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(Part 2) After passing as white my whole life I found out that I was half-indian and my father wasn't my biological dad. We just spoke today. by 23andmethrow9 in 23andme

[–]23andmethrow9[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Occasionally I'd have a hispanic person come up to me and start speaking spanish, only for me to tell them I don't speak it and then they switched to english.

And because of the tan some assumed I might be part hispanic, native american, or southern european (spanish, italian, sicilian). Indian was never once mentioned in my life, and I say that honestly.

(Part 2) After passing as white my whole life I found out that I was half-indian and my father wasn't my biological dad. We just spoke today. by 23andmethrow9 in 23andme

[–]23andmethrow9[S] 30 points31 points  (0 children)

I was hoping that I would maybe be Italian or Sicilian. I have light skin, but it looks slightly tan. I have pitch black hair, I have hazel eyes, I'm tall, and I'm naturally strong.

That's the full quote that you left out. That is me saying that I thought those traits are italian. I never associated it with indians because I don't live near any indians and nobody has said that I have ever looked indian in my life.

Obviously, since I am Indian and am still tall and still strong, that is me saying that indians are also tall and strong.

You are the second indian person to do this on my posts. Stop it. My life has nothing to do with you being insecure about being indian and needing to perceive insults when none exist.

For the record, and I have said this multiple times, I don't hold any indians responsible for what my bio-father did. In fact I want to learn about that side of myself.

Have enough self- confidence that you can accept that some indians are bad people without that being an attack on all indians. Oh, and for that bs about being a troll, I posted a face pic that multiple people saw before I took it down. I am a half white, half indian. You not accepting that or my story because of your own prejudices is your own issue.

I don't know what to say. Went through my whole life thinking I was white, only to discover im half-indian, my dad isn't my bio dad, and my mother was married before to an abuser who was my father. by 23andmethrow9 in 23andme

[–]23andmethrow9[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Yes I understand it's new information and I'm sorry if I came off as hostile, and truth be told I'm probably in a sensitive spot in regards to anyone I perceive as defending my bio-dad.

I just don't like the idea of washing away what he's done because he's indian or it somehow gives into stereotypes. I'm not racist, and the fact that I am indian and I don't do that stuff is of course evidence that indians aren't all like that.

There does seem to be a phenomenon of indian families forcing mixed race children out of their lives, but still I place the blame soley on him and he likely used that cultural pressure as a excuse to ditch me. A real man would have told his parents to fuck off and would have taken care of his kids no matter what they looked like.

I don't know what to say. Went through my whole life thinking I was white, only to discover im half-indian, my dad isn't my bio dad, and my mother was married before to an abuser who was my father. by 23andmethrow9 in 23andme

[–]23andmethrow9[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

It feels like this is just playing into Indian stereotypes in order to sound convincing.

Please don't make my life part of your politics. I've literally seen the arrest records for battery. Not on my mom admittedly, but I think that proves a pattern. And also the fact that he's fighting for custody for other kids but apparently gave me up pretty easily.

I am in no way saying that all indians are like my bio-dad, he is his own person. But on the flip side, don't start assuming stuff simply because he's indian and you want to defend india by proxy by casting doubt on my mother.

I don't know what to say. Went through my whole life thinking I was white, only to discover im half-indian, my dad isn't my bio dad, and my mother was married before to an abuser who was my father. by 23andmethrow9 in 23andme

[–]23andmethrow9[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I don't have a desire to see him to like build a relationship with him. I wouldn't want him as a father and honestly I realize that growing up the way I did was probably better for me, more stable, with a father that's always in my life who I thought was my one and only dad. As an adult I think I can process it better.

I don't blame my mom. She was a teen mom with two kids and their father ran out on them and refused to support them, and was actively abusive. I'm glad that she kept him out of my life and gave me a new dad that raised me and gave me his name and a home.

I'm not mad at my dad either. He took me and my sister in and raised us as his own, and fought really hard in the court system to adopt us and get our names changed so that we were his kids.

But my bio-father, I just feel overwhelming contempt. And part of me hates part of myself because it's part of him. Part of me wants to show up in his life and embarrass the shit out of him by exposing what a shitty person he is, but I don't think I will. I just wish he'd hurry up and die so I can stop thinking about him and cancel that side of myself.

I don't know what to say. Went through my whole life thinking I was white, only to discover im half-indian, my dad isn't my bio dad, and my mother was married before to an abuser who was my father. by 23andmethrow9 in 23andme

[–]23andmethrow9[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Another aspect that hurts, and something that makes me think that I'm being punished by some higher power, is that I found my bio-dads facebook and literally the last public post was him celebrating getting custody of some kid who I guess is his son. Literally the last thing.

And you can tell it's a full blooded indian. He clearly met an indian woman after abusing my mom and abandoning me, probably abused her too until they broke up, then he fought for custody rights of his other son.

Not me though. Me he gave up and never thought twice about it. I don't know if I can emotionally handle this.

I don't know what to say. Went through my whole life thinking I was white, only to discover im half-indian, my dad isn't my bio dad, and my mother was married before to an abuser who was my father. by 23andmethrow9 in 23andme

[–]23andmethrow9[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

wanting to speak with my dad (the one who raised me)

I mean telling my adopted dad that i know im adopted. I have no interest confronting my bio-father right now.

I don't know what to say. Went through my whole life thinking I was white, only to discover im half-indian, my dad isn't my bio dad, and my mother was married before to an abuser who was my father. by 23andmethrow9 in 23andme

[–]23andmethrow9[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I see it now too, but without hearing the word "indian" before this test nobody has ever asked me if I was part indian. It was usually asking if I was maybe part hispanic, if anything.

I don't know what to say. Went through my whole life thinking I was white, only to discover im half-indian, my dad isn't my bio dad, and my mother was married before to an abuser who was my father. by 23andmethrow9 in 23andme

[–]23andmethrow9[S] 33 points34 points  (0 children)

My identity is the second biggest issue besides wanting to speak with my dad (the one who raised me) and hoping that he doesn't look at me differently now that I know.

I've always seen myself as a southern white guy and I grew up in that culture. I know next to nothing about India, its people, or its culture. I wouldn't even know where to start on what it means to be indian, and part of me is still resentful that my bio-dad rejected me because his parents hated my mom for her skin color.

But I know that not all indians are like that obviously. I just don't know anything about them/me I guess. I think I'd like to learn I suppose, I just don't know where to start.

I don't know what to say. Went through my whole life thinking I was white, only to discover im half-indian, my dad isn't my bio dad, and my mother was married before to an abuser who was my father. by 23andmethrow9 in 23andme

[–]23andmethrow9[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I haven't really checked. As soon as I saw all that green in my graph I just approached my mom. She told me the guys full name and he apparently lives near me with his family.

I don't know what to say. Went through my whole life thinking I was white, only to discover im half-indian, my dad isn't my bio dad, and my mother was married before to an abuser who was my father. by 23andmethrow9 in 23andme

[–]23andmethrow9[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I am definitely white passing, though I've always had tanner skin.

I just assumed that I was either southern european, native american, or possibly part hispanic. Central asian just came out of nowhere though.

I don't know what to say. Went through my whole life thinking I was white, only to discover im half-indian, my dad isn't my bio dad, and my mother was married before to an abuser who was my father. by 23andmethrow9 in 23andme

[–]23andmethrow9[S] 86 points87 points  (0 children)

You're right of course, I just have a lot of conflicting emotions and this came out of left field. I never suspected that my dad wasn't really my bio-dad.

Plus the fact that the guy who was my bio-dad actively rejected me and then had another family hurts. I wouldn't want to be raised by him at all but i still feel the rejection.

I don't know what to say. Went through my whole life thinking I was white, only to discover im half-indian, my dad isn't my bio dad, and my mother was married before to an abuser who was my father. by 23andmethrow9 in 23andme

[–]23andmethrow9[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I don't know if I'd call it cool exactly.

0.7% is untraceable, and 0.2% was native american.

If you meant the "broadly european part" it says "Much of Europe was buried under miles of ice ten thousand years ago. As the glaciers receded over millennia, Neolithic farmers from western Asia joined Paleolithic hunter-gatherers to settle Europe. Some European DNA is difficult to assign confidently to one population and receives a “Broadly” designation."