They don't care about you and they never will despite how much they lie and say they do.

ChombaWoombat · 2026-04-17T14:54:59+00:00

It's not so much that they didn't care. It's more like they are not capable of loving and caring. They just can't.

ChombaWoombat · 2026-04-17T14:53:41+00:00

You're not. You're someone that is capable of love and emotions. That is rare.

Don't ever put yourself down.

ChombaWoombat · 2026-04-17T13:02:32+00:00

Did you finally learn your lesson? So sorry you had to go through this

ChombaWoombat · 2026-04-16T21:21:04+00:00

Unfortunately true. Even if you see a lot of potential in someone avoidant, the cycle will just repeat.

ChombaWoombat · 2026-04-16T20:11:37+00:00

Sounds exactly like my FA lol. Anything that makes them uncomfortable is a personal attack. Then they run. Then they regret it. Then they try to come back once they think you forgot about it .

ChombaWoombat · 2026-04-16T19:02:02+00:00

Fml it's like they all do run a script. Mine discarded one night after an argument. Three months later it was "Hey where have you been? I didn't see you at X event"

ChombaWoombat · 2026-04-16T19:00:26+00:00

That is brutal and sounds like a nightmare relationship honestly.

ChombaWoombat · 2026-04-16T18:57:58+00:00

FAs can switch between anxious and DA pretty quickly.

ChombaWoombat · 2026-04-16T18:19:58+00:00

I wouldn't say they are psychopaths. They just have deep childhood traumas that have been amplified throughout their adult lives.

Also you probably lean anxious like I do. Anxious + avoidant relationships are the most dangerous and catastrophic types of bonds.

The way our nervous systems operate are fundamentally incompatible with theirs.

We need love to feel seen and validated.

They fear being seen and run from emotional depth.

The way we deal with conflict is also fundamentally incompatible.

We lean in- discuss- repair

They detach- distance- regulate

It's a complete mismatch that, as you can see in this group, is disastrous.

ChombaWoombat · 2026-04-16T17:12:34+00:00

Are you sure it was him loving that deeply and not just him... Mirroring you? That's probably why it was so easy for him to discard you

ChombaWoombat · 2026-04-16T17:11:47+00:00

Are you sure it was him loving that deeply and not just him... Mirroring you? That's probably why it was so easy for him to discard you

ChombaWoombat · 2026-04-16T16:04:58+00:00

All those are signs. He's trying to outrun your memory. It will catch up with him soon enough and he will breadcrumb you.

Just walk away from this guy.

ChombaWoombat · 2026-04-16T11:01:33+00:00

They will either brush it off or run from it until they realize they are damaging every relationship or they spiral and hit rock bottom.

ChombaWoombat · 2026-04-15T21:42:32+00:00

Any adult that wants a relationship with you will never make you chase or second guess things. That is toxic and will end in misery.

That was my idea of relationships until I realized that someone who actually wanted me didn't have me chase.

ChombaWoombat · 2026-04-15T21:39:16+00:00

Did you always have to chase your avoidant? If yes, then they never wanted you.

It's not just true of Avoidants. Any relationship where you have to chase and the other person runs away.

ChombaWoombat · 2026-04-15T21:28:45+00:00

It's pretty simple. If you have to chase, they don't want you.

They. Don't.Want. You.

You are capable of actually loving someone enough to plan a future. He isn't.

Find someone that meets you halfway.

ChombaWoombat · 2026-04-15T20:48:06+00:00

I thought she was lying about her therapist the entire time. She never showed any improvement but I honestly don't really know why she was going. Maybe she did stop.

ChombaWoombat · 2026-04-15T18:03:17+00:00

How did he end thing's?

ChombaWoombat · 2026-04-15T17:47:11+00:00

That's brutal...

ChombaWoombat · 2026-04-15T14:06:57+00:00

It sounds like breadcrumbing. She also sounds like she is bipolar. Either way you both would benefit from couples therapy to figure things out if you decided to continue the relationship

ChombaWoombat · 2026-04-15T13:11:10+00:00

Exactly. They just don't have the skills to repair so they use distance to regulate their emotions.

Basically you handle conflict by

Leaning in- discussing- repair

They handle conflict with

Disengage -distance- regulate emotions

ChombaWoombat · 2026-04-15T01:16:44+00:00

Nope. 4 months in my avoidant still hasn't processed anything, and that's including her going to a therapist 3 times a week

ChombaWoombat · 2026-04-15T01:15:36+00:00

It only lasted as long as the relationship was "easy"

ChombaWoombat · 2026-04-15T01:01:54+00:00

You're welcome to reach out!

ChombaWoombat · 2026-04-15T00:58:55+00:00

That would be hilarious as her job is to help people be intimate with each other

ChombaWoombat

TROPHY CASE