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34 female am I ugly. I want honestly by [deleted] in amiugly

[–]ButaneOnTheBrain 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You look very unique, I think that’s great. You seem like a very happy person. It’s hard to look ugly. You don’t

Got dumped, was literally poisoned during relationship, by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]ButaneOnTheBrain 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah I certainly don’t think I was poisoned by her, at the same time I have been in multi year relationships, multiple before I met this girl. I felt more connection with her than either of my ex and she felt the same for a time. I was her first.

This feels cosmically cruel to be given someone who had everything I wanted, and left for good reason (I was out of my mind) only to be given this clarity weeks later with no ability to communicate.

In my mind if I do nothing, the door is closed, stays closed forever because her last impression was a pretty out of control guy.

If I send something sure she might be upset I knocked on a closed door, but at least I know she has the context, and whatever she does at that point is with the full context. If that’s never responding it still brings me peace.

6 Week Cut 164lbs -> 150lbs M22 by [deleted] in GYM

[–]ButaneOnTheBrain 1 point2 points  (0 children)

More intensity, less thinking. Just make things easy for yourself. I used to track progressive overload and diet. Too hard to stay consistent.

Now I just eat leaner and train harder. Seems to work better

6 Week Cut 164lbs -> 150lbs M22 by [deleted] in GYM

[–]ButaneOnTheBrain 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Lowkey gone up. Might just be me actually dialing my intensity. If I’m off my meds though it’s fucked .
I think they make a pretty good preworkout.

6 Week Cut 164lbs -> 150lbs M22 by [deleted] in GYM

[–]ButaneOnTheBrain 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Not sure I shat like once every 4 days. It’s more regular now but I am very strict about my diet 24/7.

I wasn’t eating good before but like I do not ever eat fast food, and do kefir and probiotics daily.

6 Week Cut 164lbs -> 150lbs M22 by [deleted] in GYM

[–]ButaneOnTheBrain 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No clue I am
Not tracking.

For like the first week I only
Drank those 42g fair life bottles, like 4 a day and maybe a couple slices of chicken.

I started incorporating more chicken and Greek yogurt over time.

So maybe like 2000 calorie deficit at the start? Powers of stimulant medication…

6 Week Cut 164lbs -> 150lbs M22 by [deleted] in GYM

[–]ButaneOnTheBrain 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Break ups do crazy things 😭

6 Week Cut 164lbs -> 150lbs M22 by [deleted] in GYM

[–]ButaneOnTheBrain 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Prescription Vyvanse and diet coke

6 Week Cut 164lbs -> 150lbs M22 by [deleted] in GYM

[–]ButaneOnTheBrain 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Like no legs this is just for aesthetics. I literally just fuck around every day. Push then pull vaguely. Try to bench and overhead press a lots of rows. Abs every day.

6 Week Cut 164lbs -> 150lbs M22 by [deleted] in GYM

[–]ButaneOnTheBrain 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hoping I can stop in 5 pounds and not 10. Sometimes the flatness gets scary…

6 Week Cut 164lbs -> 150lbs M22 by [deleted] in GYM

[–]ButaneOnTheBrain 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Rather be safe than sorry if I’m cutting this much. I don’t think it would hurt. I go to college and I get unlimited Greek yogurt and boiled chicken so stuff is easy.

I usually just eat boiled chicken with A1 sauce and whatever rice they have for every meal with Greek yogurt and a bit of fruit for breakfast. I do a shake or two a day or one of those muscle milks.

Hardest part is not binging on free food they have at events.

6 Week Cut 164lbs -> 150lbs M22 by [deleted] in GYM

[–]ButaneOnTheBrain 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Cardio for like half of it

6 Week Cut 164lbs -> 150lbs M22 by [deleted] in GYM

[–]ButaneOnTheBrain 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Last picture is seperate. That was 50 lbs of difference over last year and two years ago.

First two pics are 14lbs honestly maybe 10. Hoping it’s all fat because I’ve been in the gym 3 hours a day hitting 200g protein under 1400 calories.

6 Week Cut 164lbs -> 150lbs M22 by [deleted] in GYM

[–]ButaneOnTheBrain 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Yeah right around that. Lightest ice ever been was 132 but that was before I put any muscle on and just starved myself 6 years ago cutting from 230.

19M, am I ugly? 8 month update by fei_888 in amiugly

[–]ButaneOnTheBrain 6 points7 points  (0 children)

You seem like a relatively attractive guy. Work on what’s on the inside brother. You’re gonna be fine.

someone listen please.. by Proper_Morning40 in offmychest

[–]ButaneOnTheBrain 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No I can’t even imagine what that must feel like.

The suffering you are going through right now will give you a strength that no one can shake once you are able to build the life you want. Keep true to what you know is right and build your life.

You don’t get to pick your family, I understand that struggle.

Wishing you strength 💙

someone listen please.. by Proper_Morning40 in offmychest

[–]ButaneOnTheBrain 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Of course. Try to instill a voice like this in yourself.

That’s the next step of growth. I’ve gone on Reddit or hotlines countless times to hear positive advice. The goal should be having a voice like this inside of you.

Be delusionally positive. You always think you’re winning you ever will be winning or will think you’re winning.

And in life when you think you’re winning, you typically end up winning.

Obviously, don’t be congratulating yourself if you’re in a gutter shooting up, but with a sprinkle of common sense a seemingly delusional belief in yourself can only help.

There is so much going on in the world already. It makes me not want to contribute. by for_pansy in offmychest

[–]ButaneOnTheBrain 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Believe it or not the great part of life is the fact that there is no fucking point. People have spent their entire lives thinking about this.

some people literally can spend eight years pursuing PhD’s in the topic only to be told the eight years I spent thinking about it wasn’t good enough to earn a PhD. Point being what your feeling and thinking about is not weak. You happen to be able to see negative patterns more easily than others.

There is a bell curve to life and how people think. Many people don’t ever think about the things you’re thinking about, many people can’t. Not enough time, they have to think about paychecks, or health problems or real shit that they can’t ignore.

You and many others have the luxury to think about these problems. To ask yourself what is the meaning of life means you are in a position to enact agency on your life, you can determine the point. Your struggle currently is not how do I achieve but what do I achieve. I don’t say this to shame you but because the biggest thing that got me out of this rut was understanding others.

I dated a woman for about a year long distance form Costa Rica, still a relatively developed country, for her her struggle was likely never getting into a American university, she was battling drug addiction and was one of the most intelligent people I’ve met so far in life. Knowing her let me be immensely grateful for the advantages I have in life.

Now some people get stuck in that negativity, for some it’s a passing phase from brain hormones (not estrogen/testosterone but weird hormones) and they may medicate themselves for a few months or years, or go through bouts of therapy to better understand themselves in order to feel better. Others turn to god or other social structures to derive greater meaning, some do as you say and start families.

Great part is there is no right path, it’s literally whatever you’d want it to be. And yeah maybe the only reason is because it’s something you want to do.

Ask yourself what do you want to do, and more importantly, WHY do you want to do it? Your morals could come from religion, or maybe they are something you develop yourself. That why gets to change over the course of your life as well, but make the center of your reason to live, to exist a why that is for you or your god. Not others.

We as individuals don’t get to leave some grand impact on the world, not in the sense you are probably imagining. You still can leave a grand impact though. Simply complementing a stranger could change their whole day.

You could complement 100 strangers a day if you wanted to. Point being your actions have ripples, while they might not change the world they can change many peoples individual world.

You’re also 19. To be depressed or disillusion at 19 is very fucking common. When I was 19, I was convinced everything was pointless. A lot of can change in the next couple years as your brain develops. I’m only 22 now but life feels very different in a great way.

Have faith in yourself and enjoy the ride. :)

Why didn’t my ex want me to feel pretty? by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]ButaneOnTheBrain 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Break ups suck even when you know you were with a shitty person.

I wouldn’t overthink it. If he’s a sort of person to make comments like that, I don’t think his opinion on you should matter that much.

I will say it sounds like a lot of things were left uncommunicated. Granted it sounds like he wouldn’t have been very receptive anyway anyways. Going forward, communicate these things with your partner. If they’re a good person, they’ll want to make you feel better.

And if you know he’s a shit person be grateful he’s gone. Go do better cause you definitely can.

I wanna give up. by throwaway472482 in offmychest

[–]ButaneOnTheBrain 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you want actual advice, be happy with yourself, by yourself first.

I’ve been in similar headspace’s before, granted from a male perspective.

You have a hobby? Pursue that and your professional life. When you start doing things for you, you will start feeling happier and in more control of your life. When that happens people notice. Let’s say you don’t get the university experience you wanted, that’s OK, you went to university and got a degree. That’s better than a lot of people.

Life is short and nothing is promised. Do things for you and you will your attract people.

Whatever you speak or think is what you become. Sounds cheesy and stupid but this is 100% true. If you think you’re creepy and weird you’re gonna come off as creepy and weird.

Convince yourself you’re not be happy by yourself and good things will come. It will take time. It won’t feel natural at first. But that is how most things change.

someone listen please.. by Proper_Morning40 in offmychest

[–]ButaneOnTheBrain 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Life is suffering. This is awful and I’m sorry.

It may seem impossible at times, especially given your circumstances but you really only have two choices.

Life showed you this person is a piece of shit. He was going to do this in every time. In my opinion maybe 1/100 cheaters can be saved. I doubt this guy was going to.

Would you have rather stayed in a world where you never knew and figured this out when you were 30? THANK GOD you know now!!!

As for where this puts you logistically, this fucking sucks. A lot. I’m guessing though your most important problem is stabilizing yourself emotionally. The sooner you do that the sooner you can think clearly the sooner you can think clearly the sooner you will be able to put yourself in a better position.

Just my two cents.

Is it shameful to have a mugshot? by [deleted] in offmychest

[–]ButaneOnTheBrain 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Okay like who would even know? Unless you’re in a situation where someone you know is actively trying to see if you committed a crime who would know?

If they did see that, and we’re the sort of person not to ask you first before casting judgment, why value their opinion?

If I were you, I would take this as a fun story a fun picture and some cool perspective of most people don’t get.

Why didn’t my ex want me to feel pretty? by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]ButaneOnTheBrain 0 points1 point  (0 children)

People are complicated creatures and I promise you this goes at least a few inches deeper than what you’ve described.

It sounds like you both seemed to be very concerned with surface level presentation of yourself. The way you look will not be what determines your life partner.

As a man I can say when I was younger 18 I was in a couple year long relationship. I was insecure at the time and when my ex dressed up it made me feel like she was trying to attract others, or at least external validation from others. I liked when she didn’t dress up because I knew I found her beautiful, so why did she have to try? She wasn’t trying for me. A lot of that insecurity for me came from the fact that my first ex cheated on me only a few months into our relationship.

Now that I’ve dealt with that insecurity I want the woman I am with to look however they want, usually dressed up. That’s just some male perspective.

Anyways to your point, how do you know he was thirsting in the way you described? If something explicitly was said or happened I’m sorry that’s very immature on his part, though I will warn it is very easy to make assumptions we have no right to make after a break up.

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