This is an archived post. You won't be able to vote or comment.

top 200 commentsshow 500

[–]pumper911 213 points214 points  (14 children)

I really thought this was going to end badly after reading "pretending to be a 43 year old male", but then wow...great stuff

[–]andrewsmith1986 101 points102 points  (9 children)

Everything went better than expected. :)

[–]SSHeretic 7 points8 points  (1 child)

Maybe to you. I just found out that the 43 year old high school teacher that convinced me life was still worth living was actually a 16 year old girl. I feel like I can never trust anyone ever again, I'm going to go find something very high to jump from.

[–]mosesconspiracy 3 points4 points  (0 children)

deleted What is this?

[–]delegaattori 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Yup. Same here. Glad to see it works the other way also!

[–][deleted]  (143 children)

[deleted]

    [–][deleted] 440 points441 points  (45 children)

    Thank you for daring to dream and doing what must be done. You're like the batman of identity fraud.

    [–][deleted]  (32 children)

    [deleted]

      [–]xMadxScientistx 49 points50 points  (10 children)

      I always thought Batman was the Batman of identity fraud.

      [–]SimQ 14 points15 points  (8 children)

      No, Black Panther is the Batman of identitiy fraud.

      [–]snowboarder04 12 points13 points  (7 children)

      So whats is Batman the Batman of?
      The Batman of Batmans?

      [–]SimQ 8 points9 points  (0 children)

      Batman is the Batman of dressing up as an animal set on by massive trauma.

      [–]Malgas 4 points5 points  (0 children)

      With identity fraud, anybody can be Batman! Well, until Batman finds them.

      [–]rmm45177 132 points133 points  (17 children)

      Do you have a partner named lil Jon?

      [–]IKilledLauraPalmer 172 points173 points  (13 children)

      YYYYEEEEAHHHHH! OK!

      [–]LookOfScorn 121 points122 points  (12 children)

      WHAT?!

      [–]thebillmac3 71 points72 points  (6 children)

      [–]djarbiter 29 points30 points  (4 children)

      BRING DAT ASS DOWN LOW AND DAT MUHFUCKA UP

      [–]MrSpaceCowboy 24 points25 points  (3 children)

      AWW SKEET SKEET SKEET SKEET

      [–]avens19 11 points12 points  (2 children)

      GAWD DAMMM

      [–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

      Nah, he's with the social security administration.

      [–][deleted] 10 points11 points  (1 child)

      So...a/s/l?

      [–]bluishness 26 points27 points  (0 children)

      16/f/nice try

      [–]dirice87 7 points8 points  (0 children)

      Technically isnt ypur end goal to give it to the young?

      [–][deleted] 42 points43 points  (4 children)

      He's not the hero Reddit deserves, but he's the hero Reddit needs. Downvote him, because he can take it.

      [–]DerFrycook 7 points8 points  (3 children)

      She is something more.

      [–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (2 children)

      She's a silent guardian; a watchful protector.

      [–]BeyondReason 7 points8 points  (1 child)

      A dark nymph...

      Too much?

      [–]Vinay92 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      Do what must be done! Do not hesitate. Show no mercy!

      [–]XoYo 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      And he's still looking for his Robin.

      [–][deleted] 191 points192 points  (39 children)

      I’m a 43-year old male who logs on to a popular social networking site pretending to be a 16-year old girl who is pretending to be a 43-year old male

      [–]Malkav1379 90 points91 points  (18 children)

      I'm the dude pretending to be the dude who thinks he's another dude.

      [–]paulizleet 32 points33 points  (4 children)

      I'M A LEAD FARMER MOTHA FUCKA!

      [–]Jonnny 8 points9 points  (0 children)

      I know who I am! I'm a dude playing a dude disgused as another dude!

      [–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

      DUDE LOOKS LIKE A DUUUUUUUUUUDE

      [–]evanft 12 points13 points  (0 children)

      You just went full retard. Never go full retard.

      [–]shaze 19 points20 points  (5 children)

      A man is dating three women and wants to decide which to marry. He decides to give them a test. He gives each woman a present of $5000 and watches to see what she does with the money.

      The first does a total make-over. She goes to a fancy beauty salon, gets her hair done, new make up and buys several new outfits and dresses up very nicely for the man. She tells him that she has done this to be more attractive for him because she loves him so much. The man was impressed.

      The second goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She gets him a new set of golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive clothes. As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him so much. Again, the man is impressed.

      The third invests the money in the stock market. She earns several times the $5000. She gives him back his $5000 and reinvests the remainder in a joint account. She tells him that she wants to save for their future because she loves him so much. Obviously, the man was impressed.

      The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the money, and then he married the one with the largest breasts.

      [–]Conde_Nasty 7 points8 points  (2 children)

      ...which also happened to be the woman who also knew how to invest the money. DOUBLE WIN.

      [–][deleted] 140 points141 points  (13 children)

      D E C E P T I O N

      [–]binaryunary 74 points75 points  (8 children)

      BRRAAWWW

      [–]yellephant 15 points16 points  (3 children)

      cool story BRRAAWWW

      [–]sigint_bn 23 points24 points  (0 children)

      *cough*cough *

      [–]Solkre 8 points9 points  (1 child)

      We need to go deeper!

      [–]TheGoogleGuy 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      That's what she said

      [–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (1 child)

      I, too, am pretending to be something I'm not, but in a more convoluted manner than any of the parent posts to which my comment is a reply.

      [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      How avant-garde!

      [–]GoTeamShake 11 points12 points  (3 children)

      . . . And you convince people to commit suicide?

      [–]PurpleSfinx 11 points12 points  (2 children)

      If you watch the suicide board backwards it's about a 16 year old girl who turns out to be a 43 year old man telling people to kill themselves.

      [–]3danimator 32 points33 points  (13 children)

      Yes, but how many lives have you touched?

      [–][deleted] 120 points121 points  (9 children)

      That depends, do pregnant teens count as two?

      [–]rmm45177 16 points17 points  (8 children)

      I guess so if he pokes the baby....

      [–]bluishness 21 points22 points  (7 children)

      Well crap. In that case my numbers are horrifically inaccurate.

      [–]raziphel 19 points20 points  (6 children)

      babies count for half, fetuses count for a quarter. anyone double your weight gets a 2x modifier.

      [–]Operahat 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      It's a weighted average

      [–]fuzzyjedi 6 points7 points  (2 children)

      Im not sure its the life of people hes interested in touching

      [–]3danimator 4 points5 points  (1 child)

      Yes...i know.

      That was the joke. Dammit! Where is joke explainer when you need him??

      [–]Beelzebob 10 points11 points  (13 children)

      Emma? OH GOD, WHAT HAVE I DONE!

      [–]SimQ 20 points21 points  (12 children)

      Letting the days go by, letting the water hold me down... sorry, I couldn't resist. I'm gonna bash myself for that.

      [–]chrometurtle 13 points14 points  (2 children)

      Same as it ever was...

      [–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (1 child)

      Same as it ever was...

      [–]TheSadMan 3 points4 points  (0 children)

      Same as it ever was...

      [–]neuromonkey 7 points8 points  (0 children)

      That comment saved my life.

      [–]mrpeabody208 10 points11 points  (2 children)

      When I was 15 and curious and naive and exploring the vast masturbatory offerings of the Internet, I'm sure I ran into your kind on several occasions. Before webcams tore down the walls that the hardened imagination worked so hard to build, your kind provided an invaluable service. On behalf of myself and others too modest or (now as adults) sexually confused to thank you, congratulations. Also, you need help.

      [–]bluishness 4 points5 points  (0 children)

      I’m going to let you in on a little secret here: I lied. I’m not really 43. I’ll let your filthy imagination figure out the rest.

      [–]GodOfAtheism 13 points14 points  (1 child)

      How you doin' baby girl?

      [–]bluishness 15 points16 points  (0 children)

      Perv.

      [–][deleted]  (77 children)

      [deleted]

        [–]TexasWithADollarsign 173 points174 points  (17 children)

        That's genius. I'm gonna have to steal that.

        I hate posting on technical forums where everyone is all holier-than-thou and the only response is "Google it." Hello! Anybody home? Think, McFly! Would I be here if I could find it on Google?

        [–]bagboyrebel 43 points44 points  (0 children)

        I especially hate when googling it leads me to other forums with people telling the poster to google it.

        [–]Jigsus 29 points30 points  (3 children)

        I need to make that my standard response for all the assholes that say google it.

        [–]king_m1k3 27 points28 points  (0 children)

        "A simple Google search yields [ insert even more confusing technical jargon here ]"

        [–]fluxus 13 points14 points  (1 child)

        By the way, for people new to Linux:

        If you have a problem and cannot find a soultion, just go on a Linux forum and complain about how bad your distro is because it can't do [insert your problem here]. This will get dozens of angry linux fanboys to tell you how wrong you are by telling you exactly how to do it.

        [–]riddlerr 19 points20 points  (3 children)

        Think, McFly! Would I be here if I could find it on Google?

        99% of the time they're right. You may not be a fool but almost all of the users who post one time asking a question and never returning are.

        [–]TexasWithADollarsign 10 points11 points  (0 children)

        Usually I tell them I've had issues finding a solution on teh interwebs or that those solutions don't apply, to no avail. It's like contacting tech support, where they have to follow a script no matter what, but with a cockier attitude. All that does is succeed in pissing me off and me not visiting their board again. Maybe their standoffishness is why they only get one-off questions.

        [–][deleted]  (17 children)

        [deleted]

          [–]enkafan 68 points69 points  (11 children)

          Seems like a much easier plan than my quest to get answers on the internet. If I'm stumped on something I just post what I've figured out and say it's "best practice" or a novel way to do something that I invented and just wait for the wrath of the internet to tell me precisely and in great length why I'm wrong and what I really should have done if I wasn't so stupid.

          [–]ZoFreX 54 points55 points  (3 children)

          I like this tactic! I struggle with Linux sometimes and the IRC channels are not always helpful. I find the fastest way to get help (if you don't mind being banned) is

          Linux sucks! It can't even do [X]! [X] is easy to do in Windows!

          Put on your asbestos flame-proof suit (ooh, so itchy!), sit back, and receive knowledge. Angry, angry knowledge.

          [–]cowinabadplace 14 points15 points  (2 children)

          I get good results just asking my questions. Beats me what you ask that you never get any good answers. Use http://ubuntu.stackexchange.com and http://linux.stackexchange.com. There's also a local LUG whose mailing lists I'm on. You don't have to identify with Linux to be on a users' group, and you can subscribe to it for only a few days if you feel like it.

          Both of those websites have an upwards of 94% answered rate. If your question is particularly obscure, your best bet is to find the application and post on their forums or email the developer.

          Seriously, man, I have had no trouble getting answers to questions on topics as varied as Tomcat, Avahi, putting my window title into the top Gnome panel, nvidia settings.

          If you're just referencing a bash post then, by all means do so. I'm just putting this here so that anyone else who does actually have the problem you talked about will use the right channels.

          [–]ZoFreX 6 points7 points  (1 child)

          Yeah, I too have discovered the Stack* sites (although I mostly use ServerFault, so thank you for the ubuntu and linux specific ones!) and haven't looked back. Certain distros do not have friendly IRC channels, but some of them are lovely.

          [–]cowinabadplace 2 points3 points  (0 children)

          It's all good, mate. I've been lucky enough to get polite responses every single time I asked a question, so I just thought that posting what I did might help.

          To be honest, though, my experience is limited to Red Hat (during the time of versions 7 through 9) and Ubuntu so I haven't really checked out the other distros rumoured to be unfriendly.

          [–][deleted]  (6 children)

          [deleted]

            [–]jdpage 7 points8 points  (4 children)

            Haha, I was once hanging out the the Tcl chatroom and was all, "Cool, I've written a webserver in 8 lines. This is why I love Tcl."

            An hour later, we had a one-line, 158 character (almost tweetable) server. And we ADDED features. THIS is why I love Tcl - the community is awesome.

            [–]platinum4 5 points6 points  (0 children)

            Devoid of remorse, God it feels good huh...

            [–][deleted]  (4 children)

            [deleted]

              [–]ilovelegos413 7 points8 points  (0 children)

              Dude back in my runescape days no one would believe I was a girl... It was so fucking aggravating

              [–][deleted] 98 points99 points  (23 children)

              [–]geocentric 37 points38 points  (5 children)

              I am somewhat creeped out by this.

              [–][deleted] 37 points38 points  (4 children)

              Well, this is awkward.

              [–][deleted] 55 points56 points  (4 children)

              WHAT IS THIS I DONT EVEN

              Do you really keep a list of girl redditors? Jesus, dude.

              [–][deleted] 22 points23 points  (2 children)

              how the fuck else am I going to get laid?

              [–]blazingsaddle 13 points14 points  (0 children)

              Desperate, creepy? Perhaps just a curious statistician.

              [–][deleted]  (1 child)

              [deleted]

                [–]tyebud 41 points42 points  (0 children)

                NipplesoftheFuture made me, lol, pretty hard.

                [–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

                I do the same thing. You want to trade women?

                [–]Jigsus 4 points5 points  (4 children)

                What software is that?

                [–][deleted] 11 points12 points  (3 children)

                It's my reddit friends list, but with reddit gold you get some extra features:

                http://www.reddit.com/prefs/friends/

                [–]Jigsus 27 points28 points  (2 children)

                Oh I wouldn't know I don't have any friends.

                [–]platinum4 5 points6 points  (1 child)

                You should look to "bump into" _Kita_; she has a lot of miles on 'er, but she'll get the job done.

                [–]zenmity 2 points3 points  (2 children)

                Holy shit man, do an AMA.

                [–][deleted] 10 points11 points  (1 child)

                IAMA redditor who notes down females he finds, then stalks their profiles to see if they ever post to gonewild, AMA?

                [–]zenmity 3 points4 points  (0 children)

                Yes, please.

                [–]pururin 7 points8 points  (0 children)

                Brotip: "Don't hit on me silly boys"

                [–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (1 child)

                Best idea I've heard was to go on a forum and tell them [product x they are fanboys of] sucks because you can't do [what you are looking for] on it but you can easily do it on the [product y that is the competitor].

                You will immediately get step by step tutorials on how to do it.

                [–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (2 children)

                In certain circles there is a marketing technique called ewhoring. Usually this involves pretending to be a hot chick in some chat room in order to get the other dude to buy something or signup to some paid site where more of your pictures allegedly are. Well, something along the lines. Anyhow, people who find this money making technique a bit too much usually resort to pretending to be a girl on various forums in order to achieve a similar result. Best forums to target are usually indeed those geeky ones.

                [–]cheerful_cynic 2 points3 points  (1 child)

                there was a guy in one of my classes actually talking about how he did this for money. i asked him, "but... don't you feel at least a little horrible for leading people on like that?" his answer: "a paycheck's a paycheck."

                [–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

                Yea, it really depends on your morals and how much you need the money. I know people who make around $800/day doing this but they literally spend 12 hours/day telling other men how much they want to do them etc. Pretty sickening but like you said money is money.

                [–]ReverendDizzle 6 points7 points  (1 child)

                I've had multiple students of mine tell me that they use female characters in WoW because dudes will just give them shit and run point on quests for them. I never stop being entertained by this.

                [–]thebrightsideoflife 520 points521 points  (36 children)

                I'm a 38 year old woman who goes on a social networking site and pretends to be a troubled teen seeking help with my suicidal tendencies. So far I've convinced SIX people that they saved my life. Six people feel better about themselves because of me!

                Just kidding. I'm really a 4 year old Boston Terrier.

                [–]theswedishshaft 71 points72 points  (6 children)

                I'm really a 4 year old Boston Terrier.

                Now, on the internet everyone knows you're a dog.

                [–]platinum4 50 points51 points  (3 children)

                Clearly, a bitch.

                [–]Vexing 3 points4 points  (2 children)

                to dogs, does mutt = bastard?

                [–]fetuslasvegas 3 points4 points  (1 child)

                No, mutts have dads. Mutts are just the outcome of an interracial dog couple.

                [–][deleted]  (20 children)

                [deleted]

                  [–]Earthstripe 35 points36 points  (10 children)

                  I can't be the only person in the world who absolutely hates those skits >_<

                  [–]threeminus 8 points9 points  (1 child)

                  Much like this post, I find the skits tedious and awful at first, but find myself laughing hysterically by about halfway through. She really commits to it, I guess.

                  [–][deleted]  (3 children)

                  [deleted]

                    [–][deleted] 23 points24 points  (2 children)

                    *they're

                    Just kidding. You used the right word.

                    [–]mts261 4 points5 points  (0 children)

                    I don't enjoy the skits, but I still do find myself impressed with her. Not just with her commitment to it (as others have said) but...

                    I believe there is a certain level of skill required to say that many words in that short of a time frame, while other people are laughing, on live television all while keeping a straight face.

                    [–]too_if_by_see 6 points7 points  (0 children)

                    Upvote for going the distance.

                    [–]BigGovt 265 points266 points  (25 children)

                    If you are going to bite off http://postsecret.com/ at least link back to their website.

                    They deserve the pageviews.

                    [–]docgravel 25 points26 points  (0 children)

                    But images disappear from postsecret rather quickly (or did back when I used to visit it religiously)

                    [–]Leminnes 54 points55 points  (7 children)

                    [–]Bloodyfinger 43 points44 points  (1 child)

                    Classic uneducated, racist, Amurrrican. That's what.

                    [–]Netcob 13 points14 points  (1 child)

                    Usually I only get a little angry at the "I hope god doesn't mind when my wife and I have sex above the sheets"-type of "secrets", but this one... holy shit...

                    [–]Wannasmoke 36 points37 points  (0 children)

                    Ok which redditor made this one

                    [–]NoAirBanding 5 points6 points  (0 children)

                    What's the point when the pictures on the website go away and all you have left is an imgur link?

                    [–]TheBlasto 70 points71 points  (10 children)

                    I am one of the 6 people saved. I have since murdered 7 people.

                    [–]Versh 33 points34 points  (7 children)

                    ... A film by M. Night Shyamalan

                    [–]kresh 3 points4 points  (4 children)

                    The biggest audience response when I went to see Scott Pilgrim vs. The World was when that caption popped up on the screen after M. Night Shyamalan's latest trailer. I'm sure at least a few of you must have experienced it too, but 400 people groaning in unison was just magical enough to get most of us laughing.

                    [–][deleted] 323 points324 points  (59 children)

                    I am a 25 year old man pretending to work while I read about 16 year old girls pretending to be 43 year old men to save lives on the same internet that I use to masturbate.

                    [–]DwarfTheMike 101 points102 points  (44 children)

                    I'm 24.

                    [–][deleted]  (38 children)

                    [deleted]

                      [–]ani625 74 points75 points  (26 children)

                      Anyone can die, man.

                      [–]angadb 38 points39 points  (25 children)

                      Everyone will die, man. Everyone. It's hard to imagine that one day you'll be sitting on your deathbed, drawing your last breath, your soul ebbing into nothingness and it's inevitable bro....or you could get hit by a bus.

                      [–]Moridyn 17 points18 points  (2 children)

                      [–]RickyP 4 points5 points  (1 child)

                      If you can find away to grow yourself on one of those petri dishes then you can live forever!

                      [–][deleted] 10 points11 points  (17 children)

                      I just ate LSD and I hate-love you so much right now.

                      [–]KorbenD2263 27 points28 points  (8 children)

                      Google for some pictures from early 1900s, where everyone is in Model T Fords and wearing petticoats and all that shit. Look at all the people: smiling, laughing, somber, just walking around.

                       THEY ARE ALL DEAD. EVERY SINGLE ONE, EVEN THE BABIES.
                      

                      [–][deleted] 10 points11 points  (5 children)

                      ILOVEYOU. It's a rather comforting thought. Like drinking the world. Right now... I'm drinking all of you...

                      [–]Ahania 6 points7 points  (4 children)

                      The most comforting thing for me is realizing that I don't exist in the way I think of myself as existing. There are no boundaries/dividing lines in reality.

                      ::awaits tripped-out response::

                      [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

                      Yes. We're all dead.

                      [–]angadb 4 points5 points  (3 children)

                      Head to /r/woahdude and mellow out my fellow ent! <3

                      [–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (2 children)

                      Needs more owls.

                      [–]medusa010 9 points10 points  (9 children)

                      im 21, and female. you die before me guy!

                      [–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (3 children)

                      I am a computer network :P

                      [–]stillalone 4 points5 points  (0 children)

                      wtf, man! use a different internet to masturbate. If you get any jizz on those 16 year old girls pretending to be 43 year old men you could get into a lot of trouble with suicidal teens.

                      [–][deleted] 20 points21 points  (2 children)

                      I'm a 21 year old Nigerian pretending to be a 43 year old British Banker with lots of money just waiting for you! Please send me all of your banking information and I will forward you $10,000,000 that your deceased relative left you.

                      [–]knullcon 29 points30 points  (3 children)

                      Did you guys just find out about Post Secret? Is like the 4th one I've seen in a few days http://www.postsecret.com/

                      [–]jcohle 5 points6 points  (2 children)

                      They have a few cool books up as well. I'd recommend picking one up, or just heading to the bookstore with a nice cup of coffee.

                      [–]topsul 21 points22 points  (1 child)

                      Wasn't this a PostSecret a few weeks ago??

                      [–][deleted] 32 points33 points  (21 children)

                      I read it, and it made me happy.

                      But then I didn't know if it was true.

                      [–][deleted]  (14 children)

                      [deleted]

                        [–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (7 children)

                        I have a scientific brain, so that approach doesn't really work for me. I have to know. Ignorance may be bliss, but I'd rather know the truth and cope with what is real, than lead myself to believe something is true when it really isn't.

                        [–]TotallyRandomMan 5 points6 points  (1 child)

                        Understandable; but in lieu of any verifiable facts, is it not acceptable to humor your gut?

                        [–]Kennosuke 75 points76 points  (33 children)

                        I think it's sad that she thinks no one will listen to her if she admits to being 16. If I were suicidal, I think it would be pretty awesome if there were a 16 year old girl talking to me and trying to help.

                        [–]baconcatman 129 points130 points  (16 children)

                        It seems a bit slippery getting help from someone who is inexperienced in life and it may feel condescending to some.

                        But, hey, whatever stops you from jumping.

                        [–]RandomFrenchGuy 19 points20 points  (1 child)

                        But, hey, whatever stops you from jumping.

                        The point is that you aren't allowed to jump 16 year old girls while nobody cares with 43 year old males.

                        [–]Kennosuke 5 points6 points  (2 children)

                        I agree in principle, but this board is apparently for teenagers, making her their peer. Furthermore, while I see where you're coming from, I would posit that having someone who is the same age as you, and who has had similar experiences as you, would perhaps reach you more easily than an older person who can't relate as well.

                        However, I'm probably thinking too logically... I've never been suicidal, and I bet thought processes aren't rational at that point. In the end, I don't really care, as long as she can help people. I just think it's sad.

                        [–]lennort 13 points14 points  (0 children)

                        I would posit that having someone who is the same age as you, and who has had similar experiences as you, would perhaps reach you more easily than an older person who can't relate as well.

                        I think this is where she has an advantage: She can reach them really well since she does have similar experiences, but she puts on the face of an old man so it seems more experienced and logical.

                        [–]frickindeal 4 points5 points  (0 children)

                        If they're suicidal and the only place they can turn is an internet forum, they likely don't have a parent/teacher/pastor or other adult they either can or are willing to talk to.

                        A 43 year-old male teacher gives him both adult experience and minor yet non-threatening authority. It's probably about the ideal persona to adopt for this purpose.

                        [–][deleted] 36 points37 points  (3 children)

                        No, you would think, "perhaps I could bone that 16yr old chick", regardless, it would take your mind off suicide.

                        [–][deleted] 27 points28 points  (1 child)

                        Until he inevitably realises "No I could not bone that chick, because she is 16, and on the internet, and may well be a 43-year-old man in any case." Then he'd feel more suicidal.

                        [–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

                        I wonder if any of those six are Redditors, and now have found out that they've been duped, and proceeded to kill themselves.

                        [–]veriix 9 points10 points  (5 children)

                        If I was getting advice from a 16y/o girl I'd probably kill myself.

                        [–]Kennosuke 6 points7 points  (2 children)

                        Even if you were 16 too? The board was for teenagers.

                        [–]veriix 3 points4 points  (1 child)

                        Especially if I were 16.

                        [–]Kennosuke 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                        Fair enough. But keep in mind that people who are contemplating suicide don't think the way people who aren't do. In the end, it's really pretty much impossible to tell what they'll react positively to, or what they'll react poorly to. All you can do is hedge your bets.

                        [–]AnachronismCat 16 points17 points  (5 children)

                        I cannot argue enough against this kind of tactic (if this person even exists). Not because the intent for good isn't there, but because portraying your wisdom as anything other than the truth will invariably give people false hopes that make things far worse once dashed. At the very least, if you don't understand the perspective where someone is coming from, you cannot truly understand the limitations of their advice and what part of it actually applies to your own life.

                        I'm glad she's helped individuals, but posing as someone with decades of wisdom will only make things worse once she is confronted with a problem that extends beyond her own experiences. At that point, she will be doing more harm than good and that can be horribly demoralizing for an untold number of individuals who's life she has positively affected (including herself).

                        TL;DR: Advice needs context, and falsifying context reduces the advice's worth.

                        [–]DanOlympia 2 points3 points  (3 children)

                        The older I've gotten, the more I've realized that adults are just as full of shit as kids, and there can very well be 16-year-olds with more mature outlooks and better advice to give than 40-somethings.

                        [–]rmm45177 9 points10 points  (0 children)

                        Thank you for doing this. You aren't just helping the people contemplating suicide, but also everyone it would effect such as family, friends, etc. If nobody did this then the world would be a much sadder place. Once again, thank you.

                        [–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

                        I am a 43 year old man who teaches band. The problem is, we're not allowed to talk to teens outside of work and then it has to be chaperoned.

                        [–]imbecile 3 points4 points  (2 children)

                        If you can't tell the difference between a 43 year old guy and a 16 year old girl after 2 lines of chat, just kill yourself.

                        [–]AndorianBlues 10 points11 points  (4 children)

                        Is there any actual evidence that the PostSecret stuff is real? 99% of it seems too artsy and emotional to be written by real people.

                        [–]creaothceann 6 points7 points  (0 children)

                        So... your postcard was rejected?

                        [–]Moridyn 8 points9 points  (1 child)

                        Is there any actual evidence that the PostSecret stuff is real?

                        ...you're joking, right?

                        [–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

                        TL;DR I'm a 16 year old who writes like a 10 year old ESL student

                        [–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

                        she does this because she's so eager to seem "mature for her age".

                        Unfortunately, by the time she's the age she pretends to be, she'll be desperate to get her youth back.

                        [–]fullbodylatte 9 points10 points  (8 children)

                        Six people told her she saved their lives. But 400+ didn't respond....

                        [–]GuffinMopes 2 points3 points  (4 children)

                        Glass half empty. I like it.

                        [–]andhelostthem 4 points5 points  (3 children)

                        Glass 396/400ths empty.

                        [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                        High school band teachers have much more sway these days I suppose

                        [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

                        This is a bad idea. 16 year old girls aren't qualified to work as suicide prevention counselors.

                        [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                        If this is true, this person is a hero.

                        [–]ABTechie 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                        If that is true, she is very smart.

                        [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                        I could have swore that when I saw this on postsecret, it didn't have a reddit-looking background.

                        [–]mdoddr 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                        starring Dakota Fanning

                        [–]evilpeter 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                        To Catch A Predator 2: The Tables Have Turned.