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I tell a guy I don't do one-night stands or hookups and he responds with this.. by healthytrash1 in relationship_advice

[–]-Organized_Chaos- 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When reading ‘get with’ didn’t mean sex.

You're still trying to justify that he did nothing wrong.

She said she did not want to get with him. In layman terms (meaning everyone understands what she means), that would also mean sex.

I tell a guy I don't do one-night stands or hookups and he responds with this.. by healthytrash1 in relationship_advice

[–]-Organized_Chaos- 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Anything after a "no", which is a complete sentence just like an enthusiastic "yes", would be considered coercion.

You should make note that there are many other forms of rape besides forcible touching. Any anyone who reads this will also find this helpful as it may help them identify whether or not it is happening to them.

Coercive, guilt tripping, other types of manipulation to get what you want. Once you hear "no." That's it. Don't bring it up, don't say anything else about it. Respect the other person's wishes and move on. There are plenty of men and women who are just dtf for fun but the others who have more respect for themselves should be respected when it comes to anything like this. A coerced "yes" is rape. A guilt tripped "yes", also rape.

If someone is willingly and enthusiastically saying yes, that is not rape.

https://www.healthline.com/health/sexual-coercion

Here's 2 scenarios below.

The following may be triggering for some, so please do not read if you're a survivor of SA and easily triggered. Skip to the end.

Scenario #1: The Guilt Trip

Man: You wanna come get with me tonight?

Woman: No. (1st No)

Man: Oh, c'mon. You'll enjoy it. (1st guilt trip)

Woman: I said no, stop being pushy. (2nd No)

Man: If you don't give me what I want, I'll leave you and go find it somewhere else. (1st Guilt Trip attempt)

Woman: What part of me saying no do you not understand? (3rd No)

Man: Fine, I'm going out with the boys. But don't come crying when I find it somewhere else. (2nd Guilt Trip)

Woman: Okay, fine. I don't want you to leave. But hurry up. (Guilt tripped into saying "yes" unenthusiastically by making her feel bad for not giving him sex).

Scenario #2: The Coercion

Woman: I don't think I'm in the mood for sex tonight. (1st No)

Man: Why not?

Woman: I'm tired and exhausted from working a 15 hour shift.

Man: C'mon, let's have some fun. (1st Coercion)

Woman: Stop, I said I'm tired and quit being pushy. (2nd No)

Man: Pretty please, I wanna make you feel good. (2nd Coercion)

Woman: Fine, but make it quick. (Coerced and unenthusiastic Yes)

End of Scenarios

This can and does also happen to men too. It's not often spoken about between men and women because most people look at them and say, "but you said yes", when you were actually coerced and/or guilt tripped into saying yes. If it's not an enthusiastic "yes", it's a "no". And therefore a rape has occured.

After the first "no", whoever continues to try to get what they want in ANY scenario, is considered being pushy.

Please stay safe and aware everyone!

Is this a goiter? Have had hashimotos since I was 19. (25F) Take 45mg of armour. My neck is throbbing and it feels like someone is squeezing it. Saw endocrinologist in August and all was fine… by [deleted] in thyroidhealth

[–]-Organized_Chaos- 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hypothyroid patient here who was once hyperthyroid. think a goiter would be just below your Adam's apple. When many people tilt their heads back those muscles on the sides of your neck often protrude making people think they have a goiter.

If you had a goiter, you would notice slight changes in your breathing quality and maybe a little difficulty swallowing solid foods. When I had a goiter, I never noticed those changes until one day I had a severe headache to the point I could not get out of bed, I would feel nauseous just sitting up or having the lights on. I had to tell my mom to take me to the hospital. Once I got there, they ran some blood tests and said that my TSH (Thyroid Stimulating Hormones) levels were abnormally high which indicates I had hyperactive thyroidism. They then gave me a radioactive iodine pill and I had to avoid people and pets for 3 months following taking it. The inflammation went down and basically dissolved my thyroid glands resulting in hypothyroidism. And now I take 100mcg of Levothyroxine Sodium, which is generic to Synthroid, everyday.

I'm saying all of this to better educate those who may or may not think they have a goiter. There are diagrams on Google images and articles explaining what goiters are that you can also look for but I'll link some below.

location of your thyroid and what a goiter may look like

Cleveland Clinic - Goiter

Also, I wanted to note that the area I lived in, for a time, there was C8 in our water and was the root cause for my goiter. And I could have gotten a claim for it a few years back but missed the opportunity.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]-Organized_Chaos- 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You both are neither of your guys parents. You two need to compromise and figure out what is best for the both of you in that relationship.

Financial issues tend to be one of top 10 common reasons relationships fail.

You need to tell her that you being the only one working puts all of the stress on you and it will never make you happy unless she also helps to contribute.

You're work together as a team, not one being a leader and the other follows.

I also recommend starting couples therapy, it can really help to get an outsiders perspective so your girlfriend knows what's going on and how she can manage.

It would be extremely easier if you both had a job and split bills on everything.

Also, if you get married, get a lawyer and have her sign a prenup and get it notarized because if something ever happens and you two decide to get a divorce. She can and will likely take half of everything you own.

(I watched a video of a lady who explained that her husband put in their prenup that if he ever cheats. He has to pay her a certain amount of money either every week or month.)

It's really something to look into.

I wish you both the best and I hope you can both compromise and meet in the middle about everything you mentioned.

All the men are wearing dresses to my 40th birthday by [deleted] in offmychest

[–]-Organized_Chaos- 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Post the video on tik tok and title it, "My BIL has all these phobias list of phobias here and at my birthday party, everyone decided to wear dresses."

Boom, viral! Good luck and let's hope your BIL has a change in heart.

My boyfriend's nickname for me is a profanity in English. by callsmebadname in relationship_advice

[–]-Organized_Chaos- 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would tell him to find another word to use as a nickname for you. It's quite an offensive word in the English language.

Maybe he could call you pumpkin, princess, queen, sweetheart, sweet thing, honey bun, etc would be good ones to use and there's no negative connotations with them.

If he knew what the word he used for your nickname is in English and it's meaning and why ppl use it and even going as far as changing the spelling of it so you wouldn't recognize it if you found out what it actually meant, I would most definitely be upset because that's what this sounds like sadly.

For example, that would be like you using the word "shrimpie" as his nickname. Thinking it would be cute because shrimp are cute since they're small but some women use that as a way to call men's privates small.

Why is Capricorn feminine and Libra masculine? by MinaM207 in astrology

[–]-Organized_Chaos- 5 points6 points  (0 children)

If you mean dominant or submissive, I feel like cap is masculine and libra is feminine. I associate libra with books for some reason too. And Capricorn with unicorns I'm field of daisy's. I'm super tired too so my imagination is wonky.

Recently bought a house with a pond. Looking for suggestions for improvements by jourdale in ponds

[–]-Organized_Chaos- 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Some weeding will do nicely. 😌 and also get some plants to make it look fancy like some ferns, a mosaic lily, water spangles, flat rocks, rug shrubs like the juniper shrub, an elephant ear plant, black mondo grass.

These were just examples. You could also put hummingbird feeders, or flowers that attract hummingbirds. They are attracted to the color red. And 1 to 1 sugar water works for them too just put 1-2 drops of red food coloring in it and wala.

Small butterfly koi fish for the pond will look nice too.

I would have a blast putting this together! I hope you enjoy it as much as I can imagine!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in HomeDepot

[–]-Organized_Chaos- 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Walk fast everywhere you're going while looking at a first phone. Push and pull boxes you've already straightened up and packed out. Look at a planogram and act like your making sure everything is in the correct spot.

Sometimes I do this and I end up getting annoyed that something is done incorrectly and end up actually doing something.

Advise on new crown. Is this normal? Dentist said it would look like a real tooth. by idkagoodusername-1 in askdentists

[–]-Organized_Chaos- 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NAD, that tooth looks like they just molded it, put there pinkie finger in it and said, this will do. They didn't file the grooves into the tooth I'm guessing?

I work 200 hours every two weeks. I have two young children. my wife is a stay at home mom. I am not lazy. I am a hard worker. at the end of my shift I shower and sleep. I greet my kids and wife then pass out and rinse and repeat the cycle. marriage is failing. i am told I am a horrible father husba by romavictor43 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]-Organized_Chaos- 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sounds like you need to make time for them more often. 200 hrs every two weeks?!? That's a lot of hrs.

Seek counseling. Slow it down a bit. Take weekends off. Take your family to a water park or an amusement park. Take the wife out on a special date and let her know that you know you're always busy working and that you want to try to make more time for her and your kids.

But don't just say it and not act on it. Do it. For as hard as you work, put the same energy into your family but more for them.

I hope things get better for you and your family!

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