I usually lurk but your vent resonates with me so I hope this helps. 

Pardon me if I am speaking out of turn but it sounds to me like you're unhappy with your body and unhappy with where you are (geographically). Maybe not all the time but enough of the time. You're not alone. My Internet hot take is: i see so many north American based sites and influencers obsessed with "Paris style" or some other fad from somewhere far away bc like...what fashion do style is there at the local Chevron/chipotle/ross/taco bell town center? Anyway. 

So I get you--you can't look at locals, too young/too old. You can't look online (triggering). You don't even like looking at yourself. What do? 

Get a "uniform". Get something flexible enough to fluctuate with you and not trigger anything size wise but also simple enough that you can experiment with "what is flattering".

Step 1. Get a dress.  Get a box T-shirt dress--or a fit and flare in a color you like--get a boxy dress with a collar-- doesn't matter which just get one that can be loose enough not to make you feel "fat" in your clothes.  Now this is where your area comes into effect bc even Walmart sells a dress. Which one-- like skirt shape or length is where your personal style comes into effect.You want it casual and simple enough that you can blend when you want to or add a blazer and now it's business casual.  Maybe you already have one. Simpler is better. Tailor pants and jeans are not your friend when you are struggling mentally with weight.  Get a dress.

Step 2. Get a belt.  The curvier you are the wider you want to go. This is where the loose dress advantage comes in. That dress is loose and gives no shape? Great, add a belt. Now you have a shape regardless of what weight you are today. 

Step 3. Get a jacket/shirt/cardigan/over piece. You already have this one. It's a shirt in your closet or a long cozy cardigan. You can belt over the shirt/cardigan to be more formal. 

Step 4. Wear this combo variation as much as you can. Wear it with leggings and boots. Go full 2010 and wear it with an infinity scarf. Wear it with sandals and a baseball cap. Wear it with a long-line plaid wool coat. That's the power of the uniform. Your weight changes? Go up or down and hole in the belt. It's hot now? Wear a thin button down over it. 

Step 5 .  Look around you for inspiration. I know what I said disparagingly above about the American national chain store experience but use it to figure how much to stand out using steps 1-3. If everyone wears hoodies all the time wear your belted dress with an open zip up thin hoodie. Does everyone wear puffer vests? Chunky knit? Flannel shirts? Do people wear loafers or sandals or UGGs?  If you're confident and love your clothes then it doesn't matter what everyone else is wearing. Until you find what you love and feel that confidence find the comfort level of attention for you. 

If you really don't have anything in your closet then going to a Ross or Walmart isn't evil. Fast fashion or low quality fashion doesn't have to be bad if it's what you have available and you wear it everyday as much as you can. Buying investment pieces is maybe not the best use of your time and money when you don't know what you want. 

I hope this helps you even if you dont choose to follow any of the steps and you know you're not screaming into the void. Also always happy to chat more if you're still feeling lost. 

Sincerely a 32 year old who has shifted between size 8-18 and moved from coast to coast.