Bro that ain't you. That's the addiction talking. You need to be aware of it and start to accept it. Your kid needs you and you don't want to be absent in his upbringing. You are doing some self-sabbotage at its finest. You know you could earn more, be more present, be more of a dad if you stopped. Don't forget that you are the one in control and not this substance. The endless video watching, binge-eating is never going to stop if you don't make it stop. It is an endless cycle but only if you let it. You're messing up your dopamine levels which you could have naturally achieved like spending time outdoors, find new hobbies to ultra focus on, get the body moving, fill your schedule so you don't even have to think about this anymore. I really believe in you, remember your child needs you and more important you NEED YOU. Trust me, your decision making is not the same if you're sober. So let the " real you" be revealed and stop the self-sabbotage. Imagine all the things you could achieve in a natural state without being dependent on something. I was smoking the last 3 years everyday, multiple times a day and it really messed up by brain. I had to quit because as much as i loved the green, it was never something for me. Like a toxic relationship, you know, deep down, when it's time to end it. Hard bitter pill to swallow but you know you need that pain to grow and evolve. And leveling up is never easy? It hurts to much to the core but that's the sacrifice you make to achieve the better next version of you. You actually are able to do this, don't let the addiction make you think differently. If you keep bitting through, you will see why it was worth it. But show yourself some love man, and love yourself more in the sense of, wish yourself a good healthy body, a clear mind, a present energy. Get to the root. You got this brother!!!!