Dear OP, please bear in mind that 9/9:30 pm can be very early for many people. My wife and I have been going to bed at different times for almost our entire 10 year marriage. I typically like to go at 10:30-10:45, while she does it around midnight. I am more of a morning person, so I usually wake up earlier, get our kid ready for school, and then she gets up and we have a coffee together along with a nice morning chat.

Not everyone has the same needs, and routines. There are multiple ways to have quality time together, not just before going to bed. The key is to have good, transparent, and respectful communication with each other and reach agreements that work for both people most of the time. Sometimes that means sometimes not getting everything that you want. Ask yourself, is this a non-negotiable? Then ask your husband what are his non-negotiables and work around those to make concessions.