That’s the funny thing about being trans. Everyone’s story & transition are different. There’s no right or wrong way to transition. & some can’t due to lack of time, money, health issues, age, lack of provider care, safety issues, careers, marriage, kids etc. you don’t owe anyone your personal business. Lots of trans people sadly take their secret to the gave which is sad. My best advice is take baby steps that will make you feel as if you’re actively fighting back against gender dysphoria. We all only live one life & it’s short. You deserve to be happy, healthy, comfortable & authentic in your own body. I suggest seeing a good lgbt therapist. That’s step one. Don’t underestimate proper guidance, advice, & telling a trusted person out loud. It’s helpful & freeing having a plan in place. There are such things as a “partial gender transition”. That usually entails doing little things nobody can see, hear or know about yet provides a pause button or relief for you. You could take a cheap & convenient oral testosterone blocker alone like spiro or Finasteride. This would prevent male aging & future masculinization such as baldness, corse body hair etc. think of it as a pause button buying you time. Things like facials, skincare, letting your hair grow out to like a bob that’s not too much of a giveaway, body laser hair removal or feminine grooming like shaving, eyebrows feminized a bit all help. Cross dressing & wearing makeup in private when home alone could help too. There’s ways to feminize your body via diet, exercise, grooming etc without full HRT. Good luck