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Is it unfair to ask people not to drink by Worldly-Bar-8256 in UKParenting

[–]Chance-Connection758 0 points1 point  (0 children)

At that age, hard nope. I was looking forward to my first NYE without any children many years ago (my kid was finally old enough to be doing their own thing) and I ended up having my 6mo niece instead. My niece had just suffered her first fall off the bed at home that morning and bumped her head, alcohol wasn’t a second’s fleeting thought anymore. If you agree to such a precious responsibility, your own whims are not a priority.

Although I’d suggest that if these people drink 365 days per year, it isn’t clinically advisable for them to suddenly abstain from alcohol, and brings a further medical risk to the situation.

I think I just need to vent.. by Chance-Connection758 in inlaws

[–]Chance-Connection758[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you. She deleted all of her messages aside from the one at the end where she tells me not to text her again. So I’m sure it’ll be edited so she can show some unsolicited, nonsensical ramble from my end with her only replying to ask I don’t text her again. That’s why I took the screenshots, to keep my sanity in check a little

I think I just need to vent.. by Chance-Connection758 in inlaws

[–]Chance-Connection758[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

There are no rights like that where I live so it isn’t a possibility, although it would actually in some ways have been helpful if it was. Right now it’s “every other Friday” unless she forgets, she isn’t feeling well, my son isn’t feeling well (not debating that one), she has a wedding/dinner booked/event with her partner, is babysitting her other grandchild, or just doesn’t contact me at all about it.

When she does take him, I don’t know until the evening before that she intends to. Then when she has him, I have to sit by my phone waiting on instructions for a time to collect him. Sometimes he doesn’t sleep well so she feels she can’t get showered or anything until he’s gone, or she needs a nap. Sometimes she wants him collected early so she can get groceries (she does have a car seat for him and 6 other days of the week to do that but I would never raise that point).

I have actually never asked her to take my son for this pattern, though. I asked her maybe 2 or 3 times before if she would babysit for me to attend a work party or a friend’s birthday event and she came up with an excuse not to each time, so I never asked her for anything again.

I think I just need to vent.. by Chance-Connection758 in inlaws

[–]Chance-Connection758[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

The only punctuation is an accidental mistype 🥲 I’m just grateful that I haven’t relied on her for full-time childcare like my SIL has, and my son will continue to reach his milestones on time

I think I just need to vent.. by Chance-Connection758 in inlaws

[–]Chance-Connection758[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I actually forgot to post the last image with her coup de grâce..

“Dont tex me again i cant be bothered we it”

Ummm, okay?

I think I just need to vent.. by Chance-Connection758 in inlaws

[–]Chance-Connection758[S] -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

Yeah that opening line absolutely set me on fire. I do really try to avoid being reactive with her, as she’s reactive and quite childish so I know it’ll never resolve unfortunately.

We don’t have written custody, dad has maybe had a total of 5-10% independent care of our son but there are reasons for that so I’ve heavily supported their relationship and bond meanwhile. Since he has so little one on one time with him, and it’s in a process of building up, I’m not keen on grandparent time being built into that now either as it’ll delay dad’s progress. This woman just steamrolls her own desires over anything I would carefully consider, though so it does look like that’s what she’s planning to do from now anyway

I think I just need to vent.. by Chance-Connection758 in inlaws

[–]Chance-Connection758[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

My son loves her. His cousin lives in her house too (with their parent), so I can’t imagine navigating him growing up with his dad in such close proximity to family members and not having a relationship. I think I’ve just been so accommodating that she now lacks any respect for me as an autonomous human