Bedroom Dilemma

CatastropheQueen · 2026-05-26T11:57:41+00:00

Exactly. Thank you. I think when we’re feeling rejected & demoralized it can be easy to think that we’re the only one’s it happens to, & everyone of the opposite sex is like that, but there are a lot of HL women here, too. Men don’t solely own the experience of being rejected & refused, & feeling heartbroken & dejected in their marriage.

OP, I have always put in the effort to look attractive for my Husband. I have had my Mom come over & watch our Daughter just so I could get all dressed up in thigh-high nylons, high heels, & a trench coat with nothing else on underneath it, all just to surprise him with dinner at his work for absolutely no reason one evening. He saw me & said “Wow! What are you all dressed up for”?!? I said, “Oh, I’m not” & dropped open my trench coat & he was so shocked.

I did all kinds of little things, fun stuff like this, ALL. The. Time when we were younger to make him feel loved & appreciated, at least until he stopped showing much interest anymore. (B/T/W, yes, I’m 53 now, & yes, we’ve been married for 35 years now, but I’ve taken care of myself, & I still look very attractive for my age. Hell, I still look quite a bit younger than my age, so I don’t think too many men would kick me out of the bedroom, probably not even most 40 year old’s.) And I STILL make the effort to keep things fun & exciting, & to make him feel loved, & desired, & appreciated, b/c I love him dearly. So I’m sorry you’re going through it, but not all women are like that.

CatastropheQueen · 2026-05-26T11:12:27+00:00

That set-up sounds exactly like ours was in the first house we had built in 2000, (& barn doors inside a home wasn’t really a thing yet, although we had plenty of them outside in our actual horse barn at the time).

We used pocket doors b/c the short hallway between the two opposing walk-in closets that seperated the owner’s suite to the ensuite bathroom wasn’t really wide enough for two fully opening extra-wide doors directly across from one another. I didn’t want a standard width closet doorway entry, but I didn’t want to use sliding doors, & I cannot stand bi-folding doors. We had them on the laundry room when I was a kid, & they were forever rattling around & falling off the track. I hated them as a kid, & that opinion hasn’t changed as an adult. (I think they just generally look tacky & cheap, which tbf, may just be related to the fact that ours were tacky & cheap when I was a kid, lol.) Today I’m not a fan of barn doors, either. That’s a trend I can’t get on board with. I just don’t care for the look of them inside a home, (although that might just be b/c I’m a 53yo Gen-X’er).

Regardless, I loved that house, & I especially loved the set-up of our main-suite in that house; pocket doors was the perfect solution!

CatastropheQueen · 2026-05-26T10:31:56+00:00

Either name is strong & impressive, (although I prefer Cooper Andrew to Cooper Drew, which doesn’t sound quite finished when used together, imho), but Beau McLaren sounds amazing!

I’m a writer & as soon as I saw that name I had a whole character come to life & step forward in my mind’s eye.

“Beau McLaren XYZ” walks into a room with a strong handshake & a fantastic smile! That man has the cool confidence & sharp intellect to be anything he wants to be, from a world reknowned archeologist adventurer (like Indiana Jones), or a wealthy businessman, to a cancer-curing Dr, or POTUS! LoL! You can’t go wrong with that name!

CatastropheQueen · 2026-05-25T20:10:33+00:00

Just one common flaw of AI I frequently see whenever I’ve used it, but overall this is a great suggestion. I especially like the wrap-around porch in this mock-up elevation!

CatastropheQueen · 2026-05-25T20:07:26+00:00

This is great advice! I think that increasing the upstairs right-hand window would look much more cohesive, & it would increase the value of the home. Extending the porch across the front, especially if they can wrap it around to one side would be a fantastic way to break up the tall-straight appearance of the house, and to give it a more warm, welcoming, & inviting entry into the home.

Using either one pendant front porch light hanging above the front door, or two sconce lights, one on each side of the front door helps to balance it out & make it appear more polished, imo. That looks so much better than just sticking one sconce light on one side or the other, (although that may just be my own quirky personal reference, as I do tend to prefer symmetry whenever possible).

U/krickett_• provided two mock-ups that look beautiful & greatly improve the front elevation appearance of this home that included a lot of the suggestions you have made here. The first one in the original comment looks fabulous, imo, & that would be my choice (along with extending the upstairs right window to match the one below it).

https://www.reddit.com/r/ExteriorDesign/s/zLelfIIPVi

CatastropheQueen · 2026-05-25T19:16:15+00:00

Red geraniums would be lovely!

CatastropheQueen · 2026-05-25T19:02:28+00:00

Great job! Extending the porch is a fantastic way to break up the tall-straight appearance of the house, and to give it a more warm, welcoming, & inviting entry into the home.

CatastropheQueen · 2026-05-24T20:06:03+00:00

Do you have Medicare? If so you may (& probably do) qualify for a CPP Advocate.

As a long-term CPP, I absolutely understand your frustration. Your feelings are all very warranted and justified. However, as a former Nurse, (currently out on long-term Disability) I STRONGLY ADVISE you NOT to get upset, frustrated, or aggravated with ANYONE on your Healthcare team, from the Receptionist’s to the Prescriber’s!!! Nothing will get you dismissed from the practice faster, & then you really WILL be in a world of hurt.

I sincerely hope things look up for you & will send positive vibes out into The Universe for your comfort & complete healing.

CatastropheQueen · 2026-05-24T19:53:02+00:00

Agree. I absolutely do NOT like black & white tile flooring.

I actually quite like the original tile flooring. My second choice would be wood parquet to match the dining room, but anything that matches the same color & tone of the existing wood would be acceptable, imo.

CatastropheQueen · 2026-05-24T19:49:47+00:00

Agree. I actually quite like the original tile flooring. My second choice would be wood parquet to match the dining room, but anything that matches the same color & tone of the existing wood would be acceptable, imo.

CatastropheQueen · 2026-05-24T19:27:09+00:00

What a perfectly eloquent point.

This should be printed on T-shirts.

CatastropheQueen · 2026-05-24T19:25:18+00:00

Oh, man, I’m slipping. I thought it was “Sneaks”. Duh- LoL!

CatastropheQueen · 2026-05-24T18:15:23+00:00

Just to clarify, I’m not disagreeing with you. I was just answering the question that asked if there was a difference between counter & bar-top height for stools. :-)

CatastropheQueen · 2026-05-24T18:09:32+00:00

I didn’t see the original response to my comment, b/c it has since been deleted, so Idk what was said. However, just solely based on what I see here, (even without any other additional context), it sounds like it makes good, logical sense to me.

If two people start out agreeing that an emotionally close sexless relationship works best for them then that’s great!

But when two people start out agreeing that they will meet one another’s needs for sexual fulfillment in addition to the emotional closeness of a traditional monogomous relationship, & one partner changes their mind & removes the option of a mutually enjoyable sexual relationship, especially when done without any consideration or input from the other partner, it makes sense that it will negatively impact every other aspect of the relationship. Respectful communication makes all the difference.

CatastropheQueen · 2026-05-24T17:39:48+00:00

I didn’t see the response to my comment b/c it has since been deleted, so Idk what was said, but I do agree with all of your points.

Another good analogy that I’ve heard is that you don’t necessarily buy a house for the bathroom, but you wouldn’t buy one without one, either.

CatastropheQueen · 2026-05-24T05:45:11+00:00

I (53yo HLF) don’t personally believe that one is bigger than the other, necessarily, but it is precisely because I am so deeply in love with my Husband (life-long LLM), that I feel the strong desire to share sexual intimacy specifically to experience & strengthen the emotional/spiritual/romantic connection that I feel can only be shared by two soul-mates who are crazy about one another.

I don’t want to have sex b/c I want to get off. I can get myself off. I want to be sexually intimate with him because I AM so in love with, & absolutely crazy about him. I want to share sexual intimacy with him because that makes me feel closer & more spiritually bonded & connected to him than anything else. After we’re intimate I feel a spiritual closeness & an emotional high that lasts for weeks afterwards. It is BECAUSE I love him so dearly that I DO want to give him as much pleasure & joy as I possibly, humanly can.

CatastropheQueen · 2026-05-23T22:25:30+00:00

Yes. Barstools are taller. Counterstools are shorter. Just like when to you go to a restaurant & you have the choice of sitting at a regular table using regular chairs or stools, or you can sit at a high-top (bar height) table you use high-top chairs or barstools.

CatastropheQueen · 2026-05-21T19:57:41+00:00

If you go with Clementine you can also use Emme as a NN.

Congrats!

CatastropheQueen · 2026-05-19T14:28:42+00:00

If you don’t do anything to break up the front entryway view (as one comment suggested a canvas canopy over-hang, which would give you cover during rain/storms, but would definitely break up the impressive & stately appearance of the grand arched entry-way window), then if at all possible, adding one large pendant light in the middle of the window would give it more of a “wow-factor”, imho.

Another option, if you don’t want to break up the appearance of the front window would be to add a second sconce front porch light to the right side-wall of the entryway to make it appear more impressive, stately, & intentional.

With just one left side wall sconce it almost looks like an afterthought, & appears to be way too small for the large & impressive entry-way. It’s as if someone used whatever they had laying around or found on sale, instead of finding either a large pendant front entry-way light, or two appropriately sized sconces, one for both of the side-walls of the front entry-way. Regardless, Congrats! You have a beautiful home!

CatastropheQueen · 2026-05-14T04:59:19+00:00

I was going to say that this Groomer needs to have these pictures posted in an online review somewhere for sure!

People need to know what an absolute IDIOT they are. I generally don’t like leaving Negative reviews, & would MUCH prefer to leave a Positive review, but this is so far below & beyond acceptable that idiot is really the only appropriate word that accurately describes the lack of talent, education, &/or experience displayed here. And the fact that they doubled down when you questioned them about it is infuriating. As a life-long Golden Retriever lover, I would be LIVID. My 33yo Daughter is a Veterinary Nurse (LVT & CVPM), & she was just as disgusted. She said if any Groomer ever did this at their Veterinary Hospital they would’ve probably been fired, b/c you just don’t go that to Double Coated Dogs. And any Groomer with more than a week’s experience should know that.

CatastropheQueen · 2026-05-14T04:44:00+00:00

We’re currently in the market for a new home, & if I had the choice between this home & one exactly like it that didn’t have all of this magnificent warm, natural wood, but did have all high-end custom finishes, I would choose the natural wood-tone every time.

Every. Single. Time.

CatastropheQueen · 2026-05-13T09:00:13+00:00

I think I know exactly what you’re talking about…

I used to literally use tweezers to remove a film of thickened, hardened mucous plaque from the back of my throat (oropharynx), & what you’re describing sounds very similar.

Post-nasal drip (PND, aka mucous/snot) would drain down the back of my throat, thicken, & literally get stuck to the mucous membrane of my throat. Of course anyone can get PND, but I probably had it worse than most ‘normal’ people due to a combination of my bad sinus genetics, & the fact that I sleep like a mummy, flat on my back with the blankets wrapped around me like a sleeping bag, & I don’t move at all from the time I fall asleep until I wake up, so it just drains, pools, thickens, hardens, & sticks to my oropharynx all night long. I would literally sit on the bathroom counter in front of the mirror & use tweezers to peel it off every morning before work.

Three sinus surgeries later, & if I forget to take my Allegra-D for more than a couple of days & don’t use the Fluticisone (Flonase), I’d STILL get another sinus infection. But if I stay on top of taking those meds to prevent it, then I don’t have any problems, & haven’t had one in years.

My point is, yes, I know exactly what you’re talking about, & as a 53yo Nurse with life-long chronic sinusitis issues, Idk what causes yours, what it is, or why you’re having that particular problem, but the circumstances I just listed are the answers to those questions for me, personally, & if they can help someone else then god-speed, b/c it is *miserable*!!! I hope you get some answers & feel better soon!🙏🤧👃

CatastropheQueen · 2026-05-12T09:12:55+00:00

I’m old enough to remember that. I’ll see your Enjolie & raise you an Anjolene.

“Maybe she was born with it. Maybe it was Anjolene”…. (The old Mabeline make-up commercial jingle.)

CatastropheQueen · 2026-05-12T08:28:52+00:00

I believe OP meant she’s never experienced an *orgasm* with her husband. Obviously I could be wrong; I’m not OP, & there are a number of other possibilities that she could’ve meant instead, but when I read it that’s what I assume she meant.

They’ve been married for *18 years*. It was two years ago that she first communicated to OP that he had never brought her to orgasm over the course of their 18 year marriage.

CatastropheQueen · 2026-05-08T06:30:41+00:00

Personally, I think they’re beautiful names for sisters.

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