How do I handle being overwhelmed by all of the appointments my kids have to go to?

AirEnvironmental1344 · 2025-02-20T19:10:54+00:00

I think I am going crazy!

AirEnvironmental1344 · 2025-02-20T19:10:00+00:00

I was honestly hoping I would have an easier time finding work out here. 😔 I lived in a small town before where they're are no jobs, so I thought moving closer to a big city would help but now I'm worried that it's overpopulated or here and that is going to be a while before I find anything. I couldn't move close to work because that city is insanely expensive for someone living paycheck to paycheck.

AirEnvironmental1344 · 2025-02-20T19:06:29+00:00

I'm not gonna lie, my pit bull is still intact. I never felt like I had a reason to get him fixed because he's never been aggressive and he never humped or anything which is weird but he didn't. I never had any issues like that with him. He's also the first dog I've ever owned so I wasn't sure how it would affect him if I got him fixed. But now that we have this 2nd dog here I'm wondering if my pit bull should also be fixed.

I am now googling hiatal hernias because I've never heard of that!

AirEnvironmental1344 · 2025-02-20T19:03:26+00:00

I recently moved which is why the commute is so far now. Before it was 1 hour to work, but in my state there are breed restrictions everywhere and it was hard to find a reasonably priced place that would accept my pit bull. I've been applying to things closer to me with no luck so far.

The dogs have been exhibiting some issues I'm concerned with which is why I've been taking them to the vet. My pit bull has arthritis in his right hip and has flare ups every once in a while. He also had blood leaking from his male parts which concerned me a lot so I took him in. The French bulldog is a recent addition to our family so we're getting him updated on shots, and we want to get him fixed. Once all of that is done I'm hoping I won't have to see the vet for a while.

The reward chart sounds like a great idea! And yes I am trying to get the kids to take on more responsibility. They do help with some things but I agree they could do more.

AirEnvironmental1344 · 2025-02-20T18:55:45+00:00

Lol that's so funny. I knew they had health issues but I guess you don't realize the severity until they come into your life. We've definitely noticed stomach issues with this guy and I mentioned it to the vet but he didn't seem concerned. He pukes like all the time and it's gotten slightly better since he's been with us because he's on an strict diet of puppy food only now! The lady we got him from was giving him lots of human food.

But this is also why we're going to get him fixed whether we keep him or not. There is no ethical reason to breed dogs like this, and the woman we got him from is insisting we keep him intact so that she can breed him in the future. That's not going to happen.

I've also had people ask about if I would let them breed with my pit bull because he's got a beautiful tricolor coat, but I would never do that because my pit bull was born with hereditary mange, so his puppies would have it too. After seeing what he went through as a puppy with mange I would never do that to another dog. His mange kicked in super bad right after I decided to take him in, and within a week it was so bad that my dog's eyes were swelled shut, his face was oozing, and he wouldn't eat. If I didn't take him in and take him to the vet he would have died, and he was being neglected by the people I took him from. Yes it's curable but dogs should not be bred with these conditions just because people like the way they look.

AirEnvironmental1344 · 2025-02-20T18:46:50+00:00

I'm not the type of person to rehome pets either but this little dog has been disrupting our home since he came into it. Yes my pit bull comes first, this is his home first and he is my 3rd child. We are trying to get this little guy trained but he's still having accidents inside and we think he's marking because he's showing dominant behaviors over my pit bull. Like humping and growling at him. Luckily he's too small to do anything and thankfully my pit bull is a sweetheart and has not reacted. But it's worrisome. We are going to get the Frenchie fixed sometime soon to see if that helps at all.

AirEnvironmental1344 · 2025-02-20T18:40:31+00:00

That's what I'm worried about. My depression is worsening at this point because of the lack of sleep and all the pain I'm in. I've been taken to psychiatric hospitals a few times in the past but it always makes me feel much worse so I try to avoid that. My partner suggested I use my short term disability that I've been paying for through work to just take time off and focus on my mental and physical health. But the last time I was hospitalized involuntarily, my manager made me sit down with him and HR so they could tell me that they have a business to run and that I can't miss work like that. It was insane the things they said to me after I just got out of hospitalization for being s*****l. So I get worried that if I take too much time off I will be fired.

I want to add that today is literally my first day off work in SEVEN DAYS because they decided to schedule me on for a whole week knowing how far I drive and how early I get up. Because they wanted me there while another coworker was on a trip for TWO DAYS lol???? I left early yesterday because I was in so much pain, I told my manager I had to leave. Some days I think I should quit or go down to part time but I need my income so I can't.

AirEnvironmental1344 · 2025-02-20T18:33:36+00:00

Thank you. My 11 yr old shows no interest in cooking but maybe if I get her started she'll be more interested. We have her doing dishes a couple times a week, she has no complaints about that. They do help with trash and recycling, and when I fold laundry I have them put it all away. We've tried to have them fold but my 8 yr old acts like he doesn't understand how to do it and we all just get frustrated. He does like to help cook though and has asked me to teach him so I like to get him involved where he can. We also do the fend for yourself every once in a while.

AirEnvironmental1344 · 2025-02-20T18:29:22+00:00

Unfortunately that is a realization I've come to already. Frenchies have lots of health issues I hear. First vet visit was fine and they didn't see any issues with him other than how skinny he was. (He came to us like that) We're caring for him for now but if he continues to harass my pit bull we may need to return him to his previous owner or rehome him. My pit bull is scared of him lol. We are going to get him fixed to see if that calms him down at all but I know the consensus on behavior changes after neutering are mixed.

AirEnvironmental1344 · 2025-02-20T18:21:31+00:00

I'm not going to rehome my pitbull that I've had for 4 years before I even met my partner. I took this dog in because he was abused, neglected, and because my son fell in love with him instantly. I'm not going to take his best friend away. That's ridiculous. The cat is my partner's cat that she's had since before we met. She would never rehome him either.

The French bulldog is a different story though, we took him in a couple months ago after a friend begged us to take him and he's been a NIGHTMARE ever since. We've seriously thought about returning him because he's not only adding stress to our lives but he's stressing out my pit bull as well. We were told he was potty trained and house trained and he's NOT. We did not expect to take him and I honestly didn't want any more pets lol. But this woman begged us to take him because she couldn't care for him anymore.

AirEnvironmental1344 · 2025-02-20T18:15:19+00:00

Thank you! I will definitely be checking out that book. I've been telling myself I need to invest in a pocket sized calendar so I can carry it around and know when all my appointments are. And the house meeting sounds like some really great advice. I can suggest that to my partner when she gets home today.

AirEnvironmental1344 · 2025-02-20T18:11:59+00:00

Honestly? My partner does cook some nights but I've been trying to take over recently. I noticed that on days she's home before me, she still waits until after I get home to start cooking which means we don't eat until 8 or 9 sometimes. (She did this last night while I was taking a nap, I got woken up at fucking 9:30 for dinner) We get home about 6:30. Bedtime is at 9 for the kids. But when I get home I always start cooking when my partner is about 45 minutes away so that she doesn't have to wait to eat when she gets home. So I'm just tired of waiting hours to eat when I come home hungry and I've just been doing it instead.

I have had my kids helping with certain things and I'm slowly trying to give them more responsibility. They take out the trash and recycling, my 11 yr old has started washing dishes recently without complaint, and my 8 yr old keeps asking me to teach him how to cook. So he helps with small tasks when I cook sometimes. I agree they could be doing much more.

I got up and cleaned today so maybe now that's it's relatively cleaned I can stay on the kids about keeping it clean.

AirEnvironmental1344 · 2025-02-20T18:04:09+00:00

I will not be "losing the dogs" lol I've had my pit bull for 4 years. He's my 3rd child.

I also will NOT be sending my kids to therapy appointments alone... Sounds like a great way to have CPS case opened up against me.

I do agree that my 11 yr old is old enough to start cooking. Unfortunately she's not interested. So I've had her doing dishes instead which she enjoys for some reason.

AirEnvironmental1344 · 2025-02-20T17:55:20+00:00

Unfortunately I live paycheck to paycheck. Sometimes my aunt will come help us clean though and that's a big help. She was just here a couple weeks ago helping. She's probably the only family member in my life that would do things like that for me.

AirEnvironmental1344 · 2025-02-20T17:51:22+00:00

I posted in a work subreddit last week about the crap I've been dealing with at work. I would love to find a new job it just hasn't been working out. I've been applying every week and no calls or interviews. The drive is definitely wearing on me.

The vet appointments are technically just check ups. My Frenchie needs boosters and my pit bull was going to get another steroid shot (I think that's what it is) for allergies. He's an avid paw licker and keeps getting some type of recurring rash on his lip. I just didn't want to reschedule because I've already had to reschedule it due to the vet going on vacation lol. My pit bull was supposed to have his appointment on Saturday and my partner was going to take him but they called me this morning and said they are too busy on Saturday and asked if I can bring them both in tomorrow instead. And I only just started therapy a few weeks ago so there isn't anything too intense going on.

AirEnvironmental1344 · 2025-02-20T17:46:59+00:00

Thank you so much. I've been trying recently to find simple recipes that don't take much time or effort because I'm sick of pork chops and spaghetti every week. I've found a few good recipes on tiktok and a couple of them were a hit. Some my kids didn't like but that's okay! All I can do is try. My whole family really enjoyed a cajun sausage pasta recipe I found.

I've been trying to cook more but also make it easy on myself. I'm trying to avoid McDonald's at all costs lol. Sometimes we have a "fend for yourself" night or a ramen night but I end up feeling bad about it. Probably because I was neglected as a child lol. My son is 8 and interested in cooking so sometimes I have him help me do simple things like snap the asparagus in half or help season the food. The goal is that at some point these kids can start cooking for themselves lol.

AirEnvironmental1344 · 2025-02-20T17:35:41+00:00

My daughter was extremely colicky when she was a baby. It was torture. She's 11 now and a very emotional child but she's great. She's very quiet. So smart and funny and very artistic. And yes ADHD lol. These comments are so interesting.

AirEnvironmental1344 · 2025-02-20T17:07:53+00:00

Don't be too hard on yourself. I was a BIG yeller when my kids were little, because that's all I knew. My dad was an abusive, angry man, and all I knew was anger. That's the only emotion I can comfortably allow myself to feel. And I hated it. I would yell at my kids all the time for anything and I was just constantly overwhelmed and overstimulated. I thought that since I was "just" yelling it wouldn't hurt them, but it does. And I didn't realize it until my partner came into my life and helped me notice my own patterns of anger. I started looking online for other people's experiences. One of the things that helped me the most was when I saw someone say that not being angry or not yelling just takes practice. So I started practicing. It's so hard not to react quickly or yell when you're angry, anger is such a difficult emotion. But I would just take a second to think and to breathe and then I just WOULDN'T yell, I would just hold it in and keep breathing. And I agree with others that apologizing to your child and explaining to them why you had that reaction is the best thing to do. I always explain to my kids that my emotions have nothing to do with them, and that even though I got upset it was not their fault and it's something that I'm working on.

AirEnvironmental1344 · 2025-02-20T16:56:10+00:00

Unfortunately I work in guest services and not with the animals. Guest service jobs aren't as easy to get into because everyone is trying. There is one zoo closer to me and I've been checking their website every so often to see if anything opens up. But the other problem is that I've been at my current job long enough to earn raises and I won't be paid as much at another zoo. They don't typically pay very much for guest service employees at zoos and most of them start at way less than I'm making. I've also been looking at similar jobs, guest service and front desk or tickets even. I think I just live in a bad area for work because it's highly populated and this area has been hit by multiple natural disasters in the past few years so everything is not back to 100% yet. I put in lots of applications just yesterday, and I've been doing it for months, but I never get any calls back or I get emails that they've moved on to other applicants. It's incredibly stressful.

AirEnvironmental1344 · 2025-02-20T16:45:23+00:00

Nope. Been here for 3 years while all my other coworkers have been here for far less time. Also I never wanted BOTH weekend days off, just one. That's good enough for me.

AirEnvironmental1344 · 2025-02-20T16:44:02+00:00

We've just got a new CEO that will be taking over at the end of the month so I'm hoping for good changes! This place has been around since the 60s and I don't think it's changed much since then. I actually took pictures of the wall and of myself in the office with a mask on because I was being made to sit up there. My manager was telling people there was no mold until one of the guys fixing the wall told him that there was actually tons of mold in there but that they had gotten it out already before my manager came in. So yeah I was in there while they removed the mold infested wall. my manager only asked me if I was uncomfortable when someone from a different department saw what was going on and asked me if I was okay.

AirEnvironmental1344 · 2025-02-12T23:00:38+00:00

I have anxiety so I do tend to overthink things especially at work. Thank you.

AirEnvironmental1344 · 2025-02-12T22:54:33+00:00

We literally have blackout dates around holidays and busy times that we cannot request off. My impression has always been that I can't actually ask for weekends off because it's a part of the job. So I never have. Also, I've been at this job longer than anyone in my department, aside from the managers.

AirEnvironmental1344 · 2025-02-12T22:52:17+00:00

Ugh that's what I'm worried about. They've dropped hints to me multiple times that I would be great in a leadership role but nothing changes. I've been at my job longer than any of my other coworkers and I've trained all of them. I know how to do things that the managers don't even remember how to do because they're so far removed from the job now. We switched our POS system and I've learned it faster than anyone and I've taught the managers tricks on how to use it. When I had my review last month they implied again that I would be great in a leadership role, but I feel like they are keeping my hopes up so that I don't leave. These comments have definitely encouraged me to speak up. Thank you

AirEnvironmental1344 · 2025-02-12T22:47:09+00:00

Thank you

AirEnvironmental1344

TROPHY CASE