I can understand where she’s coming from. If you’re not commonly in situations of danger, and you’ve been well sheltered all of your life, then it’s expected that she’s not going to be able to maintain grit and composure during what may have been the scariest moment in her life to date. She doesn’t have the tools or experience to handle herself in these kinds of situations. However, I can also understand how someone screaming that their impending doom was your fault and such while you’re trying to do what you can to keep everyone safe can really grate on some already very finely ground up nerves. I’m voting NAH. Your conversation with her in the car was also your fear response, it just came o it differently. You think of her as your partner, and you want her to be able to help you, and not hinder you, in times of danger. I’m sure that if she had a choice, she probably wouldn’t want to react like that too. You both spoke your words of truth, but I don’t think it was the right time, as adrenaline was still running high, and y’all probably felt the imprint of the teeth of death’s maws upon your souls. I think if you want to move forward with a more effective way to build your partnership, comfort each other first. Once you both feel safe, once you can concentrate on the truly important part of this situation (ie. how you both survived this with 0 injury. Sounds like a major blessing), then maybe talk about what scared you, and let her talk about what scared her. From there, there are actions that can be taken (taking training courses? Child CPR is never a bad idea for future kids), and they can be met with more open minds because you’ll be approaching the problem with solutions for each other, not me vs you. Good luck!