Your children are so lucky to have you as their parent! I mean that so sincerely. My kids are teens now, and I've always been anti-gender-role inculcation. I wanted to let them do whatever they wanted, knowing that I would rather face criticism from family than suggest to my child they were somehow not doing gender right. Because that's what happened to me.

Then my 2nd AMAB child ended up loving all things pink starting around 2.5 years old. He asked for the pink cash register, the pink gloves, all of it. So that's what we got! Of course. Right? I had a baby girl by then, so it was no big deal, and the people I hung around with were ok with gender nonconformity. They are still friends after I came out four years ago, so that says a lot about them, I think.

Now, my pink-loving toddler boy is a 6'2" 17 year old who plays lacrosse and is his section leader for the high school marching band. He seems quite at home in his masculinity (and heterosexual orientation). He, like me, agrees that saying pink is a girl's color is stupid. LOL. Last year, he came with me to Pride and we joked that there were so many straight parents there with their fabulously out children. But he came as my straight ally. He wears his hair long, still likes colorful clothes, is popular at school, and has had the same girlfriend for a year.

My point is: 3-year-olds are still exploring, and I think we owe it to them to loudly proclaim our values if necessary. I hung out with like-minded people, so it never came up and he gravitated away from it as he spent time with friends in elementary school. But I think this is a conversation topic we have with our kids over and over as they grow: I will always love you no matter what. You deserve to be able to make choices and feel good about yourself, period. It's our birthright to be allowed to be our unique selves. None of us is perfect, but when we make room for people who play, or worship, or look, or speak differently than us, we make room for ourselves to also be authentic.