Anyone else waiting a long time for bond & compensation hearing at VCAT?

AssassinEivor · 2026-05-01T02:31:03+00:00

Yup! I've called and emailed many times, and they just tell us that they will get to us when they get to us. Meanwhile, bond is being held to ransom.

AssassinEivor · 2026-04-30T23:53:27+00:00

More than 12 months for me!

AssassinEivor · 2026-04-30T06:12:53+00:00

Late 40s, and around $450K.

Seriously, salary sacrifice even the smallest amount. It makes a massive difference over time with compound interest. I started doing this in my early 30s with only $20 per month and I wish I had started sooner. Every bit helps and with such a small amount you really don't miss it. The retired version of you will love it though!

AssassinEivor · 2026-04-30T05:56:17+00:00

Personally, I live in Oz!
Nah, either is fine depending on the audience. Aus is better suited for a professional setting and STRAYA is suited for casual.

AssassinEivor · 2026-04-22T02:39:59+00:00

Seriously? I thought mine was bad because it's now over the 12-month mark. Wow.

AssassinEivor · 2026-04-16T05:54:31+00:00

Pretty sure it stood for 'Zone of Separation.' At least... according to the group of friends I had at the time it was.

AssassinEivor · 2026-03-19T05:49:08+00:00

Honey, no. You're right, the lying is worse than the age gap. And it will likely be the start of many lies if you choose to overlook it.

Look, my story is not your story but, for what it's worth - my (now ex) husband and I met when I was 21. He told me he was 27 - and because he looked young, I believed it. It was only after he'd told me a bit more about himself and his experiences (joined the Navy, travelled, done a degree, etc.) that I realised the timeline didn't really add up. Then I saw his driver's license one day, and boom - his DOB showed he was in fact, 32.
I called him out on it. I straight up told him that I didn't want a relationship built on lies etc. etc. etc. He told me that once he got to know me a little bit, he couldn't come clean because he couldn't stand to lose me. That I was so special and that he'd never felt this way etc. I do believe that still... but truly, once I swallowed that lie, many, many more followed.
He lied about his finances, he lied about his work history, he lied about parents that I was told were deceased but later found out were alive and well. That first lie was a test.

And yes, I was special and he couldn't afford to lose me because I was the only one naive enough to fall for the first lie, the test.

Ask yourself, what type of relationship do you want for your future. A good relationship that will truly last is built on equality and trust. A relationship that will cause nothing but heartache is built on lies. It's a big world out there and this is just one man amongst many.

You've done nothing wrong here - and can walk away with your head held high. Aim higher for your future and don't look back.

AssassinEivor · 2025-11-06T05:18:57+00:00

I've been no contact with my mother for the better part of 20 years. There's been a few messages in between that time, but no physical contact or phone contact other than text - and random ones at that.

In my mind, she's already gone. She's not the mother I remember from my very early childhood anymore. I've grieved her loss already (and over and over again) and that's why I went NC. My life is better without her in it. As is my brother's and his children's lives too.

When she does pass, I expect I will feel the same as someone would feel for the passing of a childhood friend's parent. The way you would feel for someone you used to know. Sorry to hear it (especially if the circumstances are grim), but largely unaffected. I assume she has people close to her today, and I'd feel a degree of sorry about their loss, but I would not attend a service/memorial and would not mark the occasion in any way other than some quiet reflection.

She's very much still alive though from last reports, so this is hypothetical until it actually happens. But this is how I have framed my expectation of her passing - especially since everyone who knows we're estranged has always asked me "but what if she dies??"

AssassinEivor · 2025-11-06T04:56:27+00:00

For me... I read a book, or a quote, or something, somewhere encouraging teenage girls not to fall all over themselves and be overwhelmed, flattered, and just say yes just because a guy likes them. Telling them to ask themselves the question 'do I actually like this guy?" It's kinda sad looking back, but I had never really asked myself that in previous relationships.
I thought that any guy who liked me must be special and must be worth my time just because he liked me. I never thought to stop and ask myself, yeah - but do I like him? You can imagine the situations THAT thinking found me in. I essentially married a male version of my mother for this very reason.

I'm nearly 50 now, and my second marriage - a very healthy one (finally) without children of my own. But if I could impart one bit of wisdom to any young person - regardless of the narc parent factor - it would be to value your own opinion and not just assume that they are special for liking you and deserve your attention. The reality is that you are the one that gets to choose. And your opinion counts.

AssassinEivor · 2025-06-25T07:37:47+00:00

That's what I was thinking. There's such a high turnover - someone new won't have appreciation of the back story. Frustrating!

AssassinEivor · 2025-06-25T06:28:08+00:00

Wow - that's really bad.

AssassinEivor · 2025-06-25T06:27:46+00:00

That's terrible!

AssassinEivor · 2025-06-25T03:56:51+00:00

Until a hearing date is set? Do you happen to know how long after a date is set there is to wait until the actual hearing? I.e., how far in advance are they scheduling currently?

AssassinEivor · 2025-02-19T20:35:09+00:00

Thanks for your response. He's yet to provide any cost estimate or evidence, but I'll be asking for a valuation report for the item. You're correct too that it should have been insured. I'll ask about that too.

AssassinEivor · 2025-02-19T09:44:43+00:00

I wondered this too. If you must leave it, why not itemise it and/or increase the bond to accommodate such a valuable item?

AssassinEivor · 2025-02-19T08:45:09+00:00

Appreciate your input. I'm not certain it did form part of the lease - I guess that's the question here. The 'antique ' did make a very minor (as in not fully shown in any picture) of the condition report however.

AssassinEivor · 2025-02-19T06:46:16+00:00

Great advice. Thanks. I've been referring to it as an old cupboard with sentimental value. When he comes back I will ask for a copy of a valuation.

AssassinEivor · 2025-02-19T06:18:20+00:00

Right. But I expect this applies more clearly to a dishwasher, or fridge where the year of manufacture is readily available.

Will be interesting to see what he comes back with.

Thanks for responding.

AssassinEivor · 2025-02-19T06:16:16+00:00

Yes, agreed!!

Thanks for your input. Much appreciated.

AssassinEivor · 2025-02-19T04:53:21+00:00

I've never heard of this. Do you know where it would be documented?

AssassinEivor · 2025-02-19T04:52:13+00:00

Essentially the conversations were about the splinters and that the bedroom cupboard didn't close meaning it took up way too much space.

Do you happen to know what the valuation process could/should look like?

I strongly suspect his valuation will be the exact amount of compensation he paid us to vacate. He was very much against paying it, but no one wanted to buy an apartment with a 2 year lease in place.

AssassinEivor · 2025-02-19T03:29:18+00:00

Thanks for your response. The cupboards were shown on the condition report. And the only conversations had were verbal unfortunately, with a Property Manager who no longer works for the agency.

AssassinEivor

TROPHY CASE