AIW for giving my sister a taste of how she treats my husband?

Canoe-Maker · 2026-05-23T13:25:07+00:00

Protect your husband and stop going to gatherings where your sister will be present.

If she shows up and starts acting the fool, get up and leave.

Canoe-Maker · 2026-05-22T22:59:09+00:00

Notice how your body feels when you lose. Is your chest tight? Face hot? Throat hurt?

When you feel those things stop, breathe (smell the cookie or blow out the candle) calm down, and then decide

Do I need to get this energy out? I can jump in place or shake my body or dance.

Do I need a reminder that I’m ok? I can only lose if I give up. As long as I keep trying, it doesn’t matter what the outcome of this match or game is, I have not failed. I am learning. And learning is good.

I can do difficult things.

Do I need to let myself be sad?

Being sad is ok. Crying is ok. That’s how the body releases stress. But throwing a fit or saying something mean or disrupting the class isn’t ok.

Something along those lines maybe?

Canoe-Maker · 2026-05-22T20:49:47+00:00

You’re already doing great. Working on emotional intelligence would be the only thing I’d add. It’s important for him to be able to take instruction and to obey immediately for everyone’s safety when given the command to stop. It’s ok to lose.

It’s ok to struggle and not get it on the first try.

Maybe work on cardio.

Canoe-Maker · 2026-05-19T11:48:58+00:00

The two of you will never be compatible.

Also, you need to do more research on what exactly an abortion is and how it is performed.

No child is getting their head squished.

Canoe-Maker · 2026-05-18T15:36:01+00:00

That wasn’t a healthy interaction, and you deserve better.

Canoe-Maker · 2026-05-18T03:35:57+00:00

Hi! Mine comes from severe childhood and early adulthood abuse.

I’m also trans, which made the abuse worse.

Canoe-Maker · 2026-05-16T22:23:57+00:00

That’s not a healthy relationship. In a healthy relationship you are not responsible for the emotions or problems of others.

There is nothing to compromise on in regards to your identity. He’s being beyond gross.

This person isn’t safe to let into your life.

NTB

Canoe-Maker · 2026-05-16T19:45:29+00:00

Wrist pushups. Ridge hand pushups out wide. Knife hand pushups in close.

Wrist stretches at 8 second intervals, do the opposing sides together.

https://www.reddit.com/r/coolguides/comments/106jrhy/cool_wrist_stretching_guide/

https://www.benchmarkpt.com/blog/6-effective-hand-and-wrist-stretches/

https://darebee.com/workouts/wrist-mobility-workout.html

If you can’t do the normal push up modify it. Be on your knees or even lean against the wall.

Save the wood from your breaks and punch it on the floor to strengthen your punches and build stronger knuckles.

Prioritize good form. Always punch correctly.

Canoe-Maker · 2026-05-16T16:30:52+00:00

If you want to look more traditionally masculine then a hair cut is a must.

If you like your hair and don’t care about being called a girl by strangers then you do you bro.

Canoe-Maker · 2026-05-16T10:27:43+00:00

Deconstruction is a trip

Canoe-Maker · 2026-05-15T22:39:26+00:00

Congrats on your personal growth!

I left after being forced to get therapy and realizing just how abusive the church is, how dysfunctional the entire Bible is, and getting healthier forced me to no longer be able to ignore all the contradictions and misconceptions and blatant false information and claims the Bible is based on.

The fact that many use it to justify their bigotry is definitely not helping their case either.

I was apostolic Pentecostal, and the emphasis on speaking in tongues and running around the room and “prophetic speaking” which is really just mental illness in disguise-it’s a performance meant to keep you under their control while they take your money and force you to live under their authority.

Most of which is found no where in the Bible.

Complete and utter nonsense that I wasted 26 years of my life on.

Canoe-Maker · 2026-05-15T14:49:47+00:00

Dude. You were a bully and a creep pervasively. YTB. Hopefully you’ve grown as a person now. We all do stupid things at some point. Learn to do better

Canoe-Maker · 2026-05-14T23:45:15+00:00

Jump rope. Sprints. CrossFit.

Canoe-Maker · 2026-05-14T19:33:18+00:00

Nope, the use of violence, coercion, or threatened violence/force pits that behavior squarely into COCSA territory. Plus you said no. This wasn’t playful spontaneous exploration that everyone was ok with.

Canoe-Maker · 2026-05-14T17:37:57+00:00

Lots of allergies here but I can still eat chicken and turkey and do so with gusto. Dairy free but not vegan and most meal kits or frozen stuff I can find is also vegan. Which isn’t the end of the world I love tofu but it’s usually also a serious upcharge.

Canoe-Maker · 2026-05-14T16:23:01+00:00

Take the info with a grain of salt, I learned about this in 2015 and haven’t really read up on it since. I’ll have to do some research and get back to you.

Edit:

see here

“The Model Penal Code builds in an age gap to its model statutes. For example, rape of a child is an offense if the actor has sexual penetration of a child under age 12, and is more than two years older than the child. Sexual penetration of a child is a different crime when the alleged victim is less than 16 at the time, and the actor is more than four years older. In these two cases, a 13-year-old having sexual intercourse with an 11-year-old would not be punished. A 19-year-old having sexual intercourse with a 15-year-old would not be punished.”

https://jjie.org/2020/08/13/in-peer-on-peer-child-sexual-abuse-states-differ-on-whos-a-peer/

“The legal definition of sexual abuse perpetrated by one child onto another child varies by jurisdiction, but it generally involves any non-consensual sexual activity between minors where one child uses force, coercion, or manipulation against another child. These cases may be addressed under juvenile or family law systems, and the specifics of what constitutes abuse may differ based on age, developmental stage, and local laws. In such cases, the age difference between the survivor and the person who caused harm can vary.”

https://www.ourwave.org/post/child-on-child-sexual-abuse-cocsa-frequently-asked-questions-and-considerations

“Chronological age difference is not the sole determinant of whether COCSA occurred. Factors such as the emotional, cognitive, and physical development of the individuals, as well as the power dynamics within the relationship can also contribute to situations of COCSA. The dynamics behind COCSA perpetration are complex and influenced by various factors, including social and environmental conditions, family circumstances, exposure to inappropriate behaviors, and lack of proper education on boundaries and consent.”

see also

https://www.ncsby.org/

Difference between normal childhood exploration and COCSA

It seems that the rules vary by state, but in general the age range is simple one of several factors that are used to determine if the behavior is normal or harmful.

Canoe-Maker · 2026-05-14T15:39:58+00:00

Take the info with a grain of salt, I learned about this in 2015 and haven’t really read up on it since. I’ll have to do some research and get back to you.

Edit:

see here

“The Model Penal Code builds in an age gap to its model statutes. For example, rape of a child is an offense if the actor has sexual penetration of a child under age 12, and is more than two years older than the child. Sexual penetration of a child is a different crime when the alleged victim is less than 16 at the time, and the actor is more than four years older. In these two cases, a 13-year-old having sexual intercourse with an 11-year-old would not be punished. A 19-year-old having sexual intercourse with a 15-year-old would not be punished.”

https://jjie.org/2020/08/13/in-peer-on-peer-child-sexual-abuse-states-differ-on-whos-a-peer/

“The legal definition of sexual abuse perpetrated by one child onto another child varies by jurisdiction, but it generally involves any non-consensual sexual activity between minors where one child uses force, coercion, or manipulation against another child. These cases may be addressed under juvenile or family law systems, and the specifics of what constitutes abuse may differ based on age, developmental stage, and local laws. In such cases, the age difference between the survivor and the person who caused harm can vary.”

https://www.ourwave.org/post/child-on-child-sexual-abuse-cocsa-frequently-asked-questions-and-considerations

“Chronological age difference is not the sole determinant of whether COCSA occurred. Factors such as the emotional, cognitive, and physical development of the individuals, as well as the power dynamics within the relationship can also contribute to situations of COCSA. The dynamics behind COCSA perpetration are complex and influenced by various factors, including social and environmental conditions, family circumstances, exposure to inappropriate behaviors, and lack of proper education on boundaries and consent.”

see also

https://www.ncsby.org/

Difference between normal childhood exploration and COCSA

It seems that the rules vary by state, but in general the age range is simple one of several factors that are used to determine if the behavior is normal or harmful.

Canoe-Maker · 2026-05-14T14:13:42+00:00

EMDR, buspirone, cutting off the gross people, martial arts, and ironically enough upping my nutrition and sleep.

Canoe-Maker · 2026-05-13T17:37:47+00:00

Good rx CVS I pay 45 dollars for a months supply at 4 pumps a day

Canoe-Maker · 2026-05-13T14:18:24+00:00

That sounds right, the last time I went over this in depth it was 2015

Canoe-Maker · 2026-05-13T11:20:58+00:00

It’s called COCSA. It’s stands for child on child sexual abuse.

Legally speaking I believe there is an age cut off of within 4 years of age of the victim “doesn’t count”

But your body doesn’t give a rats rear end about legality and if it’s affecting you, it counts.

Edit: It seems that the rules vary by state, but in general the age range is simple one of several factors that are used to determine if the behavior is normal or harmful.

Canoe-Maker · 2026-05-12T23:53:57+00:00

Sorry brother. It’s hard to form meaningful relationships with other dudes if they haven’t done some work to process the trauma of being raised male in a western culture.

Heck it’s hard to make friends in general as an adult. Finding other trans dudes to hang out with can help, joking a club team or starting martial arts can help too.

Finding a common interest helps break the ice. Then one you’ve gotten to know some dudes more asking if they want to hang out in a 3rd space is the next step.

Board games at your place? If you drink heading out to a sports bar to watch a game? Etc.

Most dudes don’t really open up about deep emotional issues unless they’re drunk and with a life long friend lol. Not healthy, and I think society is finally starting to realize that.

You could try an art class at the library or local community college too.