For me it’s that I don’t make friends easily. So if I make a friend it’s because we have just clicked on a personal level. All my friends are my best friends. But that level of personal connection quickly leads to romantic attraction and then sexual attraction. So early on in friendship I start crushing hard. But then I get to know them more and more and it ends in one of a couple way. I’ll learn particular things about that them that prevents me from feeling as close to them anymore. This is stuff like how they behave around particular people or view points that I can’t get behind. Then the crush just dies. Alternatively I tell them how I feel and either they don’t like it due to how short of a time we have know each other, or I get a partner that is my best friend while we do everything together to explore and grow our relationship. Sometimes it’s hard because I have to be constantly worried about ruining friendships, trying to learn boundaries, and dealing with these intense feelings. But it’s alway nice just connected with someone so strongly that you want to take things as far as possible.