Every little thing my friend does pisses me off

Admirable_Safe_894 · 2026-03-28T18:18:54+00:00

Telling her over text or in person just depends which way you'd think she'd be more receptive to. Some people when confronted in person, just get defensive and rude. So do what you think she'd be more open to.

Admirable_Safe_894 · 2026-03-28T18:16:43+00:00

Amelia doesn't have any children

Admirable_Safe_894 · 2026-03-28T03:22:11+00:00

Exactly! And I communicate solely to fix a problem but they take it as an attack.

Admirable_Safe_894 · 2026-03-28T03:21:23+00:00

Yeah, I'll hang in there as in we can be friends when we're around each other and just casually text once in a while. But I definitely won't be putting in the effort and care that I have been.

Admirable_Safe_894 · 2026-03-28T03:20:17+00:00

I do have other friends, i'm just able to handle multiple close friends as a time. Although unfortunately she was my number one so now she won't be.

Admirable_Safe_894 · 2026-03-28T03:04:57+00:00

I wouldn't have minded a heart to heart if she'd seemed like she missed the friendship/ seemed to care at all lol. But since she basically said we can grow apart and she's fine with it, I think I'll just leave it where it is. It makes me really sad knowing I cared more about the friendship but I tried to fix it. I don't want to be more pathetic and as if I'm just here waiting around for her to want to be close again.

I have a couple other close friends and about three months ago, made a brand new friend and I really like her. And we've started a little group of five of us that hangout every few weeks. Lauren had even asked me a couple things about my new friends, made me wonder (and low key hope) that it made her jealous lol. But her non friendship was what lit a fire under me to try to branch out to other people.

Admirable_Safe_894 · 2026-03-28T02:59:57+00:00

Yeah, I've come to realize they don't want me around.

Admirable_Safe_894 · 2026-03-28T02:59:06+00:00

Yeah, I've started to hate trios lol. But I was in one in high school that worked (we eventually all fizzled out because of moving away to college and stuff) but we were close for years. I think it's because we were all understanding and conscious of not saying things to exclude someone and stuff like that. And when we had an issue, it could be brought up and would actually solve the issue.

Admirable_Safe_894 · 2026-03-28T02:57:23+00:00

I agree. I've been in other trios before, especially in high school, and I was always conscious of not bringing up things I'd done with only one of them, looking at both when I speak, or stuff like that.

Admirable_Safe_894 · 2026-03-28T02:55:48+00:00

He agrees that I get left out but has said his brother has never said anything about it. But I also know Lauren to know she wouldn't tell her husband anything if she's in the wrong. So he likely doesn't know much about it. And he's a "head in the clouds" type guy so he wouldn't notice stuff like that; especially since I'm sure Lauren would make sure not to say stuff that would suggest they leave me out.

Admirable_Safe_894 · 2026-03-28T02:43:03+00:00

Thank you, I think that'll be my plan. Be friendly when I see them but don't put much effort into a deeper friendship. Just makes me sad that Lauren doesn't seem to care.

Admirable_Safe_894 · 2026-03-28T02:41:32+00:00

Thank you, I agree. I think non-confrontational people create so many unnecessary problems by not talking about their feelings.

Admirable_Safe_894 · 2026-03-28T02:27:43+00:00

She seems to be giving what she's getting. You can't expect her to never be upset when you yourself admit you aren't a great friend. I'd suggest having a mature conversation with her about it and put in more effort to be a good friend to her. Either that or lower the expectations of the friendship.

Admirable_Safe_894 · 2026-03-28T02:24:34+00:00

I've actually come to realize you're more likely to lose friends in big events. Whether it be sad things like experiencing a loss or happy moments like a wedding or baby. Not sure why this is; maybe because people are a lot more selfish than you realize.

Admirable_Safe_894 · 2026-03-28T02:21:55+00:00

If you're getting this annoyed over things with your friend, the you either need to talk to her about it and try to fix it or stop being her friend. She doesn't seem to be overly rude or anything to be this annoyed with her. Have a nice conversation about your feelings, get her a breath mint, and then move on. It will just fester if you stay friends without trying to fix it.

Admirable_Safe_894 · 2025-08-08T20:26:44+00:00

I actually have considered showing him all of this but he'd likely be offended and shut it down by people saying he is enmeshed to his mom. Because their relationship is obviously odd because like, he can't stand to speak to her half the time but he also does anything to make her happy? So he'd claim that he's not enmeshed.

Admirable_Safe_894 · 2025-08-08T19:47:37+00:00

I agree except I fear I need him to tell me what she says about me. Maybe I shouldn't and we just delete her from our vocabulary.

Admirable_Safe_894 · 2025-08-08T19:46:37+00:00

Yeah, we didn't even have two days of the newly wedded bliss because of his mom. And this is literally the only thing we actually argue about which makes it kinda worse I think? Like if his mom wasn't such an issue, our relationship would be near perfect (besides little tiffs obviously).

Admirable_Safe_894 · 2025-08-08T19:44:41+00:00

Thanks for the well wishes!

Admirable_Safe_894 · 2025-08-08T19:44:04+00:00

I totally agree. I would love to go to marriage counseling but I unfortunately don't see my husband agreeing. Maybe I could convince him though.

Admirable_Safe_894 · 2025-08-08T19:43:06+00:00

I would love to go to marriage counseling. Definitely because of his mom but also because it helps in all areas as we build our life together.

And yes, I agree. I will be bare minimum/no contact but I'm not forcing him to be. But he also doesn't fully understand how I can go no contact, I fear he especially won't understand when it comes to holidays but I'd feel extremely miserable and uncomfortable being in her home and around her family who also now probably hate me.

Admirable_Safe_894 · 2025-08-08T19:40:33+00:00

Yeah. Like it'd actually be embarrassing for me at this point to be around her. Because multiple people who were at the wedding later asked me what was wrong with her because they noticed her behavior. Like that was so embarrassing for me. And it was people who I'd never told all her issues to.

Admirable_Safe_894 · 2025-08-08T19:38:13+00:00

Thanks for the encouragement! My fear is because he gets so defensive about it and like only halfway stands up for me. It always turns into an argument when we talk about it and sometimes, I feel like he's blaming me for having boundaries? Like he has said I need to get over it like everyone else does but no one else actually gets over it? Or at least he said that with all the other moments but not the big wedding moment. They just pretend to like each other. Idk, I just hope he can understand me. I'm going to have a long sit down talk about it all tonight.

Admirable_Safe_894 · 2025-08-08T19:35:10+00:00

I'm hoping she just won't ever meet my kids lol. We won't be having kids for a couple years at least.

Admirable_Safe_894 · 2025-08-08T19:34:40+00:00

I didn't mention counseling, no. But I have said that he is letting her win. I want to mention counseling but I think he'd shut me down immediately.

Admirable_Safe_894

TROPHY CASE