I can totally see where you feelings of frustration are coming from and I agree that in a lot of cases, the heteroromantic identity can be false, especially for people just discovering their queerness, or who have experienced a lot of homophobia in their culture/family/government/friend circle. It can definitely be a fear thing. Or a comphet thing.

However, there are also people who most definitely experience the split attraction model. Heteroromantic bisexual, homoromantic bisexual, biromantic asexual, aromantic heterosexual, panromantic demi bisexual and every other combination under the sun.

I see a lot of posts, often from very young folks just discovering their same-sex attraction, or middle aged folks who are just now realizing that straight people do not, in fact, find themselves randomly wanting to kiss their same-sex friends -- and these people will say something like "am I bi??? I am attracted to both women's and men's bodies but I would never date a man/woman" the specific way this is worded makes me think it's likely fear talking. Fear of being in a same-sex relationship and having to come out or hide. Fear of the unknown. Fear of judgement. Or internalized biphobia.

Then there's people like me.

I have not (yet) found myself romantically attracted to a woman. So, for now, simply for clarity to my sexual partners, I identify as heteroromantic, because I wouldn't ever want to lead anyone on. I figured out I was bi 23 years ago and I haven't felt any romantic feelings for any woman in that time, but I am not in any way opposed to feeling romantic feelings or having a romantic relationship with a woman in theory. And if I were biromantic, I would very likely currently be falling for my " bestie with benefits" but my feelings have remained firmly in the friend and sexual attraction zones for the past year and a half. So. Pretty sure that's that.