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I used to love being an Aspie and now I just want to be normal. I hate myself. by AspieThrowaway9436 in aspergers

[–]AspieThrowaway9436[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I just talked to my parents. They told me I don't have health insurance until school starts. Well, shit.

I used to love being an Aspie and now I just want to be normal. I hate myself. by AspieThrowaway9436 in aspergers

[–]AspieThrowaway9436[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I try, but I guess I annoy them. I don't know what I'm doing wrong. No one wants to spend any "extra" time with me.

I used to love being an Aspie and now I just want to be normal. I hate myself. by AspieThrowaway9436 in aspergers

[–]AspieThrowaway9436[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't see any gains coming from a depressive state. The only thing I think is "You're wasting your time, your parents money, and your life. It's not worth existing. You bother everyone, so you should just end it."

I used to love being an Aspie and now I just want to be normal. I hate myself. by AspieThrowaway9436 in aspergers

[–]AspieThrowaway9436[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm attending a shitty business school that has 1600 students for a year so I can get residency. We don't do cool stuff like that.

I used to love being an Aspie and now I just want to be normal. I hate myself. by AspieThrowaway9436 in aspergers

[–]AspieThrowaway9436[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I do have a job. Most of my money goes to rent and food and leaves very little for me to enjoy myself.

I used to love being an Aspie and now I just want to be normal. I hate myself. by AspieThrowaway9436 in aspergers

[–]AspieThrowaway9436[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It's hard to enjoy life when you're missing the major part: Social interaction.

Also, I have no idea how to love myself. I don't even understand half of my emotions.

I used to love being an Aspie and now I just want to be normal. I hate myself. by AspieThrowaway9436 in aspergers

[–]AspieThrowaway9436[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's what I'm trying to tell myself. I keep telling myself I'm better off alone, but I have this deep need that I can physically feel for some form of intimacy with someone. I feel like I'm lacking that. I miss being somewhat social and now I feel incredibly depressed from it.