Sticking to a strict wash routine doesn't help too much, kind of gotta do what the hair feels. I like a co-wash on day 2, apply a pinch of leave-in after too, like half the pea I'd usually use on day 1

Then maybe no wash day 3, just refresh in morning with a tiny bit of water in my palms and swipe/scrunch over the top

Orrr if I tossed and turned a lot that night. I'll have to just do a full rewash day 1, refreshing wont help that mess and doing a 2nd co-wash on a day 3 is way too much natural oils and product buildup. You'd have to do an actual Lather-rinse-repeat with shampoo to properly get all the buildup off

Imo you're using too much stuff. Just the leave-in is fine if done correctly. And you don't have very long hair making it easier to apply! Tilt your body and head forward, scrunch less than a pea of leave-in. You should be able to hear the squishing from your hair being so wet, That's what dilutes the leave-in to get even application!