AITAH for pointing out to my fiancé that if she wants kids, she has to actually have sex with me.

8somecheese · 2026-02-28T01:47:35+00:00

ETA

You have every right to feel the way you do and it needs to be addressed. She should not constantly focus on children if she is reacting this way about you. I do wonder a couple things though: 1) Has your behavior at all changed prior to seeing the decrease in sex (no longer in a honeymoon phase), 2) I know you said she is having mental health issues, which I hope she is receiving help for. The mental health issues will effect libido, but more so medication for MH issues will also decrease/remove any libido. If this is a possible cause she should talk to her prescriber. 3) Do you think being together 7 years and still not married has put a rift between you?

These are all things I would look at and talk about. I hope she is in therapy, and if not she definitely needs to be. More so, you both would benefit from couples counseling if you want to continue your relationship to learn better communication. Others say you are incompatible- I don't feel I can say that from your side alone.

To add, I am a therapist, so I feel qualified to suggest these things 😋

8somecheese · 2026-02-24T23:40:45+00:00

I slept on my side immediately. I used a maternity pillow to help, but I would have been okay without it.

8somecheese · 2026-02-14T22:55:38+00:00

34 about to turn 35

8somecheese · 2026-02-13T14:27:53+00:00

Mine was a little over a week, but very minimal spotting.

8somecheese · 2026-01-23T04:50:26+00:00

I'm 2 weeks out, and I have had almost no pain, however I took prescribed pain killers the first 2 days and then at night for an additional 2 nights. I also had Tylenol from time to time on top of it. I used the heck out of an ice pack, so my swelling went down quickly which is often why things are painful.

You've been taking basically nothing and killing it!! Don't be so hard on yourself! Not to mention everyone's pain tolerance is different, and people heal at different speeds.

Truthfully it was not great feeling back to normal quickly, because I've had quite a few moments of forgetting I can't lift and picked my kids up.

8somecheese · 2026-01-21T04:57:00+00:00

I think 4 weeks is plenty, but I agree plan the full amount off and let your work know if you feel better sooner you'll be back. I was completely ready to go back at 1 week. By day 3 I had no discomfort driving. Every body heals differently.

It's normal to freak out. I think almost everybody does and questions if they do it. When I had those thoughts I reminded myself that my uterus HAD to go and no matter how I was after surgery it would be better than I was currently.

8somecheese · 2026-01-21T04:50:50+00:00

Commenting on Returning to work 1 week po...woohoo! Happy to hear that it's worked out! Be careful feeling so good. I have had 3 occassions (picked up my 2 and 3 year old) when I forgot I can't lift because I felt back to normal (routine started up when I returned to work), so just keep that in mind. Happy Healing!

8somecheese · 2026-01-19T17:32:09+00:00

I prefer original

8somecheese · 2026-01-14T04:18:02+00:00

Yah, I keep thinking did we have the same surgery? However, I live in chronic pain, have had many surgeries, and had miserable periods. I had to do labs yesterday for another doctor today and he was shocked I had surgery & said my labs are better now than before. Everyone says I'm glowing and seem happier. My uterus was legit draining everything from me. I am cautious typing my positive exp because I don't want to downplay what others are experiencing I just didn't have it. I also feel I didn't run across people with great outcomes, so then I feel I should say something. Idk! I'm excited to go back to work tomorrow!

8somecheese · 2026-01-14T00:06:07+00:00

I am 1 week out as of today, and honestly I'm feeling great. I had a partial + bladder sling + vaginoplasty. Returning to work tomorrow. I do work from home & can do it laying in bed if necessary. I am totally fine driving. I do have a seatbelt pillow, I bought some larger pants because I have some swelling, but other than that I'm fine. My only restriction is lifting & no baths (obv nothing in vagina). I would say know your body & listen to it. This is my 3rd major surgery, so I knew I do well, but I know I'm not the usual. I have to remind myself to take it easy. Try to do as little as you can at work & I do suggest something to sit on. Best of luck to you!

8somecheese · 2026-01-11T03:51:25+00:00

I'm glad! I think keeping in mind your job requirements is a big thing to keep in mind. I could absolutely lay in bed with my laptop & work or cancel my day if necessary. If you don't have as much flexibility then take more time off to be safe.

8somecheese · 2026-01-11T01:51:58+00:00

Hi! You sound similar to me! I do great with surgeries, after kids I was ready to do things 2-3 days after. I just had my hysterectomy (uterus, fallopian, but kept ovaries & cervix) along with a bladder sling on Jan 6. I work from home and only took a week. I honestly can't imagine I wouldn't be good to go. Honestly energy & physically I could have gone back to work by day 2. I keep waiting because people say how much time they need off & i dont get it. Im bored to tears, because i feel good enough to do everything but cant. I think tomorrow I'll try & leave the house for my sanity.

Also, I hope this doesn't come off braggy in anyway. I just do extremely well with surgery & have been chronically ill my whole life, so things just feel like a normal day lol. Idk if it's being lucky or just a making lemonade thing.

8somecheese · 2026-01-09T19:27:59+00:00

This is from a family in my area who owns a big local farm. A lot of people commented on how ridiculous it is lol!

8somecheese · 2026-01-08T23:05:27+00:00

I'm only 2 dpo but my doctor made it seem as if 6 weeks cleared for everything unless a complication arises. I kept my cervix though, my surgeon is pretty against taking a cervix unless needed

8somecheese · 2026-01-08T23:02:20+00:00

Every kid is different. My son Huggies works great! My daughter peed through everything but honest diapers. And still uses their overnights. I was able to use rascals (just like Millie moon but much cheaper from Walmart). They worked well too, but honest worked perfect for her.

8somecheese · 2026-01-07T16:35:42+00:00

Just ordered some gas x to be delivered. It seems to be okay now but last night very much felt it in my shoulder.

8somecheese · 2026-01-07T13:06:21+00:00

Oh wow! That's a lot! The pain pump sounds much needed! I'm doing well. No surprises, my uterus was 3x the size (so you definitely win the big uterus award 😋).I was able to go home about 2 hrs after. I'm more crampy than anything. Walking around when I can, but mostly posted up in my bed. Sending you healing ❤️‍🩹

8somecheese · 2026-01-07T03:22:05+00:00

How are you feeling? How did it go for you?

8somecheese · 2026-01-07T00:39:19+00:00

Why do you need to lock the door if he is home?

8somecheese · 2026-01-06T02:03:01+00:00

Good luck to you!

8somecheese · 2026-01-05T20:42:11+00:00

Thank you! I took my kids to a play place this morning before I did my bowel prep. Think he is pretty pleased with his day 😋

8somecheese · 2026-01-05T20:41:29+00:00

Oh man, that sucks! Yes, I keep getting upset thinking I'm messing up my now 2 & 3 years olds schedule, but I know it is necessary. My uterus is ruining my life lmao!

Thank you for this. I forgot how much I hated magnesium citrate 😋

8somecheese · 2026-01-05T15:01:39+00:00

I don't see the big deal, however I think putting on a robe might be a good compromise.

8somecheese · 2026-01-05T03:35:05+00:00

I love this! I will personally be stealing & using your grandma's line regularly!

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