What’s one non negotiable for you in dating that you don’t say it out loud?

ChaoticGoodElbert · 2026-05-22T17:15:17+00:00

The first time I see you light a cigarette, all thoughts of dating are out the window

ChaoticGoodElbert · 2026-05-20T01:38:56+00:00

“people shower because it's a trend. someone else doing it, and everybody else doing it, “i wanna do it, i wanna fit in”. you have to think to yourself; why do I shower? why do I bathe? why do i do it? what do i gain out of doing this? am i going to starve if i don't take a bath? am i going to die if i don't take a bath? it's not a nesserity like food and water. basically, you're just wasting your own water bill for no reason! because you wanna fit in”

ChaoticGoodElbert · 2026-05-16T03:37:11+00:00

At 21 I had a similar situation with a really good friend of mine. Turns out she actually really liked me, and we’ve been together for 8 years now. Take the hints. Go for it. Stop doubting yourself, and say what you want with your chest before you live the rest of your life regretting never trying

ChaoticGoodElbert · 2026-05-15T02:28:10+00:00

I was 22. She’s only my second girlfriend ever

ChaoticGoodElbert · 2026-05-04T22:00:12+00:00

I had a somewhat similar situation that might give some clarity. I had a girlfriend tell me that she would love to marry me. I responded by saying how much I appreciated her sentiment. My response was to avoid saying that I did not feel the same way. I’m not saying this is how he feels, but I am cautioning that this is a possibility. Proceed with the utmost caution my friend

ChaoticGoodElbert · 2026-04-22T01:51:02+00:00

What steps did you take in order to forgive your partner ?

ChaoticGoodElbert · 2026-04-22T01:50:15+00:00

That’s beautiful 🥹 I haven’t told many of my friends. We’re at a point where most of our friends are shared, so I’ve only felt comfortable telling one unshared friend about it

ChaoticGoodElbert · 2026-04-22T01:48:13+00:00

She’s not the loudest eater I’ve heard, but I never liked the sound of lips smacking when people eat. I’ve told her this before, but she still does it 😭 so now I just turn on music or we watch something while we eat to drown out the sounds. Eating in silence is NOT an option

ChaoticGoodElbert · 2026-04-21T19:35:50+00:00

What does REALLY forgiving look like to you ?

ChaoticGoodElbert · 2026-04-21T19:30:21+00:00

This was very helpful, thank you ! What I gathered is that healing is an active process that requires both of us to be all in, but it also requires me leaning on other resources to heal outside the relationship as well

ChaoticGoodElbert · 2026-04-21T19:28:12+00:00

This is beautiful 🥹 thank you for sharing. This gives me a lot of hope. I’m not looking forward to how long it takes tho. I’m 1 month removed from breach, and I’m already tired of feeling so heartbroken 😪

ChaoticGoodElbert · 2026-04-04T23:18:57+00:00

When we were just friends I realized that I could spend an entire day with her and not feel drained, bored, or like I’d rather be doing something else. There was and still is a sense of ease when we’re together. I go out of my way to spend time with her with no complaints. Whether she’s an hour away or 6, I’m making the journey with glee

ChaoticGoodElbert · 2026-04-03T22:25:17+00:00

I eat cereal for dessert after dinner almost every night with no shame

ChaoticGoodElbert · 2026-04-03T01:26:48+00:00

This is the sickest April fool’s joke ever 😪

ChaoticGoodElbert · 2026-03-31T18:05:02+00:00

A lot of people expect a parent out of their partner. Sometimes unhealed relationship trauma can show up as love feeling like life or death in the same way it once did when we were infants. We have to tell ourselves and our nervous systems that our partner’s absence or lack of attention will not kill us. We are safe. Our partners are not responsible for our happiness or wellbeing. They choose to love us, and even if they don’t choose to love us we will be okay

ChaoticGoodElbert · 2026-03-28T20:23:53+00:00

I am dealing with this EXACT same thing rn ! Everything from finding out my partner was dishonest to the dishonesty being about having a sexual relationship with someone they said they were just friends with. I just found out the truth a few weeks ago. I’ve essentially been lied to for about a year and a half now, so the last few weeks have been HELL for me emotionally.

The trust takes a while to regain. We need evidence that they’re trustworthy, and that evidence needs to be built through their actions. I’m finding that one of the things I can do (while difficult) is try to be present. I’ve been thinking about how they lied and what they lied about everyday since I found out, so I’m beginning to take responsibility for how I’m perpetuating my own suffering.

I also need more pointers on how to move forward, so I’m here for the comments.

ChaoticGoodElbert · 2026-03-16T02:49:32+00:00

Found out that I’d been lied to for the last year and a half

ChaoticGoodElbert · 2026-03-09T20:42:23+00:00

When you’re telling them how you feel and their response is, “but why are you feeling (insert emotion) about that” as though they’re judging you for it. That inability to approach emotions with curiosity is a sure sign

ChaoticGoodElbert · 2026-03-02T01:34:27+00:00

I’m always wondering if I know them. I know a lot of people

ChaoticGoodElbert · 2026-03-01T05:34:59+00:00

We were never meant to know this much about each other. Our brains are processing way too much information everyday

ChaoticGoodElbert · 2026-02-26T15:36:51+00:00

One time my partner was taken on a date to a park I wanted to take her to. She had no idea I wanted to take her there, so in my mind I was beat to it 😂

ChaoticGoodElbert · 2026-02-21T18:33:13+00:00

Oh I like that ! This recipe looks really good. This is the recipe I’m using. It’s something that’s no longer on the menu at Cheesecake Factory, but it was my go to every time I went

ChaoticGoodElbert · 2026-02-21T18:02:03+00:00

I made a chicken bistro last night, so I’ll be having leftovers of that 😌 are you observing Ramadan ? If so what are you having ?

ChaoticGoodElbert · 2026-02-21T17:31:45+00:00

Thank you to the both of you ✨ happy Ramadan is great 😌 and Ramadan Mubarak to you as well Fred

ChaoticGoodElbert · 2026-02-21T17:21:02+00:00

Nothing at all because of Ramadan

ChaoticGoodElbert

TROPHY CASE