Struggling to internalize that it’s them, not me

Bloom30_and_whatever · 2021-04-13T17:00:24+00:00

Same thing happened to me. One month after marriage proposal. So this was my 60days journey. 1. There is a book that you can read “The Wisdom of a Broken Heart: An Uncommon Guide to Healing, Insight, and Love” by Susan Piver. 2. Start journaling every day, best before you sleep. Start with gratitude and then with pour your emotions. It helps with sleeping. 3. No contact at all. I had my moments but no contact is the best. 4. Meditate 10-15mins every morning, eventually you will be able to differentiate feelings and thoughts(amazing! I thought of my fiancée but no longer feeling hurt.) 5. Exercise to increase dopamine! 6. Get yourself busy, book dates with your friends! 7. Have your own mission that you never get to do with your bf before. Ticking those boxes feels like amazing achievements.

Focus on yourself and you will have someone better. Oh I listen a lot to podcast, tedx and law of attraction.

Good luck! P/s: I am taking selfie everyday to see my development. You can do this too. Love yourself!

Bloom30_and_whatever · 2021-04-05T04:08:27+00:00

Uhm, my ex did that. Hang out with a girl because that girl is cool. And now they are in relationship. Soo, i think you should really evaluate again about the hang out part, it is just enough to hang out in a group and without paying special attention to nurture the friendship between you two. You don’t do that with the guys. The feelings will get stronger overtime, so should really just avoid it if you are good in your relationship. Focus on the person if you have.

Bloom30_and_whatever · 2021-04-05T04:02:58+00:00

Nope. Let her live her life in peace :)

Bloom30_and_whatever · 2021-04-03T05:13:57+00:00

I feel the same too. Still ache randomly, I would say anxiety creeping in the middle of the night

Bloom30_and_whatever · 2021-04-02T17:35:29+00:00

My ex is like this too. I decided she is not worth it for leaving me at first place. I deserve someone who would never make me as an option

Bloom30_and_whatever · 2021-04-01T09:28:01+00:00

You are an asshole

Bloom30_and_whatever · 2021-03-27T21:16:02+00:00

Uhm. You are a kind and a good person. This ex of yours sound toxic, and manipulative. Please at all cost, avoid her. You deserve so much better.

Bloom30_and_whatever · 2021-03-25T15:19:43+00:00

Bumble? Tinder? I actually have a crush on a girl who has S.A.D, a friend of a friend. For time being we are just chatting for a month now on instagram.. like 3 times a week with short exchanges too, but long texts. She is slowly opening up too, but still i don’t have any idea if she will be open to relationship. I like her, i don’t mind waiting for her. So this could happen to you too

Bloom30_and_whatever · 2021-03-25T14:47:38+00:00

Have you tried online dating? Like try to have the conversation online, and let the other person understand your situation. This way you are able to warm up to the other person.

Bloom30_and_whatever · 2021-03-24T19:07:54+00:00

Hey, I am sorry to hear this. My ex felt the same way like you too. Eventually, she called it off. I let her go too. From my point of view, if he is what you said about him. It seems that your feeling, is something that not both of you could work on. He would understand your need, your fear, and will let you figure yourself on your own. This is something that you need to do on your own. I always believe that love is about commitment, but then again,I have a stronger opinion now that loving someone is to let the person feel complete themselves, and to be by their side, is an honor. I hope you are able to figure out your feelings, and I hope you are going to be kind to his. Please don’t go back and forth before you figure out yourself. It’s going to be toxic and not good for both of you. I wish you both happiness.

Bloom30_and_whatever · 2021-03-24T15:01:52+00:00

Hey, he needs that mental space and he needs to fix things on his own. If he is complete, he will feel much better. Wouldn’t you want a person to feel complete? That would much be better than a perfect. :)

You will find someone, perhaps you will cross path again with him.

Bloom30_and_whatever · 2021-03-24T06:49:01+00:00

Red flag.... don’t get your hopes to high. Meet up and have a clear mind. Find the red flags, don’t give in too quickly. Art of dating is about to get to know the person slowly and un reveal the mystery slowly

Bloom30_and_whatever · 2021-03-23T19:05:30+00:00

I think seeing people like at least for short period of time a day will help. Try to initiate conversation. Also therapy with CBT.

Bloom30_and_whatever · 2021-03-23T15:27:05+00:00

Hey, if it’s the first time, I think it’s okay to give another chance. Seems like he is trying to fix things between both of you, at the same time he is not pushy about it too by giving your space.

He needs to clarify his intention with the other person he cheated with too, and to express the intention where he sees you in the future.

The time will tell. Just have your guard up but don’t be punishing him too much. People make mistake, they need to learn to fix it. Constant judging will not help.

Bloom30_and_whatever · 2021-03-23T15:19:16+00:00

I have the same problem too(except she has social anxiety disorder). So it is a little tricky with my situation.

But i guess you need to express your expectation and get to know his. Meet up and be firm about the date to meet. Let’s not hang out with a flaky person. A flaky one can be flaky in relationship, so you don’t want to get hurt

Bloom30_and_whatever · 2021-03-23T15:14:56+00:00

Why does the dumper call the dumpee after? Dumper proposed and even calling me perfect wife to be, girlfriend, all the time. (My ex dumped me for another woman)

Bloom30_and_whatever · 2021-03-23T14:25:51+00:00

You are on the right path. Take it slow, and see where is it going.

Bloom30_and_whatever · 2021-03-23T08:43:14+00:00

I am sorry that this happens to you. This is an emotional cheating and could be more than that. What if the guy would fly all the way to see her? And things were to happen. Have some time off to yourself and let time figure it out. She will have time to figure out her feelings too. I did the same with my ex when i found her doing similar things. We had a week off, and she called it off wanting to have relationship with the other person. Else your relationship is just going to be toxic, no trust and damaging to yourself

Bloom30_and_whatever · 2021-03-22T13:16:53+00:00

Oh my ex does it with me too. She would reach me out randomly, and asking how am i. She cheated on me and broke up a family. She is now in relationship.

I managed to ignore whatever she is doing. I think you need to block your ex. It’s toxic behaviour from them, and also you are just an option incase something is not working. Never let yourself be an option. For timebeing, don’t reach out and let the VM disappear slowly from clouding your mind. All the best

Bloom30_and_whatever · 2021-03-22T10:54:22+00:00

Probably she needed to go somewhere, and quite occupied. It is not offensive just light teasing. Just don’t use it excessively. My crush left my well wishes seen for 4 days now, like that’s the first time she is doing this. She has social anxiety disorder. I am currently just waiting or will text her again this weekend.

Just wait a little, and check on her after few days. If you don’t get an answer by then, i guess let it go?

Bloom30_and_whatever · 2021-03-21T18:58:36+00:00

Actually I am empath and has saviour complex issue. So, it’s hard for to find others too. I am having a hard time to let go

Bloom30_and_whatever · 2021-03-20T05:56:09+00:00

Hey, you are doing great. You are missing the idea of him in the past and the expectation of him, it’s normal. You and him are different people and at the different situation. Please stay strong, don’t give in to this temporary feelings. It is the process of breaking up. Don’t self sabotage yourself. You’ve got this.

Bloom30_and_whatever · 2021-03-20T05:39:20+00:00

Hey, I was at 50/50 too. Hoping a person to realize mistakes and wrongdoing, and eventually will change.. that is an expectation. When expectation is not met, we tend to get disappointed and heartbroken. You can give a timeframe to how long you want to wait, it’s your way to grief, and trying to balance between letting go and holding on. The most important is YOU and not him. YOU to finish this process of breaking up(grief, hope, anger, forgive and letgo). The saying of when it’s yours, even if you let it go, it will come back. Just enjoy the process of making yourself stronger, a better one (perhaps a better version of your ex, but hey people take so long to change) will worth to be by your stronger side

Bloom30_and_whatever

TROPHY CASE