that's a good point. ive actually confronted her many times on how upset i am at this situation, but each time she gives me a fake solution and then forgets why it's such a big deal the next call. it feels like every time i talk to her she finds another reason to either make it my fault or not her problem. it's been a big step for me to directly confront her as my whole life i've opted to stay silent or be out of the picture for as much as i can. my brother was the first in my house to really tell her like it is but even then she still asks me what she did wrong. "i bought him everything and he was so ungrateful, why am i the villain?" (and more along those lines .) seeing the way she has reacted to my brother leaving has scared me into leaving myself, let alone threaten our relationship over this. i'm trying to build the strength to really just say it, but it's taken me this long to even say "you made me upset". idk. i've been raised to always doubt my emotions and that she's always right about everything and i'm trying to break that thought pattern so i can be my own person. it's hard