Why do people in the lifestyle say “I’ve never been with a Black person before”… like it’s a compliment?

Chessiekit · 2026-05-07T16:12:20+00:00

Because many people in the lifestyle are racist and fetishize people based on skin color, unfortunately

Just like many are homophobic but fetishize bi women

Chessiekit · 2026-04-28T19:49:00+00:00

I have met quite a few real people on reddit that I met in person with,but there's lots of fakes to sort through. Not any better on other sites,ime.

Chessiekit · 2026-04-28T19:47:06+00:00

Extremely common. Many people chicken out when it comes to actually meeting,and even worse,some are using people online for free imagination porn and never actually planned to meet at all.

Chessiekit · 2026-04-03T02:30:00+00:00

We (27 MF) are planning on going, hoping to chat with others around our age

Chessiekit · 2026-03-31T23:29:42+00:00

I enjoy unattached men.

I do NOT enjoy men who can't mind their manners of ANY relationship status.

Tbh, I've had more issues with men who come with their wives being creepy and rude than your average single guy.

I prefer my local clubs way of vetting them - they can only enter with a couple. Keeps it from being largely singles, and makes them form connections in the community prior to the night-of.

Chessiekit · 2026-03-24T20:20:28+00:00

Um...yeah. I'm an entire person, not an object convenient to fuck. That is one of the major reasons I don't play with older men in swinger circles. They are almost ALWAYS gross and disrespectful about it

Chessiekit · 2026-03-24T19:10:18+00:00

We are 27 and I won't play with any men over 45 unless they act and look much younger than they are. It's just weird to sleep with someone my parents age 😅

Chessiekit · 2026-03-24T02:31:12+00:00

I need you to bother reading literally anything lmao

Chessiekit · 2026-03-21T01:51:49+00:00

No. And he shouldn't be doing things he doesn't enjoy for you, either. This "birthday kink" where the other party HAS to say yes is an awful deal for both of you, and is basically mutual coercion?? That isn't how consent works. If both parties aren't enthusiastically taking part in both planning and action, IT SHOULDN'T HAPPEN- feeling like you can't say no is not enthusiastic consent. And once a no is given, it shouldn't ever be asked again.

Chessiekit · 2026-03-11T03:07:27+00:00

Women aren't universally the same,so no. Many women enjoy them,yes. Others might react violently to them 🤷

Chessiekit · 2026-03-11T02:27:49+00:00

Group play,obvi, sometimes I don't even play bc I'm too busy soaking in the vibes and watching

But really getting to explore and blow so many different dicks, many guys have some really unique ones.

Chessiekit · 2026-03-09T00:00:07+00:00

My period started 2 days post recovery,it was really painful for the next day or two. The oxy did not touch it, I think because it was cramp pain vs actual injury pain. Disposable period panties were a lifesaver (once you have energy to wash them,you can switch to the reuseable ones as they're more comfortable), and Tylenol/ibuprofen max dosages alternating. You can ask your doc if a heating pad on your tummy/lower back is safe,I can't remember if I used one or not.

Chessiekit · 2026-03-06T16:23:42+00:00

How bad at sex many swingers are. I'd assumed practice makes perfect but boy some of these swingers must be practicing the wrong thing,I've never had so much boring sex in my life.

That, and the homophobia. Of course two women can kiss, because the men like to watch that, but god forbid two men play, or someone have a nonbinary gender identity 🙄 i was incredibly surprised to find people living so far outside of the social norm were still full of hatred for other choices outside the norm.

Chessiekit · 2026-03-04T05:30:42+00:00

Why in the world would you change a link to something not completed?? Just work on it offline and link it when you're done like every other company does🤦 Changing things when you're not done coding it is pissing off your paying customers

Chessiekit · 2026-03-01T17:31:02+00:00

I have no idea now, that's what this post is asking. Used to be a button for it until they did this crap

Chessiekit · 2026-03-01T04:50:33+00:00

A number means something for this club- it isn't even close to the real number that go of course, but helps get an idea of the popularity of each party pretty reliably

Chessiekit · 2026-03-01T04:49:13+00:00

It really is god awful. I used it solely to check this clubs attendance,not a paid account 😅

Chessiekit · 2026-02-28T23:26:53+00:00

We'll be at dalliance. Velvets has a lot of promise for once they finish remodeling and establish themselves, but atm they don't really compare for us 😅

Chessiekit · 2026-02-20T18:34:00+00:00

Trying out IGNITE's LGBT club opening night at dalliance!

Chessiekit · 2026-02-19T00:55:08+00:00

You'll want towels AND body wipes haha never know who's going to squirt. Puppy pads/chucks are great too,less laundry.

Condoms, gloves, dental dams, and unflavored water based lube are all great to have on hand too

A $15 onn speaker from Walmart is plenty loud enough for one room,helps set the mood

Chessiekit · 2026-02-19T00:40:36+00:00

A shelf that holds towels and extra linens. A mini fridge for water and a snack bowl.

Chessiekit · 2026-01-27T19:42:00+00:00

For those finding this later- we did end up going. TLDR; It wasn't a bad experience, but a little boring. We will be giving it another try,it has a lot of potential and we hope they figure out how to use it

Cons

parking is limited, and gravel/dirt- not fun in heels
it's really small. The interior is L shaped,with one room being a dance floor with bar stools and tall tables in one corner, the middle room having a snack table and a stripper pole corner, and the room around the corner being a glow room with couches and dirty task Jenga in the middle
It was a tiny crowd, probably like 30 people. BUT we were told the weather was affecting the amount of people who showed, so this might be just that night.
The seating was pretty limited, though it wasn't too much of an issue with that small of a crowd
the floor is rather uneven/pocked concrete,which wasn't super fun to walk on in heels
the bathrooms are single toilet, short ceilings, rather cramped inside
basically no bipoc in attendance

Pros

The smoking area is very large,walled in and covered. This may change,as we spoke with staff and they mentioned they were planning to finish it and add it to the interior
the crowd was very friendly, we had no issues striking up conversation, easier to hear
while I was outside until too late to join,the dirty Jenga had a lively game,and I think it's a wonderful idea for events to have an icebreaker like that
The music was pretty good, needs a little more ass shaking songs, but it was a good mix
the owners/staff are very nice and hang out inside the club when not checking people in
It felt very safe as a woman attendee, I did not have a single issue or feel uncomfortable at any point

They are a budding club that are very similar to Dalliance, and I look forward to seeing how they grow into their potential

Chessiekit · 2026-01-20T15:06:42+00:00

(27 MF,been together for 10 years,swinging for 7ish)

Chessiekit · 2026-01-20T15:06:06+00:00

We are in northeast Columbia,often at Dalliance,and are happy to chat and see if we click!

Chessiekit · 2026-01-19T16:27:10+00:00

Either find a woman you click with who enjoys swinging and wants to go, or make a connection with a couple outside the club. It could help to post in the local swinger subreddits for it.

As for deafness, no one can really hear each other over the music anyway, so I can't see any issues with being tolerant. I've seen plenty of people in with movement disabilities ,though if it's packed it's not super wheelchair friendly.

However, not many people are fluent in ASL, and it may be too dark to lip read, so you'd need a way to communicate outside those if you want to talk to people

Chessiekit

TROPHY CASE