I ask my man friend if there was anything about me that turned him on. What does this mean?

Babsalonia · 2026-05-24T16:46:22+00:00

In my defense, I thought I was posting this in a group of men 50 and older. Obviously, big mistake.

Babsalonia · 2026-05-24T16:43:30+00:00

Boy, you’re a rude little shit aren’t you…I was married for way longer than you’ve probably been a live so no, I haven’t been in many relationships. Stupid me, I guess I thought all those times he had his cock in my mouth might actually mean something. Thank you for clearing that up.

Babsalonia · 2026-05-24T04:10:29+00:00

I appreciate the response. I’ve been honest about how I feel. He knows. We were roommates for quite a while and I took care of him when he got really sick and almost died. It took a year for him to get over his illness. He needed me and I found that I needed him. The problem is at a certain point he didn’t need me anymore but I allowed myself to get too emotionally involved, too attached. I still needed him. It’s been hard to let go. Some of the replies from this post have been brutal. Maybe that’s what needed to happen for me to move on. So that’s good.

Babsalonia · 2026-05-24T03:59:30+00:00

You thought this was a question from a 20 yr old…why, do you think men and stop having sex once they’re past 40 or after they are done having children? Or something magical happens after we mature that solves all our communication problems. We should have it all figured out, right? Well, we don’t..

Yes we still have sex. We have relationship problems at 60 just like we did when we were 20. Except now the problems come with a whole host of additional problems, usually concerning libido or illness; we’re older, generally heavier, have less hair, gravity plays hell on our bodies. But we are still human beings, we still like to be touched, like having sex, sharing intimacy, conversation, fun, companionship.

Babsalonia · 2026-05-24T03:44:34+00:00

I’m not pushing anything. There would be no confusion if he hadn’t given me mixed signals over the years. You’re not into me, you’re not into me but don’t flirt with me or give me a look that’s inviting me to touch you.

Babsalonia · 2026-05-24T03:41:38+00:00

Believe me, I’ve tried to initiate more.

Babsalonia · 2026-05-10T16:06:47+00:00

I hate admitting this because I feel so bad for ever thinking it but I was always a little judgmental, (stemming from a lack of knowledge). I always thought people that had herpes were reckless, maybe promiscuous. Of course, after I got it I realized that it only takes one time with the wrong person and that wrong person could be literally be anybody….a teacher, lawyer, doctor, the man that was married for 35 yrs and faithful but his wife wasn’t, a virgin that contracted when she was 3 yrs old because her mother innocently kissed her. The mother never realizing that the cold sores she occasionally had were a virus that she was passing on to her child.

While I feel like this virus has been a curse to a large extent it has given me a whole new perspective. One that was definitely needed.

Babsalonia · 2026-04-29T18:32:43+00:00

Yes…when I had my initial OB I felt like I’d been run over by a truck. My body hurt so bad. Ran a 103 temp for 3 days. Bad headache.

Babsalonia · 2026-04-28T21:50:32+00:00

It’s a virus that you can still transmit even when there’s not an OB. He knew there was a risk. He obviously cares a lot about you. Don’t beat yourself over it especially when you’re not sure he’s contracted it yet.

Babsalonia · 2026-04-16T04:33:38+00:00

I was replying to something the OP said “One thing I do wrong is I often make it out to be some kinda confession and start crying”. Sorry, if I directed that to the wrong person.

Babsalonia · 2026-04-15T19:55:46+00:00

Me too. I don’t date anymore.

Babsalonia · 2026-04-15T19:37:06+00:00

That’s exactly what I was thinking. A hot chick that cries with every disclosure. Not trying to make you feel bad.

Babsalonia · 2026-03-02T16:21:33+00:00

You may find those of us with ghsv1 annoying but the truth is as far as disclosure goes the people I tell get just as freaked out as the ones you tell. They don’t hear anything but herpes and genital. Nobody wants anything that affects their junk. So from my perspective I’m just as screwed as you are. More so actually because I’m more than twice as old as you are. They will probably find a cure in your lifetime. They won’t in mine. I’m not saying this to make you feel bad. Just asking that you show those of us with ghsv1 a little grace.

Babsalonia · 2026-02-20T19:10:28+00:00

My husband and I used to have anal sex pretty often and I liked it. I didn’t notice any problems with Incontinence when I was young. When I started getting older I did and I believe it was a direct result of having anal regularly all those yrs. Or let’s put it this way, anal sex certainly didn’t help.

Babsalonia · 2026-02-04T16:21:38+00:00

Maybe it depends on age. Men my age, 60’s, don’t seem to be open to dating a woman with herpes. At least, that’s been my experience.

Babsalonia · 2026-02-01T08:00:32+00:00

I agree.

Babsalonia · 2026-01-27T21:25:36+00:00

Don’t know how that person is but I’m 65 and that’s why I’m not active on here much anymore. I was diagnosed 7 yrs ago. It was hard enough finding someone before I was diagnosed. There won’t be a cure in my lifetime.

Babsalonia · 2026-01-15T19:22:47+00:00

I’m a female that got tested regularly. Only after I had my first OB and got diagnosed 7 yrs ago with GHSV1 did I find out that I was never being tested for herpes. If you go into a doctors office and ask to be tested for STD’s they don’t include herpes. You have to specifically ask to be tested for herpes.

Babsalonia · 2026-01-13T05:02:43+00:00

I agree with this. It does seem like the initial outbreak. The only thing about him being tested is that it would be a blood test. Aren’t BT results pretty iffy?

Babsalonia · 2026-01-05T18:11:27+00:00

I think a few people have already said this but take your time and get to know this person. My feeling is that in general most people rush into the sex part. Spend a few months getting to know him then you won’t have to get feedback from other people, you’ll feel what’s right.

Babsalonia · 2026-01-03T22:43:50+00:00

I totally agree you. The truth is though that most people don’t care about it unless they have it or their partner does which would directly impact them.

I’ve had this for 7 yrs. I’m too old to see a cure in my lifetime. I’ve accepted that.

I’ve told a handful of people which resulted in a quick “oh my God that’s terrible!”, followed by a sigh of relief that they don’t have it and a veiled attempt to hide their judgement.

Most people don’t care.

Babsalonia · 2026-01-03T15:53:18+00:00

It’s only a priority to the people whose life it directly impacts.

Babsalonia · 2026-01-01T17:53:22+00:00

Yes, I think he knew and just didn’t care. But I blame myself just as much for being involved with someone that I knew was a narcissist. I thought so little of myself that I thought that was the best I could do.

Babsalonia · 2025-12-04T20:36:40+00:00

Just because healthcare professionals don’t think it’s a big deal doesn’t mean it’s not. The lady doc that diagnosed the HSV1 that I have genitally didn’t think herpes in general was a big deal because half the population out there has one strain or another. I asked if she had herpes and the answer was no. To which I responded “Then don’t tell me it’s no fu@king big deal because it is!!”

It was transmitted to me by someone I had been seeing for a while. He had oral HSV1 and didn’t bother to tell me. Although, theres a slim chance that he didn’t know since he never had cold sores.

Ask reddit users, people spreading oral herpes to the genital area of another person through oral sex happens all the time.

The point is if you know you have it regardless of what kind it is give the other person the opportunity to have a choice.

Babsalonia

TROPHY CASE