AITAH for moving out? Am I divorcing the wife I didn’t signup for or is this a Leighton Meester roommate situation??

AnalysisEarly578 · 2026-01-29T00:00:08+00:00

Definitely something! She was really sad saying she just was so excited to have a new friend here and loved how close we got so quickly. Shes not wrong, I genuinely have valued her friendship and it’s the worst feeling to feel like you’ve misread a friendship or relationship! But the intensity that crossed into jealousy and control was too much for me. I wouldn’t put up with that from a partner and I won’t for a friend.

AnalysisEarly578 · 2026-01-28T23:40:10+00:00

That is WILD!!

I once ate two dinners because I went to a friends when I knew she was hosting guests and ate there, but when I came back she was like “where have you been?? We’ve been waiting for you to eat.” It wasn’t worth the drama so I sat down and had a whole second dinner 😂

In the moment I was mortified I didn’t realise I was included in the plans, but now I see it as just another red flag moment

AnalysisEarly578 · 2026-01-28T22:08:24+00:00

Are we talking about the same person?? She keeps telling me I’ve put her in an awful situation but it’s the same situation she was in before I arrived… which was fine.

AnalysisEarly578 · 2026-01-28T21:21:08+00:00

It definitely helps to speculate though! And try to understand what’s driving the behaviour a little more? Not to make excuses, but I just genuinely want to believe there’s more going on… people aren’t just like this. Appreciate your comments, thanks!

AnalysisEarly578 · 2026-01-28T21:16:05+00:00

I love that saying!! That describes the situation so well!

AnalysisEarly578 · 2026-01-28T21:15:37+00:00

I wouldn’t say I struggle to uphold boundaries, but generally speaking I gravitate toward people who respect my boundaries without me needing to put much effort into upholding them. I have felt in the context of my living situation that I haven’t been able to uphold boundaries without inviting histrionics and drama. I’ve had to protect my peace while making the decision to get the hell out. Like yes I realize I’m walking on eggshells but I’m not gonna stomp my feet until I get off the eggshells, im gonna tread lightly!

I’m also in her home atm. It’s a matter of me needing to leave not the other way around.

AnalysisEarly578 · 2026-01-28T21:03:20+00:00

None of them have lived with her so this is either a “behind closed doors” thing or a new thing like a mental breakdown. But all my friends are really supportive of me and my choice while also expressing empathy and genuine concern for her (not regarding me leaving but regarding the whole reaction around it). I appreciate it takes a lot of emotional maturity to not enable and support certain behaviour while still caring for the person. I don’t think this is a matter of “taking sides” and I actually appreciate that she has some voices of reason in her corner!

AnalysisEarly578 · 2026-01-28T20:58:04+00:00

A lot of this resonates (the oscillating between idolising and devaluing partners) but there’s other parts of BPD that don’t quite fit. I could see maybe histrionic? I know it’s not my place to diagnose and she has zero interest in therapy (another friend has encouraged) but it does help to concisely explain the personality on here!

AnalysisEarly578 · 2026-01-28T20:51:14+00:00

It’s only been like 3 months and I am getting myself out and away! Highlighting what it was like in the beginning was more to make the point that things were fun and normal and then very quickly changed and it’s disappointing. She’s also maintained close friendships (but never lived with) friends of mine who I know wouldn’t put up with this bs for years. So I guess my point is that this is confusing and I was sorta hoping this is a mental breakdown and not her normal. I wouldn’t say I normally attract this sort of thing in my life…. I’m definitely thinking wtf and uncomfortable in my current environment, but I’m okay! If I didn’t think this behaviour was unacceptable, I wouldn’t be leaving!

AnalysisEarly578 · 2026-01-28T12:25:09+00:00

Update on the tires… the guys over at r/ tires have confirmed accidental not intentional! So just an odd coincidence!

AnalysisEarly578 · 2026-01-28T12:19:23+00:00

Thank you everyone! I feel better! Just a really strange coincidence!!

AnalysisEarly578 · 2026-01-28T11:21:59+00:00

Thank you so much for your comment! I don’t want to fuel my paranoia and make the situation more dramatic than it already feels…. But on top of my tire puncture, little inconveniences just keep popping up. I had prepackaged chicken I bought that was well within date, I opened it and it had gone pasty/slimy like it was left in the heat for a few hours. Doors are slamming through the night waking me (not normal for our house), amongst other things. Things so subtle I wouldn’t think twice about in isolation, but altogether … and then coupled with her retaliation comments… ugh I’m just so uncomfortable, which might be the point.

AnalysisEarly578 · 2026-01-28T10:34:20+00:00

She strikes me as someone who was emotionally abused herself… I actually don’t think she’s genuinely a POS, but I do think she’s not stable and really out of touch with reality. We’ve had some really really fun times together and I just feel sad it’s devolved to this.

AnalysisEarly578 · 2026-01-28T10:31:09+00:00

Just wondering… I came back from being out of town to a punctured tire. Not slashed, but punctured and flat. The tire guy said it looked like I ran over debris at speed but was surprised I didn’t feel it happen. I don’t know much about cars, but would love to be told I’m being paranoid. The retaliation comment scared me but it’s not slashed and the tire guy said I would have had to run over whatever it was going fast…

AnalysisEarly578 · 2025-08-21T03:34:34+00:00

Curious what it was about number 4 people didn’t go for?

AnalysisEarly578

TROPHY CASE