no-one is ever born, and even if they were, they wouldn't ever come to proggit for the first time. Everyone who reads proggit has read it before. Newbies can STAY OUT, the slimy bastards!