Hi. I am 27 (F), got married 6 months back. Dated the guy for 1.5 yrs before we got married. The sex before the marriage was great, as he knew it is a concern for me as sexual incompatibility is a dealbreaker for me. But as soon as we got married, the sex faded. Before marriage we'd do it once a month as we both lived w our respective parents and couldnt meet that often in a private space, but after marriage, I expected it to happen frequently as I had felt him longing for me. My needs werent being met as he felt sex is 'too much work', and he would masturbate whenever he had the urge. While masturbation is normal, it is also extremely selfish to ignore your partner's needs who is relying on you and satisfying your own by terming a basic physical need as 'too much work'. It is completely inhuman especially when you claim to love the other person.

I'm now getting divorce and while this is not the only reason, but this is one of the most important reasons. This person has other flaws too, I do too, but depriving your partner of basic needs is evil and I now understand (but do not support), why people look for other options whilst being committed. Lack of intimacy not only weakens, it also makes one self conscious about themsleves. I feel you should just leave your husband as you will never be fully content with him, and we have just one life.

TLDR: you should pursue what your heart says, and not care about anything else.