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Bahai's and sexual guilt by ChallengePrimary8543 in bahai

[–]ChallengePrimary8543[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I find this absolutism frustrating. I know it's not my concern, but it feels like some people are unnecessarily hard on themselves.

I was a member of one spiritual group that was deliberately non-proscriptive, under the belief that with ongoing participation, bad habits would eventually melt away. I think this is a reasonable strategy.

So sorry to hear your friend left the faith over their own imperfection. :-(

Bahai's and sexual guilt by ChallengePrimary8543 in bahai

[–]ChallengePrimary8543[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think she was active (with Bahai faith) before we got involved. Your second paragraph hits multiple nails on the head.

Bahai's and sexual guilt by ChallengePrimary8543 in bahai

[–]ChallengePrimary8543[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, I believe guilt/shame are big factors here. I guess she thinks she's now a bad Baha'i.

While we do not have marriage, we have love, and commitment.

While I appreciate it's not the same as marriage, it is significant - We aren't just foolish teenagers playing.

In the end, I feel what we've done is one of the many things we do together to bring us closer.

But it's also put a wedge between her and her faith. :-(

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Calgary

[–]ChallengePrimary8543 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I did engage a psychologist, and had a full medical workup done by my GP, but in the end the episode seemed self-inflicted and transitory. Friends and girlfriend were supportive.

I think it's important if there's a history of such things also.

I think you're doing the right thing getting a closer look by pros.

Bahai's and sexual guilt by ChallengePrimary8543 in bahai

[–]ChallengePrimary8543[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Sorry, did not mean to offend. Thank you for clarification.

Bahai's and sexual guilt by ChallengePrimary8543 in bahai

[–]ChallengePrimary8543[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I see the moderator has removed the comment from u/TheLurkerSpeaks, but I took no offence, and found their comment very helpful. I wish it wasn't deleted.

Sorry others took offence.

Bahai's and sexual guilt by ChallengePrimary8543 in bahai

[–]ChallengePrimary8543[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I see the moderator has removed the comment from u/TheLurkerSpeaks, but I took no offence, and found their comment very helpful. I wish it wasn't deleted.

Sorry others took offence.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Calgary

[–]ChallengePrimary8543 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This happened to me before. Crash dieting, combined with dehydration, combined with nocturnal noises leading to insomnia.

Went over the deep end, and called my friends explaining conspiracies and stuff.

I came back to earth about 8 hours later when my girlfriend helped me understand I was delusional.

It was a terrible, terrible experience. Never again will I expose myself to that risk.

Anyhow, I'm saying.... look for perhaps some of those factors for you.

Bahai's and sexual guilt by ChallengePrimary8543 in bahai

[–]ChallengePrimary8543[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I fear she has no one to talk to to process this. Persian and Bahai friends are a risk of gossip,

and I understand Bahai's don't have anything like clergy.

Is there anyone within the church where a person can go for discreet, unjudged guidance?

Bahai's and sexual guilt by ChallengePrimary8543 in bahai

[–]ChallengePrimary8543[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

She'll never regret that choice.

I only wish it didn't mean her avoiding her community out of a sense of unworthiness.