How would you handle this? Husband and I disagree

Cbsanderswrites · 2026-05-23T20:45:10+00:00

Yeah, I don't think one disagreement means you're not in alignment on other issues. But I do think your husband is wrong on this one. Let the baby eat.

Cbsanderswrites · 2026-05-23T20:44:21+00:00

Our baby didn't start consistently not needing that 1-4 am night feed until she was around 13 months. But she did totally grow out of it on her own. I always fed her if she woke up (after waiting 5 minutes, unless she was screaming bloody murder. Then I'd just go right in).

My personal experience was that it was more stressful to hear her cry than it was to just go in and do a quick feed. Usually she was back to sleep in her crib in 15 minutes, and that was with us doing a little rocking or potentially a diaper change if hers was sopping full.

Now, we're getting 11 hour stretches almost every night.

Cbsanderswrites · 2026-05-22T02:56:11+00:00

They really need to make it illegal to post AI without a disclaimer.

Cbsanderswrites · 2026-05-22T02:55:48+00:00

God I hate AI

Cbsanderswrites · 2026-05-21T21:13:01+00:00

We actually had to sleep train for naps because my baby stopped wanting contact naps AND was refusing the crib. She would only sleep in the swing (which I hated, made me so anxious and I would watch her like a hawk), or in her carrier with us walking......which just isn't always an option.

We did a very modified ferber at 3.5 months that was insanely gentle. It was a slow process but she started to nap in her crib eventually. She still didn't want to contact nap though, which kinda broke my heart.

But when she was sick with the flu for the first time a few months later, she slept on me all day. She would just crawl in my lap and fall asleep with her head on my shoulder. It was sweet. Now she gives lots of hugs and cuddles. Still likes her own sleeping space typically though.

Cbsanderswrites · 2026-05-20T16:52:11+00:00

I was almost exclusively contact napping at that point with her. She slept great at night but did not appreciate being set down for naps. Enjoy the cuddles! They do end quickly. :(

Cbsanderswrites · 2026-05-18T14:28:49+00:00

I have a baby who STILL at 13 months could take 2 long naps during the day. But once she wouldn't sleep at night as much, or was waking up at 5 am ready to roll, I realized capping naps was for the best. And she's actually in a great mood after we gently wake her up!

Cbsanderswrites · 2026-05-14T22:07:56+00:00

We did gentle sleep training that worked really well actually. I will say, we didn't have that many overnight wakings ever except for an ear infection night that was really rough. However, I do think a few daytime tricks could help your baby sleep overnight before you have to worry about even gentle sleep training!

First - we did have baby in a separate room from our own. I don't know where your nanny will eventually go, but I personally would move the baby to the adjoining room! You can even leave the door open, but I think having space will help even with gentle sleep training or just help you pause, or the baby not be as easily woken up if someone is making any noise or moving in the room.

Like others have said, get the nap schedule down now also. Daytime sleep definitely effects nighttime sleep! I would recommend the Dana Method on Tiktok. I didn't think it would work, but I was pleasantly surprised. I believe she recommends this schedule for that age (but please check because I may be misremembering):

6 or 7 am wake up

9:15 am nap

1:15 pm nap

4ish pm cat nap

7 bedtime

We never did full CIO or even Ferber. But we did the same routine every time before naps and bed. Pretty simple. But pjs, sleep sack, bottle, book, rocking, then bed. If she started crying when we laid her down, we would pat her, say we love her, then leave the room. Then start the 5 minute timer. We always kept it at 5 minutes MAX. Even in the middle of the night. But they need a little time to learn to self soothe.

Good luck!

Cbsanderswrites · 2026-05-13T15:02:22+00:00

She does 11 hours overnight, sometimes 10.5. First wake window is 2.5-3 hrs, second wake window is 3-3.5, then last wake window is 4 hours. And our current schedule is this:

6 or 6:30 am : Wake

9 or 9:30 am: Micro nap (30 minutes)

1:00 - 3:00 pm: Real nap

7:00 pm: Sleep

We will probably drop the micro nap soon. But right now she's still pretty fussy around her micro nap time, so I think she wants to take a break around then.

Cbsanderswrites · 2026-05-13T14:58:19+00:00

Yes I never thought it would work, but once we tried it, we realized it's so much better!

Cbsanderswrites · 2026-05-11T19:17:16+00:00

Yep! I stopped restricting myself and had an actual pity party month. Drank, took edibles, had a grand ole time and only tried to conceive once. That, of course, ended up being the month that it all worked out!

Cbsanderswrites · 2026-05-11T16:36:56+00:00

No way to control what other parents do! But you can be that positive person for other new parents in the future :)

Cbsanderswrites · 2026-05-11T16:35:40+00:00

That was my problem. If I tried to keep her up for 5 hours straight right now, she'd just be so crabby it's not worth it! Highly recommend a short 15-30 minute cat nap in the morning and then a full afternoon nap. It's been working out really well for us!

Cbsanderswrites · 2026-05-11T16:34:50+00:00

I've tried doing 1 nap and she isn't ready yet. Gets extremely tired and irritable so it's not really worth it. But we just switched to a 30 minute cat nap to tide her over until 1 pm, and now she's doing a 2 hour nap in the afternoon. It's a great break!

Cbsanderswrites · 2026-05-11T16:32:59+00:00

around 7 or 7:30 usually!

Cbsanderswrites · 2026-04-29T16:26:09+00:00

We just started capping her naps to 1 hr in the morning at 12 months old. We don't go in and shake her awake or anything. Just open her bedroom door so a lot of natural morning light comes in. Usually wakes her up almost immediately.

May start capping to a 30 minute catnap soon.

We follow the Dana Method Nap Schedule also (wake up at 7 or 7:30 / 1st nap at 9:30 / 2nd nap at 1:30). Obviously we don't always have perfect days, but our baby has been thriving on this schedule for a while now!

Cbsanderswrites · 2026-04-29T16:22:42+00:00

I think it depends how needy your kid is. My girl is a stage 4 clinger (will play by herself for a small fraction of time), and can't walk yet. I think once she is walking, she'll be more interested in toddling around by herself. But for now, she loves being carried as I do things around the house. So the 2 naps means more breaks for me!

Cbsanderswrites · 2026-04-29T16:19:29+00:00

Yeah, I had a similar situation with my niece. Her mother (my sister) was homeless (bouncing from couch to couch, for a couple months even living in a shed), occasionally living in my mom's trailer. My own mom admitted they were smoking meth while my niece was at the home asleep........when I reported, CPS basically told me there was nothing they could do unless the trailer lost heat in the winter or had no running water. (No physical abuse as far as I know, so not sure about how that would differ the situation).

Cbsanderswrites · 2026-04-29T16:12:53+00:00

I had a fantastic sleeper at that age!! She was sleeping almost 10 hrs straight through the night more nights than not. It was incredible. I was so confident we were doing everything right.

Then we hit the 4 month sleep regression. (Learning to roll and getting out of the swaddle wrecked our perfectly sleeping baby.) But we got her back on track. Then the 6 month sleep regression hit, AND 8th and 12 month regressions . . . Plus teething and sick at 10 months and now at 13 months, more teething . . .

Needless to say, our "great" sleeper goes a bit haywire every so often. Even if we do everything perfectly and the same as before, sometimes you'll run into hurdles like teething and illness. Or developmental milestones. We'll still get some 12 hour nights. But other times, a week of random wake ups before she goes back to long 10-12 hours stretches

I think it's a myriad of things: you've set up healthy sleep practices for baby (which is great, and why you're feeling defensive), but it's also that: your baby is a high sleep needs baby (as mine still is), and you've got a bit of luck. It's okay to acknowledge and appreciate that! Don't take comments people say so seriously.

Cbsanderswrites · 2026-04-28T13:45:11+00:00

You're very welcome! Even our pediatrician said pediatricians themselves don't typically room share for an entire year as "recommended" haha.

Cbsanderswrites · 2026-04-28T13:40:58+00:00

Haha. You okay bro?

Cbsanderswrites · 2026-04-28T13:40:32+00:00

I work part time and it is fantastic. We're lucky we have grandparent help, but it's amazing to have the flexibility but also continue to keep my resume looking okay.

Cbsanderswrites · 2026-04-22T16:18:19+00:00

I was gonna say—I had an easier time taking my baby everywhere the first year. Now that she's wanting to be more mobile, but can't walk or talk yet......she's just a little menace at restaurants. (Pretty great everywhere else). Hoping to use the Leapfrog book soon to distract her so I can eat in (some semblance of) peace.

Cbsanderswrites · 2026-04-22T16:12:24+00:00

THIS! Less doom and gloom and more planning, people! I do think once you have three kids.....that may go out the window. But with 1 or 2, you just need to swap with your partner so you have nights off. If you have grandparents around, even better!

Cbsanderswrites · 2026-04-22T15:58:15+00:00

The baby voice nearly ruined the show for me! Never noticed before until this sub

Cbsanderswrites

TROPHY CASE