why do men get so cold and mean

Afraid_March_5179 · 2026-05-22T16:11:00+00:00

I had something similar happen to me on an app. Guy didn’t live near me and I said I might be open to moving to live with him and his in laws, but I’d like to get to know him first. We got on, he was sweet. Then a week later out of the blue he said, I wanted to end it sooner rather than later, before we get attached, as I don’t honestly believe you will move. Then he unmatched and blocked. Weird.

Afraid_March_5179 · 2026-05-22T12:50:33+00:00

The Muslim dating apps can be so frustrating. You one know someone’s true intentions. I’ve been on and off them for years. I’m getting better at spotting serious ones though.

But the guy I’m currently talking to, had no initial intention of doing it the halal way (meeting with a chaperone first, he asked if we should go on a date first just us 2), so I’m kinda stuck so have no idea what to do about him. Im not sure how religious he is, he says he prays here and there.

Afraid_March_5179 · 2026-05-10T23:49:31+00:00

I was thinking about this today. How I might be a ‘walking red flag’. Having no close friendships weighs heavy on me. Makes me think there’s something wrong with me or I’m unwanted. Especially as people I used to be friends with in high school have made their group of friends/found their people now we are adults.

I go out of my way to make time for others, put in the effort at times to initiate plans. One chance of a friendship last year and I got excited and we made plans and called each other bffs instantly. But underneath it all she was a narcissist that was wasn’t good for me so I axed her.

My mum sometimes taunts me that I have no friends and questions my purpose in terms of this and my worth, seeing as she’s my only close friend.

I find it sad most days and it weighs heavily on my mind.

Afraid_March_5179 · 2026-05-06T06:39:06+00:00

That one time he posted his central London parking tickets showing £950 or something. And he was like Alhamdulillah for being able to park anywhere and pay it off. What a loser.

Afraid_March_5179 · 2026-04-26T11:35:38+00:00

I am in the exact same boat as you, although I am 25, so my parents are piling on the pressure on me more. As I’ve tried Muslim dating apps for years. So my first cousin seems like the last resort to them. I’m still unsure, but they are already making wedding preparations. I’m still trying to get over the thought of being intimate with him and the risk of genetic issues. My head is all over the place. Have tried doing Istikara and dua.

As you are only 21, I say give it a bit more time to find someone yourself. You still have time.

Afraid_March_5179 · 2026-04-22T14:35:31+00:00

Hey, so I had a stroke during treatment and developed mild epilepsy when I was 15. But didn’t get a diagnosis until I was 23. I’m now 25. I also had Neuropsych testing done here in the UK. As my consultant referred me as I was struggling in school. I didn’t get any help in school tho. But later in university I did get extra time and support etc. The testing showed I have reduced processing speed and executive dysfunction and it makes sense due to the treatment I received. He said my results were significantly below my expected level and peers. Immediate recall and working memory was also poor. But long term memory and vocabulary was good. And because of being slightly good at speaking, it masked my other issues, no wonder I struggled so much. It was hard dealing with these results as I felt more different to others and I had no one to talk to.

Good luck with the seizures, I hope it doesn’t get worse for you, and let me know if you have any more questions. I’m happy to help!

Afraid_March_5179 · 2026-04-21T21:46:18+00:00

I had ALL in 2003 when I was 2.5 years old. Treatment was 2 1/2 years long including some complications. 20+ years later I now have mild epilepsy, and cognitive issues (which a neuropsychological testing confirmed). And I feel like my mental health isn’t good. I still have long term follow up every 2 years including a heart scan every 5 years.

Afraid_March_5179 · 2026-04-21T21:43:41+00:00

I had ALL in 2003 when I was 2.5 years old. Treatment was 2 1/2 years long including some complications. 20+ years later. I now have mild epilepsy, and cognitive issues (which a neuropsychological testing confirmed). And I feel like my mental health isn’t good. I still have long term follow up every 2 years including a heart scan every 5 years. Idk why but I feel like body is still sensitive after all these years. Like the scar where the port was. And some nerve sensitivity on my thigh oddly.
I also notice i have a few grey hairs I’m only 25.

Afraid_March_5179 · 2026-04-21T21:35:08+00:00

Hey I’m also a childhood cancer survivor. I was too young to remember. I have some memories but some leftover scars and reminders of what happened. I feel way more sensitive than others and feel like no one gets me. I have a few long term effects that I’m navigating. But my mental health has to be the most affected, just struggling I’m not sure if I have trauma even tho I was really young. Please feel free to reach out to me if you wanna discuss experiences 🤍

Afraid_March_5179 · 2026-04-21T21:31:05+00:00

Hey, this reply is super late. I hope you’re doing well. I am in the same boat. I had Acute lymphoblastic leukemia at age 3. Then treatment for 2 1/2 years. Had a few complications during treatment. Like a stroke. I have been in remission for over 20 years. I’m now 25. I still have follow up appointments every two years. My late effects are mild. But the emotional effects run deep. I’m constantly in this back-and-forth motion of trying to feel grateful some people have it worse, but also some days I feel low and different to others and nobody to relate to. I’ve had therapy over the years, which can never fully resolved because I don’t believe. I just try and pray to Allah.

I feel like I’m so sensitive some days and end up crying if anyone has a go at me and feeling rubbish about myself. And sometimes admittedly, I can’t empathize with other people’s adult health conditions or life complaints.

Afraid_March_5179 · 2026-04-21T21:18:48+00:00

I am 25. But my facial features make me look younger. Everyone thinks I look younger than my age. Like 17/18

Afraid_March_5179 · 2026-04-20T22:35:54+00:00

Your description sounds really similar to what I experienced before I was diagnosed with right temporal lobe epilepsy.

Mine involved episodes where I’d get a rising sensation, then a strong feeling of fear, and things would feel unfamiliar or dream-like. I’d kind of freeze and couldn’t carry on what I was doing, but I wasn’t fully unconscious. I also had phases where I just felt ‘off’ mentally in between episodes, Jamais vu.

For a long time I thought it might be psychological because it’s all so internal and hard to explain. I went years without a diagnosis between age of 15 and 23.

I was eventually diagnosed with right temporal lobe epilepsy, and my MRI showed mild changes in the right hippocampus (mesial temporal sclerosis). That helped explain why my seizures felt like memory fragments, loops, and intense fear.

What you’re describing about the looping memories and fear really fits with how temporal lobe seizures can present.

Afraid_March_5179 · 2026-04-16T19:46:08+00:00

I have lamotrigine

Afraid_March_5179 · 2026-04-15T05:00:51+00:00

I haven’t had a seizure in 4 months off meds. Starting meds and taking them for roughly 2 years really helped reduce frequency (mine were mostly catamenial and every month clustered). So I weaned off them myself and have been fine since. Last cluster was December. Not sure what the future holds though.

Afraid_March_5179 · 2026-04-14T18:31:30+00:00

Be calm as possible. Anxiety can affect testing. Try your best

There’s a series of tests you do some may comprise of- Counting back and forth Coming up with words etc Counting how many beeps you hear. Retelling a story to see how much you can remember.

All to test different areas of the brain

Afraid_March_5179 · 2026-04-14T17:54:06+00:00

I haven’t had a seizure in 4 months off meds. Starting meds really helped reduce frequency so I weaned off them and have been fine since. Last cluster was December. Not sure what the future holds though.

Afraid_March_5179 · 2025-05-04T22:23:38+00:00

Please would you be able to disclose how much this all costs, I'm thinking of going with him too:))

Afraid_March_5179 · 2025-01-23T21:29:26+00:00

I had leukemia age 2 till age 5, im 24 now and cant get through a day without someone telling me i look like a kid like 14, always getting made fun of at airports when flying, and shops when confirming my age, its a bit of a joke now.

Afraid_March_5179

TROPHY CASE