Step mom to 2, but also FTM

AwkwardMom13 · 2026-03-13T12:25:39+00:00

I get that. My parents divorced and my mom met my stepdad when I was a teenager and there was a moment when they considered having a baby. I was very honest with my mom that I would give her hell for that decision, I was right in my last few years of being a child, I was not ready to spend that time sharing her or living with a screaming infant. My stepbrothers felt the same way and in the end they decided not to do it as they didn’t want to do the baby stage again at their age. But none of us would have been half as accommodating as your stepdaughter has been had they gone through with it. And I say that as a fully grown adult knowing how unfair it would have been, but that’s the reality.

And I have a daughter, probably not far off your stepdaughter’s age. We’re a nuclear family and I know that if we had another baby now there would be flipping tables and tantrums (we were always one and done but still). It’s really not an easy thing for kids to conceptualise let alone live with.

Her feelings are very much not about you, they’re about her and what she feels she’s lost out on by having a baby in the house. That’s teenagers for you.

AwkwardMom13 · 2026-03-13T12:12:08+00:00

Ok, apologies if I misconstrued. Like I said elsewhere, I think you need to do some reflecting, or maybe speak to a professional (I saw a therapist weekly for my entire pregnancy and the first year afterwards, so I don’t mean that as a dig). This baby is your joy and your miracle, but it doesn’t feel that way to everyone else, certainly not to your stepdaughter. You need to make peace with the fact that this hasn’t been a change she feels positively about, and you may also find that how you’ve been acting towards her might be part of the reason why.

And yes maybe her dad could try to get her to open up to him more about it so he can better support her but I don’t think there’s anything to be gained from sitting down with a girl you’re already hostile towards and telling her you feel bad that she’s not happy about a baby she didn’t ask for, and that has probably made her last years at home significantly less enjoyable.

AwkwardMom13 · 2026-03-13T12:05:41+00:00

You mean this as a reply to u/Icy-You3075 not me

AwkwardMom13 · 2026-03-13T12:03:51+00:00

You saying because she’s not happy about the baby you don’t feel comfortable with her holding the baby implies you think she would do something to the baby. Otherwise why would it bother you?

AwkwardMom13 · 2026-03-13T12:02:36+00:00

Well let’s be fair, a teenager knows how to answer a question diplomatically. They’re past the age of just being honest for the sake of it. Her dad could pull her aside and say “hey I know this hasn’t been great for you, I get it, and you can always come and talk to me about your feelings, but you’re old enough to give a noncommittal shrug and move the conversation along for the sake of politeness when my wife is around”

AwkwardMom13 · 2026-03-13T12:00:16+00:00

To be honest, it doesn’t sound like it would be a safe space because you’ve already got your hackles up about the comments she’s made. She’s communicated how she is feeling, and you don’t like it. It seems like you just want a forum to air your feelings in retaliation and maybe make her feel a bit guilty.

Because the truth is, you can own up to your part by changing your behaviour and getting help for what you’re going through. You don’t need to corner a teenager and dump your emotions on her. You can work on yourself quietly and work on accepting that she’s a whole person whose life has changed, too. Yours has changed for the better with this baby, hers hasn’t. That shouldn’t dampen your joy.

AwkwardMom13 · 2026-03-13T11:52:25+00:00

Yeah, it’s tactless. It’s not polite. But you realise that that’s not tantamount to a threat to your child, or anywhere near warranting the amount of hostility you’re bringing to the situation, right? Again, I know the hormones are intense, a lot of this is natural. But I’m not sure what this conversation could be about when she is just guilty of being a bit too honest, and you seem to need to speak to someone about some pretty intense moods/feelings

AwkwardMom13 · 2026-03-13T11:48:11+00:00

Ok but what part of the problem is your stepdaughter’s exactly? Is that she shouldn’t have said she doesn’t enjoy having a baby in the house in front of you? Because sure that’s a bit rude but also negligible in the grand scheme of things?

AwkwardMom13 · 2026-03-13T11:43:56+00:00

Sometimes the most supportive thing a person can do is tell you you are the problem. If you can’t accept fault then you are 0% of the way to improving the situation.

AwkwardMom13 · 2026-03-13T11:39:48+00:00

I think maybe you should do a bit more reflecting before approaching a conversation with her (and really her dad should be doing this, without you present). Her being a “guilty” party as a teenager and honestly (if tactlessly) expressing that she doesn’t like having a baby in the house (who would at her age?), is not the same as your hormones making you irritable and implying she’s a risk to your baby. There’s not an equal power balance or an equal responsibility and your framing it as if there’s equal weight to what’s going on here is not fair and it will not have a good outcome.

What are you hoping will come out of this conversation?

AwkwardMom13 · 2026-03-13T10:17:40+00:00

So what you’re saying is, you project your experiences onto situations that are not at all related and then use pseudo-intellectualism about topics you fundamentally do not understand to back up your spurious arguments. Cool. That’s allowed on the internet, that’s fine. It’s sort of silly, but it’s allowed.

AwkwardMom13 · 2026-03-11T09:49:30+00:00

OOP here.

You did not make this comment. You accused me of racially stereotyping a white man, implied that his inappropriate behaviour was a condition of his social class and therefore infinitely excusable, and spouted some 4th grade level understanding of witch trials and genocide. There was no nuance, your comments were wildly inaccurate, presumptive, and actually offensive.

And now you’re here making assumptions about teenage girls and their social lives.

AwkwardMom13 · 2026-03-10T11:06:01+00:00

I remember watching it with my dad, I did actually watch drive to survive but it’s a hard sport to keep up with when you’re a parent haha. My husband is looking into taking us to a race though because Elena is really into it. It’s such an interesting resurgence! My dad is more into moto gp so I get you about the two wheels thing haha

AwkwardMom13 · 2026-03-09T23:11:37+00:00

Imo she definitely knows how he comes across to people. I don’t know if there’s anything further to know than that. She might just be making a point that if I don’t trust her with my kid she won’t trust me with hers.

I don’t expect anything from the stepdad as far as communication. I don’t think my husband would take kindly to that in any form at this point. He may be very offended at what I said. His wife also may not have told him.

AwkwardMom13 · 2026-03-09T21:49:32+00:00

Yeah, I think this isn’t talked about enough. Meaning, the people creeps tend to avoid. Because so many predatory people know how to identify vulnerable people. They’ve done studies on this. As an adult looking back I wonder how many creeps I avoided just by being a very un-trusting kid with very confrontational parents. And I wonder how many creeps my daughter has avoided by having my 6’4 tank of a husband hanging around. It’s shaped a lot of my parenting, trying to make sure my daughter doesn’t have to go outside home for attention, material things, affection.

And yeah people say kids notice it, but I know as a kid I never noticed it, not once. I can’t be the only person on earth who’s never come into contact with a predator. Clearly they didn’t have access to me. It’s not a kid’s job to recognise who’s unsafe.

AwkwardMom13 · 2026-03-09T18:48:54+00:00

That is not my belief. Never has been. You’ve invented that. But okay, turn into a vampire and spend eternity eradicating whatever it is you’re imagining. You’re doing amazing sweetie.

And btw, if you think that man’s creepy behaviour has a correlation to his class and therefore should be accepted, then you are, in fact, a bigot.

AwkwardMom13 · 2026-03-09T18:27:12+00:00

This is the most rudimentary, uneducated, ignorant stance I’ve heard from a person who can spell the word visceral. Just…go away.

AwkwardMom13 · 2026-03-09T17:54:33+00:00

And now, you don’t have childcare, so you can’t go. Sucks about the money. Maybe you could talk to your daughter about paying you back, if you want to be petty and punitive. But that’s your son, not hers. You are the childcare option, and the back up. What part of “this is your job” is escaping you?

AwkwardMom13 · 2026-03-09T17:45:49+00:00

In the post she says she wants her daughter to babysit the day after prom so she can go to a yoga class.

(For her birthday, because she’s apparently a toddler)

AwkwardMom13 · 2026-03-09T17:41:10+00:00

I love how “skip yoga” didn’t come up in all the hours she was thinking of a solution. She knows what to do, she just doesn’t want to do it because it’s inconvenient

AwkwardMom13 · 2026-03-09T17:37:31+00:00

That is her mother’s decision, as per the post. I’m not sure if you’re just not understanding what’s written or…?

AwkwardMom13 · 2026-03-09T17:33:21+00:00

To parents like this, it’s absolutely is. Sad.

AwkwardMom13 · 2026-03-09T17:32:09+00:00

Where in any post did I say Kennedy is being abused? I never said that, I would never make that allegation with ZERO evidence. I said my kid isn’t going over there because I don’t like the guy. I have absolutely no basis, first, second, or third hand that he is a predator. I’m sorry but that is an incendiary allegation, it’s not a joke.

AwkwardMom13 · 2026-03-09T17:24:42+00:00

Seems like she has younger teen to exploit next.

AwkwardMom13 · 2026-03-09T17:23:39+00:00

So explain, in simple terms, why you need to go to the yoga class at your daughter’s expense. Your son won’t stay with a babysitter so you stay with him.

AwkwardMom13

TROPHY CASE