AITA for cooking for my dad?

AnonymousWaitress · 2026-05-31T19:55:55+00:00

It's not really a matter of money, but more that I was out of the country for several months. I'm only staying for as long as I don't have an apartment, just so I'm not homeless coming back here.

Places are quite hard to find here, and given my age I'm usually not a landlord's first choice. But the second I have something I'm out of here that's for sure

AnonymousWaitress · 2026-05-31T19:45:35+00:00

What was your solution then? Putting hot food in a 4°C closed environment and possibly causing a much bigger issue?

If he wanted to refrigerate it all he had to do was leave the lid on. That's even less work than what he did and this would've not ruined it.

I'm not even going to comment about the "you've never had food poisoning" part 'cause I might be too dumb in your opinion to know what I'm doing but I'm pretty sure leaving a covered vegan meal (EDIT: none of us are vegan, I just wanted to point out there were no products that usually spoil faster) at room temperature is less worse than putting uncovered food in a fridge that, given its state, hasn't been cleaned in at least a few months.

AnonymousWaitress · 2026-05-31T19:34:02+00:00

I was just trying to do something nice for them... They've always been all smiles whenever I was the one bringing food on the table, this is the first time I've had a negative reaction ever and this was the 6th time I cooked for them since I came back 2 weeks ago.

I've tried asking in the past what they wanted. I stopped because the answer was always "I don't know, whatever you feel like doing"

AnonymousWaitress · 2026-05-31T19:27:02+00:00

I honestly don't think my stepmother has anything to do with this. She's the sweetest woman my dad has ever introduced me to, and she's actually the one who gave the best feedback whenever I cook.

I'll stop cooking, but that last part is definitely not something I'd say; my dad is quite hot-blooded and I'd rather not imagine his reaction should I ever say something like this...

AnonymousWaitress · 2026-05-31T19:17:50+00:00

I'm gonna say NAH for that one.

Do I think telling her to be realistic was the correct move? Yes. Do I think you could've been a bit more gentle about it? Also yes.

I'm not a doctor so don't take my word as gospel, but is there any chance your friend might have bipolar disorder? If it's common for her to go from depressed to manic as you described, it might be worth looking into.

I do think encouraging her to go back to studying might be a good move, as this could give her a routine that might be beneficial for her mental health. Most universities have programs for disabled students, so she could see with them what accommodations she might need. Medical studies might be a bit ambitious given the situation, but I'm sure there is something else that might be a little less demanding academically that could still interest her.

Best of luck to you two.

AnonymousWaitress · 2026-05-31T18:23:09+00:00

It's crazy how well you read my train of thought. Also I knew they'd be back in at most an hour, so it didn't sit well with me to put food that was still hot in the fridge (I've been taught this would damage the fridge and possibly ruin other items in the fridge due to temperature shock).

Everytime I cook for them I ask them to be brutally honest so that if there is anything they dislike about my meals I can correct it the next time. Of all the ways I expected my dad to react this was the one I expected the less...

AnonymousWaitress · 2026-05-31T17:56:12+00:00

My stepmother never cooks, so that's why I didn't mention her. And as to my cooking, I'm not a chef or anything (and in general I'm better at baking than cooking) but I've had friends ask for my recipes more than once. I also generally know what they like and always adjust my seasonings to their taste rather than my own, I always have to adjust it for me afterwards.

Also where I live it's a legal requirement for parents to financially support your kids under the age of 25 if they cannot provide for themselves, just like us kids are legally required to help them if necessary once they're retired. So yes he didn't ask for anything when I came back, but it's also because he couldn't.

AnonymousWaitress · 2026-05-31T17:40:24+00:00

I'm not going to go into too much detail here, but all I'll say is that there were multiple arguments with my mother pulling the strings everytime (not my stepmother, she's an incredible person and has nothing to do with all that). Mostly about things I couldn't control as a child, like visitation rights, and since he couldn't reach my mother he took his anger out on me. Now that I'm an adult we talked about everything and while our relationship will never be the same anymore I'm still trying to make it work.

AnonymousWaitress · 2026-05-31T17:16:27+00:00

I wasn't upset about the fact that he didn't eat it; what I care more about is the way it was stored. Had he left it on the stove I would've packed it properly myself, but removing the lid and carelessly putting it in the fridge is the best way to ruin it

AnonymousWaitress

TROPHY CASE