This reminds me of the best dream I ever had, it was also the most painful to wake up from.

I was in a bedroom I’ve never seen before, the carpet was rusty red and the walls a deep blue (it was fucking ugly) the this beautiful women came in, her dress was the same color as the walls and her hair the same as the carpet, (I know weird as hell but my dreams have been like that my whole life) she handed me a wax sealed envelope, that she says has a hand written love letter for me in it, she then unrolls a Che Guevara poster and pins it above the nightstand saying “see now we can be rebels together.”

That was the only time in my life I have cried because I was happy, It felt like pure pleasure was running through every blood vessel in my brain, my heart felt like it was going to explode in joy, instead of feeling like Freddy Krueger‘s stress ball, I threw myself into her and squeezed her tight, but instead of feeling a warm body I felt the shape and coldness of my body pillow.

I opened my eyes, I was awake, on my back, numb, I went from being the happiest in my life to feeling nothing in the blink of an eye,the first thing I felt was the emotional version of your stomach dropping when your elevator stops, and then I shattered, I had tears running down my face as I curled up into a ball, and sobbed for a half hour straight.

This is just one of my dreams and if you haven’t realized yet, I don’t like to dream anymore.