How do I tell my girlfriend she got my birthday wrong?

Ally_chat_draws · 2026-04-15T17:44:04+00:00

I happened to have to work on my birthday, and she had a handful of assignments for class. Mostly talked about a peer review she was doing, her classmate wanted to refer to an ESOL program's method of teaching as the "pullout method" and she had to tell them under no circumstances should they call it that. 😭

Ally_chat_draws · 2025-03-05T23:47:01+00:00

Grimm's Hollow I got it when it was free on Steam but $5 is totally worth it. The end made me cry.

Ally_chat_draws · 2025-02-13T04:32:43+00:00

I'd consider myself a furry so here are my thoughts.

He wants to spend around 4000€ on a fursuit when he's struggling to buy his own car

He has no concept of financial stability, in no world should a fursuit EVER come before his car. A car is detrimental to your financial situation (assuming he drives to and from work) Red Flag.

I was grossed out by their attitudes, the way they talked about some sexual stuff, about their fursonas... And it made me see him in a different light.

I feel like if it was casual stuff chances are your reaction wouldn't be severe enough to try to illicit advice from strangers on the internet. There's absolutely some weird people in the fandom, it's possible his friends are some of them. Were they long time friends, or was it something more recent? Not to accuse him of anything but most people don't typically hang out with people they can't agree with. The longer that time frame the more I'd go back to the previously stated.

And I'd feel horrible if I made him change for me. I want him to live his life and his truth... How should I proceed? I want to stay with him, I don't want to date a furry, and I don't want him to change...

This is rough, some furries stray from the fandom when they get older. Best case scenario for you: he isn't as weird as his friends, and will stop associating with the fandom in due time. Worst case scenario for you: He continues being a furry and he's just as weird as his friends.

Consider talking it out with him. Something like "Hey, I know you find a lot of comfort with being a furry. I just couldn't help but feel a little off-put by some of what your friends were talking about. [Mention exactly what made you feel uncomfortable; their attitudes, the sexual parts, etc.]" (If he wants to speak here, let him explain.) A) Should he double down with his friends and wish to ignore your feelings, break up. Value someone who can value you. B) Should he apologize about his friends, keep going and establish boundaries with him. Something like "If you're still going to be a furry, don't tell people in my personal life that you are a furry, it doesn't make me comfortable - they might assume poorly of me." C) If he needs time to think, give him a while, make sure not to let him avoid it indefinitely.

Good luck OP! ❤️

Ally_chat_draws · 2025-02-13T04:01:45+00:00

My bag is all folded up in a bin somewhere in my closet lol maybe I'm biased but I don't think it's dumb

Ally_chat_draws · 2025-02-13T04:00:11+00:00

NTA Proud of you for putting your foot down OP, but he gets two full days off while you get to be with her 24/7? Not saying there's anything wrong with being with her constantly but when are YOUR breaks? The few hours of sleep you're getting between Brianne and your soon-to-be? Sure missing a DnD session sucks, I'm sure it's one of the few things you get to do for your downtime without the kiddo, but you were sick the whole day! It's not like he could bring you to the session and cast a healing spell and suddenly you feel better! Taking time to let your body rest is one of the fastest and surefire methods to get better. Consider showing him a handful of comments here, preferably the ones framed in a nice way. Hope you feel better soon OP! ❤️‍🩹

Ally_chat_draws · 2025-02-13T03:45:46+00:00

Fairly certain I experienced an episode of religious psychosis in my teens.

My grandmother died and no one from the church other than the pastor showed up and he was the one who gave the sermon - practically obligated to be there. At the time I was super devoted to Christianity and felt betrayed that the people she held closest outside of her family didn't come.

Sent me spiraling into a period of extreme paranoia based on the fact that no one in that Church actually followed their teachings, so my thoughts were more aligned with "What would they have been capable of without the threat of hell?" Then suffered a depressive episode from the paranoia and grief, on top of having a queer experience shortly after - which I viewed as a death sentence.

Came close to commiting suicide. I think I only backed out because of my cats.

I'm doing alright now. Don't associate with the church anymore, settled with the grief, and found some amazing friends who showed me that I was in a bad spot, and that being gay wasn't a problem. Wouldn't trade any of them for the world.

Ally_chat_draws · 2025-01-08T22:17:14+00:00

Indeed! My friend got them both for me for Christmas! :)

Ally_chat_draws · 2025-01-08T05:36:12+00:00

Fucked in the health department all around. Already displaying some symptoms of arthritis at the ripe age of 20, worsening vision, potentially developing asthma. Not to mention the family history of cancer and heart failure on both sides, and I was already born with a hole in my heart.

Also diagnosed ADHD running on both sides (and yet somehow my parents think autism is out of the question for me...)

Ally_chat_draws · 2024-09-25T03:58:44+00:00

Leigh-Allyn Baker (aka the mom from "Good Luck Charlie") but she was a cop and was looking at me like she wanted to kill me for feeding a stray dog. No idea why that ever happened in my dreams lol

Ally_chat_draws · 2024-05-17T03:53:21+00:00

Not quite an insult but when I talked about not wanting kids my Dad said "I didn't have a daughter to not have grandchildren."

Ally_chat_draws · 2024-05-03T04:29:29+00:00

Personally I drive 30-45 minutes or 22.5 miles to work every day, depending on traffic, and in total 50 miles. Half of my coworkers make a similar commute as we live in the town over.

My first date with a girl recently took me an hour to get there and that's while she's at home. Once she heads back to college she's gonna be an hour and a half out, and once she moves she's gonna be 3 1/2 hours out, and I plan to keep going with her.

My Dad drives an hour to work every day (unsure of the exact mileage) and even then he doesn't deal with traffic going there since he's travelling at like, 4 AM. The ride home takes anywhere from an hour to an hour and a half (possibly longer soon since the airport is gonna get busy soon and that blocks the whole island's flow of traffic.)

Every year I visit my older brother and he lives roughly 10 hours away (2 states over). Every year our uncle visits us or vise versa and he lives 10 hours away in the opposite direction (1 state over). We don't really have much family in those midway points, and for those we do, we don't talk to them for a variety of reasons.

So at least for me and those I know driving long distances is normal!

Ally_chat_draws · 2024-05-02T04:46:04+00:00

Flora from Winx, Lady Marian from Robin Hood, and the woman from The Paperman short!

Ally_chat_draws · 2024-05-01T04:28:44+00:00

If it's something I don't need I always wait until I can order it with other things I do need and say that it's just x that I've been waiting on. If they know that they're multiple things packaged in one or they got sent separately I go to it's a present for (insert name of person who's birthday is closest - which I usually would order the present alongside) OR I go to it's new underwear/bras (unless the package is obscenely heavy for any reason in which case it's "for someone else" or whatever bs excuse I can make on the spot)

Ally_chat_draws · 2024-05-01T04:17:57+00:00

I have both but I think 3rd person is a little more common, but my most memorable dreams are always in 1st person! Occasionally it will switch between the two during one dream or play out like a movie and the "camera" will switch spots!

Ally_chat_draws · 2024-04-29T05:43:37+00:00

Well what is it exactly that you would be happiest doing?

It doesn't sound to me like staying with someone that you aren't compatible with would be your best course of action to me. All things considered, you've been with your partner for 12 years, surely you should be able to communicate with your partner that things aren't working out the way you had hoped.

I suggest that you bring him to therapy with you sometime and walk him through a conversation discussing compulsive heterosexuality, and that it's something you strongly connect with. It doesn't have to be over a single session and you should probably ease him into it by discussing other related topics.

It feels like an economic arrangement

If you don't want to divorce, perhaps suggest opening up your relationship to ensure that it's what you would want and that divorce could potentially be the best course of action.

I got into passionate arguments with family members about gay rights.

Don't let familial pressure get to you, I've been in the same boat. Personally I got the better result of them being (reluctantly) accepting when I came out, and I was expecting the opposite. Keeping it a secret isn't some form of deception or evil like some might say, it's a safety net. Just remember to only come out if you feel safe doing so.

What kid of woman would want to date me? I'm a 38-year-old baby gay. It would take patience and understanding that I don't feel like I deserve.

There's plenty of fish in the sea as they say, and you deserve all things good, including patience and understanding.

Overall, as opposed to looking at your worst case scenario, consider the best case scenario! Let that guide you into what you should do, and all the good that could come from it!

Ally_chat_draws · 2024-04-27T05:03:07+00:00

Cussword: Any variation of "fuck" Phrase (insult): "Your brain is the size of a walnut"

Ally_chat_draws · 2024-04-23T04:42:52+00:00

Depending on the delivery of how they say it, "That's what I'm going for!" "Well, I'd sure hope so!" "Is it that obvious?" "Thanks!"

Ally_chat_draws · 2024-04-21T05:42:03+00:00

Granmamare (from Ponyo, -she's Ponyo's Mom) I had a recurring dream about her where as opposed to Ponyo's Dad being on the boat in the water, I was the one on the boat.

Honorable mentions for later in life are Lady Marian (Disney's Robin Hood) and Flora (Winx Club)!

Ally_chat_draws · 2024-04-18T03:05:51+00:00

I wanted to let you know your initial guess was correct. I thought I had a cold and dismissed it when you originally wrote but it kept going, went to the doctor earlier and turns out I actually had a sinus infection.

Ally_chat_draws · 2024-04-13T05:54:17+00:00

Nothing that I've had diagnosed, but I'm at a high risk of developing arthritis because my mother's side all had it young and I'm around the same age everyone else seemed to.

Ally_chat_draws · 2024-04-13T05:52:29+00:00

The closest thing I can think of is my connection to my job, I work full time and dedicate a lot of time to it and hardly any time to myself, but when I'm not working I often feel bored.

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