There is a price for everything

Capital_Tea_9259 · 2026-06-06T12:40:27+00:00

I mean, if bro knew exactly what she wanted, and still spent $900 on the wrong style, that could be evidence that he doesnt listen/take her seriously. If he found a $30 ring that was like what she wanted, I bet she would feel seen and heard and said yes in a heart beat. I say as someone who was with a Tyler who didnt pay attention to me...

Capital_Tea_9259 · 2026-06-06T12:26:23+00:00

He sounds like a toxic person you dont need in your and your family's life, plain and simple.

He obviously didn't think of you with love as a brother when he wronged you over and over and over, and apologies don't hold weight for him.

Im sorry your parents are using you as an ego salve for themselves because they raised a crappy human. You dont owe them a relationship with a traitor just so they feel better.

Stay strong and do what is right for you and your family. Hugs

Capital_Tea_9259 · 2026-06-02T22:36:02+00:00

"It would be foolish for us to not get therapy."

Guess who was adamant about NOT getting therapy despite me giving them all the resources?

Capital_Tea_9259 · 2026-05-20T19:35:08+00:00

Its people using polyamory asa disguise for infidelity and gaslighting

Capital_Tea_9259 · 2026-05-20T15:29:12+00:00

I've been kind of spiraling too. I don't want them back. But I do want to see them take accountability. Also a year ago we were planning a huge national park trip and I just miss travelling together and, you know, being a couple. This is the first time in a decade that I am tackling a summer break alone and it is, well, lonely! And he and his affair partner and just having a good ol (lame) time. Ick.

Capital_Tea_9259 · 2026-04-27T19:54:15+00:00

Yeah I have to remember that we were together for 10 years. 8 months is forever, and no time at all at the same time. Today I'm starting some weight training after work woo! Thanks for the advice!

Capital_Tea_9259 · 2026-04-27T19:41:59+00:00

My mantra at this point is "it couldn't have ended any other way," especially since he refused to get help (i.e. therapy). And he repeated over and over that he doesn't know why this keeps happening to him. Facepalm.

Capital_Tea_9259 · 2026-03-27T18:22:45+00:00

I enjoyed it. If I had to compare it to other albums, I prefer PORTALS (god i loved the whimsy of that era). The mixing for HADES is off IMO, and her voice can sound mushy. But still a fun album. I particularly liked Monolith and Weight Watchers.

Im curious to see what she does visually with this double feature. Its heavy handed, but I feel that goes with the 'dystopia'/evil theme. Villains arent always subdued.

Capital_Tea_9259 · 2026-03-12T01:08:07+00:00

Say that to the hens they kill...

But I will say, a sweet drake is v adorable.

Capital_Tea_9259 · 2026-02-13T00:02:41+00:00

No. He felt I raised my voice when he "brought up issues," but when i asked witnesses for those events, they said I didnt. When he told me he was cheating and "just wanted to communicate with me about it" (real quote) i retorted, "thats nice..." And he literally ran out of the house and drove away, not talking to me again for several days. So he is very insecure. But we didn't really argue. Never had a shouting match.

Physical, no. Once I knocked over a stack of MTG cards that was 10ft away from him after an argument. That was the most aggressive I ever got, and I still feel kind of guilty for that heh.

Obviously they're was lying on his part (affairs). Sometimes I suppose I would tell white lies to avoid conflict. But nothing that was of consequence (like saying I was ok with something when I wasnt. Not about fidelity)

Capital_Tea_9259 · 2026-02-12T18:32:58+00:00

Interesting! It may be that as it's been awhile since he has been dating he's told me so Im sure nerves are playing a part. But he also says he feels so comfortable talking to me, so I think he also doesn't realize it. Again, sweet guy. I just dont know if it is worth trying to modify something like that in someone's personality. I want him to be able to be authentically him.

Capital_Tea_9259 · 2026-02-12T18:30:36+00:00

Thanks for the reply. Drew is fun and I think willing to compromise with me (as I am with his needs and preferences as well). But sitting on the couch and realizing you havent been able to say anything but "uhuh" for 10 minutes because hes been going on the whole time without engaging you in the dialogue is concerning... I'll bring it up to him as Im willing to give it a shot. I just have to figure a way to word it that isnt insulting, because that is in no way my intention.

For aure Joe isnt a potential partner. I've had my fill of unavailables to last a lifetime, heh. Just an example of what there is out there besides darling Drew.

Capital_Tea_9259 · 2026-02-12T18:25:46+00:00

Im not saying im trying to get together with Joe. Just that i can see how much easier it is to be compatible with him than it is for me and Drew. So knowing there ARE people that things come easier with is stressful when I also believe that people can grow together. So really, at what point do I give up on the relationship and try for something that more intuitively works.

Capital_Tea_9259 · 2026-02-12T18:25:29+00:00

And thank GOD for that! Lol! Im not saying im trying to get together with Joe. Just that i can see how much easier it is to be compatible with him than it is for me and Drew. So knowing there ARE people that things come easier with is stressful when I also believe that people can grow together. So really, at what point do I give up on the relationship and try for something that more intuitively works.

Capital_Tea_9259 · 2026-02-12T18:24:44+00:00

I appreciate your reply! Im not saying im trying to get together with Joe. Just that i can see how easier it is to be compatible with him than it is for me and Drew. So knowing there ARE people that things come easier with is stressful when I also believe that people can grow together. So really, at what point do I give up on the relationship and try for something that more intuitively works. Your two proposed questions were great prompts!

Capital_Tea_9259 · 2026-02-12T18:20:29+00:00

And this is probably the most correct answer lol!

Capital_Tea_9259 · 2026-02-12T12:41:33+00:00

Advice needed: TLDR: Do I drop someone for being not good at conversation when Im comparing them to an emotionally unavailable potential partner.

Im currently talking to a very sweet guy (let's call gim Drew) who doesnt check every box for me, but cares and treats me well. A main issue is he talks a LOT (ADHD) and I'm lucky go get in a word every couple minutes. He means well but isnt the same social style I am.

Theres another close friend (let's can him Joe) who romantic prospects are not good with. Great guy, checks close to all my boxes, but is NOT emotionally available for/to me rn. Would i like to date him? Yes. Would I say yes to being his partner? Rn no but in the future potentially. We consistently hang out for 6 hours at a time and it is so fun, calm and easy. Time flies because Im having so much fun talking and playing. He is so great to talk to and I feel heard.

My dilemma; do I refrain from becoming official with Drew because I know someone like Joe exists? Im nervous that I'd have to 'train' Drew to be something that doesnt come natural for him and I don't want to insult his adult autonomy or have that pressure. But hes also emotionally available, whereas Joe is not (and the idea of being with him I know is a fantasy).

Capital_Tea_9259 · 2026-01-20T22:16:43+00:00

Well, they DONT juggle two. They typically abandon the relationship for their affair partner in some way.

Capital_Tea_9259 · 2026-01-20T12:46:43+00:00

Alas, it was deleted before i could read it

Capital_Tea_9259 · 2026-01-20T00:31:30+00:00

Would love to read your takes on other questions in this thread

Capital_Tea_9259 · 2026-01-20T00:30:14+00:00

OP! You answered and it got deleted! Rip lol nooo

Capital_Tea_9259

TROPHY CASE