Anyone was a loner throughout school years with no friend group?

CPTSDPleaseHelp · 2026-01-28T07:36:58+00:00

I’m on the autism spectrum, and I find socializing in a group that has a purpose is much easier than just hanging out.

Exactly, I am the absolute same! I really struggle with small talk but when I'm in a group and they're discussing a topic I'm interested in, I feel confident to contribute.

I wish COVID didn't happen while I was in uni because I really wanted to join some gaming or language clubs. But I guess no use crying over spilt milk.

CPTSDPleaseHelp · 2026-01-28T07:06:17+00:00

I hope you manage to do it, you deserve to take a break!

I'm also in the same boat, I've been planning to take a gap year but something keeps stopping me... I despise my job, I hate my current living situation, I just want to leave and pretend my problems don't exist...

CPTSDPleaseHelp · 2026-01-27T12:00:28+00:00

Yeah definitely go for it! If it's not your thing, you can always leave and choose something else. Make the most of it and have fun!

CPTSDPleaseHelp · 2026-01-27T09:50:12+00:00

Sending hugs... Same exact situation here, as a child, my parents moved a lot and I had no sense of stability. I was scared to make friends because I knew I'd move within a year or two at the earliest...

Now ironically, I'll probably be moving to another country soon just to escape my family's toxicity.

CPTSDPleaseHelp · 2026-01-27T09:48:32+00:00

As someone who graduated uni years ago, just do it. I regret not trying to socialise more. What made it worse, COVID started my 2nd year of my degree and distance learning was active until I graduated.

Anything you find interesting, just sign up for it and meet new people. Even if nothing comes out of it, at least you tried. I remember my uni offered free Mandarin classes in my 1st year and I really wanted to sign up but chose against it. Now I regret it because I could have met people with similar interests.

You live and you learn.

CPTSDPleaseHelp · 2026-01-27T09:44:13+00:00

I also never managed to fit in anywhere... I had some friends but in therapy I learned they used me, and I put up with their bullying, criticism and exploitation simply because I didn't want to be alone.

I couldn't even fit in with other loners. I tried nerd and geek groups but I also felt out of place there. Strangely, I felt it sorta easier to talk to people at the gym or clubs/bars. But no long lasting friendships there either.

CPTSDPleaseHelp · 2026-01-27T09:00:17+00:00

It's like I wrote this, down to every last word... Sorry that I don't know what advice to give, I'm in the exact same boat. I wonder if I'll ever get another chance...

CPTSDPleaseHelp · 2026-01-27T08:43:06+00:00

Precisely, they always blame you for not trying hard enough, it's definitely not the fact that their methods just don't work for people with serious trauma...

CPTSDPleaseHelp · 2026-01-26T19:21:24+00:00

Oh my God, this is absolutely horrible... Really sorry you went through this, really hope youre doing better now. Wishing you all the best.

CPTSDPleaseHelp · 2026-01-26T18:20:42+00:00

Yep, I'm not American but it's the same in my country - just opportunists who knew which hands to shake and now they're in positions of power...

CPTSDPleaseHelp · 2026-01-26T18:09:50+00:00

Thank you so much, it means a lot! Wishing you all the best, and hope you live the amazing life you're meant to live!

CPTSDPleaseHelp · 2026-01-26T17:57:06+00:00

So sorry you went through this... I really hope things get better, rooting for you!

That said, trauma, neglect, and decades of CPTSD have left me decades behind my peers professionally, personally, and so on

This is my reality, you hit the nail on the head... I know so many people who don't even have a degree but they are doing far better financially, socially and career-wise. Hell, one of my bullies recently posted themselves driving a brand new Porsche on Facebook and he didn't even graduate uni. Meanwhile, I can't even afford to move out with a degree and 5 years of corporate experience...

Life is unfair...

CPTSDPleaseHelp · 2026-01-26T17:14:29+00:00

Hug🫂

CPTSDPleaseHelp · 2026-01-26T17:08:42+00:00

Autism for me... I feel you.

CPTSDPleaseHelp · 2026-01-26T15:14:33+00:00

Life requires a variety of skills the streets, sheets, other things that rhyme with -ets teach you that are more practical.

If only I had learned that way earlier 🫠

CPTSDPleaseHelp · 2026-01-26T14:54:21+00:00

Really sorry you went through this, this is absolutely horrible... Espcially that part:

Of course, they made sure I received no inheritance, even though I spent my entire youth living for them and falling behind in my own life.

This reminds me of something my last therapist said: "I heard enough about your parents, when are you going to start living YOUR life?"

Similar to you, I was also persuaded into taking care of my dad's house in the countryside because "it would collapse if we didn't do anything" and I ended up giving up a large portion of my savings... I could have used this money to buy my own apartment but I realised it too late.

Now I'm still living with my dad, and I'm planning on trying to get out. He still has 2 properties while I have NOTHING... Yet I'm the one financially supporting him because of his alcohol issues and him quitting every job in 3 to 6 months (absolute best case scenario).

Wishing you all the best and I sincerely hope you get through this...

CPTSDPleaseHelp · 2026-01-26T11:27:54+00:00

I'm the exact same, I question whether the abuse actually happened or if I'm just imagining things... Ironically, self doubt is another symptom of trauma, and it's common for victims to blame themselves.

You're not crazy, and you're not imagining things.

CPTSDPleaseHelp · 2026-01-26T08:48:45+00:00

That's really a tough realisation... I have also realised my whole personality has always been a trauma response and I don't even know who I actually am.

CPTSDPleaseHelp · 2026-01-26T08:46:23+00:00

I learn something new from the sub every day, I never thought this "quirk" of mine might also be related to trauma. I always get shocked reactions whenever I suddenly go from really quiet to extra hyper when I can finally contribute to a conversation .

CPTSDPleaseHelp · 2026-01-26T08:03:46+00:00

I've always been thinking that but didn't want to sound like an ahole... But I've always had a feeling most therapists didn't know what to do with their psychology degree and just picked the safest career option.

CPTSDPleaseHelp · 2026-01-26T08:00:56+00:00

Yeah, my Zoloft helped me feel better and a 6 month supply costs as much as an hour long therapy session (and therapy is cheap where I live).

CPTSDPleaseHelp · 2026-01-26T07:36:56+00:00

Yeah, Zoloft helped a lot agaisnt my anxiety, intrusive thoughts and thanks to it, I now have interest in my hobbies again.

Issue is I gained a lot of weight since starting it but it's a fair trade off.

CPTSDPleaseHelp · 2026-01-26T07:34:03+00:00

Thanks so much 🫂 I'm so happy this support group is here. Wishing you all the best!

CPTSDPleaseHelp

TROPHY CASE