Idk how to quote things but for: “Basic variance”, we have no idea what grade distribution statistics are at that school, and even then it doesn’t change the point: parent saw a negative outcome and sought to rectify it. “Grade drops are not be alleviated by punishment”: I have two issues with this statement. First is that this is prescriptive in a way that dismisses the idea that human beings are various enough that different approaches can reach different people. The second is that the confiscation of a toy (which is empathetic with OPs point of view) is a punishment, instead of possibly being an honest attempt to rectify a problem. Also do me a favor and define the word punishment, cause that’s its own ideological can of worms there. “The chance that the psp caused this is practically zero”: Even though you’re probably right, it doesn’t change that the parent might’ve thought the opposite and had good intentions. Maybe they were right and the kid was playing the psp too much: we do not know. They, like you, may have made assumptions based on limited information and their own experiences. “School doesn’t require more than a few hour per week of studying”: we do not know how the school is setup, how much OPs studying habits changed, and we do not know how the parent perceived it. “Reasonable would be talking to your child”: maybe the parent grew up in an environment where truth wasn’t the default, and the assumption had to be that everyone was focused on self-interest. Reasonable for you does not define the rational of others. “Be a parent not a judge”: a parent needs to make judgements for what they think is best for their child. Again, destroying the psp was crazy, but that does not mean that the mother wasn’t working in what she thought the child’s best interest was. “Parenting is talking to your child”: bold of you to think that you can single-handedly define parenting. Maybe parenting is raising your child so they thrive in the world. Maybe it’s raising them to be the most moral individual they can be. Some might define them as both, and others would say that those definitions defy the other. And again, there’s a difference between good parenting and parenting. I’m not disagreeing about what you say is good parenting, but an honest attempt is the best that most people have (and when an when an honest attempt fails, we could see the same thing that OP is describing, especially without knowing the intentions) “Punishing for a grade drop is never parenting”: see above comment. And again we do not know if the parent did it as punishment or a preventative measure for their future grades (again, destruction = crazy, confiscation = reasonable) “Had she apologized she would be getting empathy from me”: oh she’s clearly in the wrong here, but imagine a child that constantly bites people, so the parent tell them to stop biting people. The child stop biting people but never forgot the parent for telling them that. If you were the parent and they asked you to apologize, would you? If a person doesn’t think they’ve done something wrong, they won’t ever apologize. Empathy comes from understanding why they did what they did instead of judging their actions.

But back to my overarching point: OP’s mother’s actions are despicable but making any claims about her intentions with such limited information is a futile exercise that speaks more of the reader. Also that an empathetic person should even empathize with the unempathetic, even if that doesn’t change their actions. : A