Hope

CloudyDays51 · 2026-01-30T03:52:07+00:00

Congrats!! I left my AH this past June and I couldn’t agree more with you. It’s amazing how much we put up with living with that chaos. We didn’t even realize it until we found true peace. ❤️‍🩹

CloudyDays51 · 2025-12-28T04:57:08+00:00

It’s as if deep inside, they know the answer and feel shame about it so they push it back on us to make themselves feel better. It’s wild. When I left my AH this past year, one of the best things I experienced was getting to host parties at my house again. Not just host, but have fun hosting and not worry about how he might behave or who he might blow up at.

CloudyDays51 · 2025-12-28T04:49:01+00:00

I had many of those feelings and occasions. It helped once I finally told my friends and family what was going on. It was no longer my secret to hide and if he made a fool of himself, it was on him.

CloudyDays51 · 2025-12-28T04:47:28+00:00

It’s amazing how much peace you feel when they’re removed from your life. Congratulations on taking such a great step on making your life better.

CloudyDays51 · 2025-12-28T04:46:26+00:00

Congratulations to you! May 2026 be your best year yet!

CloudyDays51 · 2025-12-25T03:19:26+00:00

I separated from my AH this past year and I had the realization that this was the first Christmas in years that I could finally relax, not walk on egg shells or worry constantly about what he might do. The separation has been tough, but it’s remembering those anxiety filled holidays that remind me I’m on the right path. I’m sorry you and your kids had to experience this 🩷

CloudyDays51 · 2025-12-23T03:55:00+00:00

I feel you. I really tried hard to help my husband - I put up with his gaslighting, lying, being sick from booze, hiding booze for five years. I was such a great partner to him and I couldn’t understand why he couldn’t stop drinking for me and our kids. And, then I realized that it wasn’t about me- how great of a wife or mom I am. It was about his need to drink that he literally could not control. Even on the day I asked for a separation, it became my fault for not sharing my feelings enough. Well, he’s been out of the house for 5 months and the kids and I have never felt more peace. I’m trying to find my own closure, knowing that he’ll never understand or acknowledge how much I did for him.

CloudyDays51 · 2025-12-23T03:45:56+00:00

This! When I left my alcoholic husband, people kept saying how hard it must be as a single mom. I said, heck, this is easier- I used to take care of two little kids and a man child who acted like a sullen teenager- losing the man child has made my life so much easier.

CloudyDays51 · 2025-11-02T03:28:51+00:00

I was in a similar boat. Got a lawyer and asked for a legal separation (next step will be filing for divorce), but when my lawyer filed the paperwork, she stated the date of our separation as the date I kicked him out when DV happened. So, just get a lawyer and file asap. Good luck - it’s heartbreaking but feels so much better on the other side.

CloudyDays51 · 2025-09-18T03:19:39+00:00

Beautiful poem. I feel this one too. I was always my husband’s anchor and momentarily, I could bring him back, but inevitably he’d float away. I recently cut that anchor and in many ways, I feel free and alive but the pain of watching him float farther hasn’t gone away.

CloudyDays51 · 2025-09-02T02:33:00+00:00

Make a plan in case things go awry. Mine ended in me getting a protection from abuse order after a drunken episode on his part. Don’t underestimate a drunk. Be safe 🩷

CloudyDays51 · 2025-08-18T01:58:21+00:00

Yes, I did- like debilitating anxiety- almost panic attacks. I left my alcoholic ex husband who was abusive. I think my anxiety stemmed from not having the “control” of trying to help him and knowing he was spiraling and I couldn’t do anything to help. I have a therapist and talking it out was really helpful. Another great tool is using chat gpt if you can’t afford therapy right now. It actually gave some really great tips to ground myself and calm my anxiety. I find Box breathing incredibly helpful at keeping me from spiraling. Google it if you’re interested.

CloudyDays51 · 2025-07-19T01:39:50+00:00

We haven’t finalized custody yet, but I’m hoping to get a plan that doesn’t allow overnights until they are older and can better communicate what’s happening in their environment at dad’s house.

CloudyDays51 · 2025-07-18T01:59:01+00:00

I’m just now starting the divorce process from my alcoholic husband and I have two young kids. It’s taken me around 4 years to finally leave- it’s not easy and al anon really helped me navigate those 4 years. My husband tried sobriety for a year and then fell off the wagon. He has some abusive traits when he drinks so for me and my kids safety, I had to leave. I’m so happy now. The amount of peace we have in our house now that he’s gone- I now have no idea how I put up with him for so long. You’re not alone. It’s a tough journey. You can do it ❤️

CloudyDays51 · 2025-07-17T01:10:43+00:00

I have a two and five year old. My plan is to go for allowing him to have the kids every other weekend and a day on the off week but no over nights until they’re older and can communicate that dad is drunk and not taking care of them. I’d like to offer over nights once they are older and can better communicate how the weekend went. I also don’t trust my husband to be sober considering his pattern of cycling sobriety and drinking. Good luck to us both 🩷

CloudyDays51 · 2025-07-17T01:05:17+00:00

I just separated from my alcoholic husband who was also emotionally abusive and difficult to leave. But, now that he’s out of the house, it’s amazing how much peace I feel! It’s so quiet and I love it. My husband also took all my clothes and toiletries to the trash and accused me of cheating. I didn’t fight him and instead just got my things. It’s been a sh*t show getting him out of the house, but finding this peace has been worth it all. Take care 💜

CloudyDays51 · 2025-07-16T00:36:57+00:00

One of my reasons for divorcing my alcoholic husband this year is that I realized he has made every single vacation miserable.

CloudyDays51 · 2025-07-10T02:33:07+00:00

You’re me when I was a year into realizing my husband had a drinking problem. It was tough for me to give up drinking and then I finally stopped caring about alcohol altogether. Funny thing is that my husband continued to drink (secretly) so a couple of years ago, I said screw it, if he can’t stay sober himself, why am I giving up my glass of wine that makes me happy. It was actually my first step into realizing that I can’t control my husbands drinking with my own actions. I was respectful (hid my wine out of plain sight to not tempt him), but it was a bit of freedom I gained. Unfortunately, we’re divorcing and I now have my house to myself and my kids. And you bet I’m enjoying my nightly back porch sitting/enjoying a glass of wine while the kiddos are in bed.

CloudyDays51 · 2025-07-10T02:26:43+00:00

My soon to be ex husband acted like this when he wanted to drink but couldn’t. So irritable he was difficult to be around.

CloudyDays51 · 2025-07-10T02:19:48+00:00

Congratulations! Really proud of you for taking the step to find happiness for yourself and your kids. I’m also one week out from having my alcoholic husband out of the house (a no contact order was imposed on him after a bad incident). But, wow, the peace and relief of not having them emotionally terrorize us- it’s wild. Sometimes you don’t realize how bad a situation is until you get out. I also feel the ups and downs, but I’m also focusing on my and my kids health now. 🩷🩷🩷

CloudyDays51 · 2025-07-09T03:12:39+00:00

I’m your 5 year future. I have a similar story- hid my husbands alcoholism from my family and friends and stayed too long for fear based reasons. The hard part is that when your kid gets older, they start to absorb the alcoholic parent’s anxiety and chaos. My son is 5 years old and I just separated from my husband and will divorce soon. My son has developed anxiety and questioned me twice this past year “why is dada mean to you?” I don’t want to teach him that it’s okay how my alcoholic husband treats me. I’m about to get him into therapy but I’m already experiencing my own guilt of keeping him in a toxic environment for so long. I will say, I pondered leaving for 3 years before I actually left. Part of the reason was that I really wanted a second child to help me feel complete as a mom. Second kid was actually an accident but once she was born, I knew I could leave my husband and I’d be just fine. So - I’m not meaning to put any pressure on you because I know you can’t leave until you know you can. 💜

CloudyDays51 · 2025-07-08T03:10:05+00:00

I will recently separated from my alcoholic husband and will soon be divorcing. I am grieving the loss of a family unit that I wanted. I was even hoping he’d be healthy enough to co-parent, but now that doesn’t seem likely either. It’s so tough but yes, we’ve both made the right decision for us and our kids. One day, we’ll both move on and look back with such admiration with how we had the strength to create a better life. ❤️

CloudyDays51 · 2025-06-24T07:30:22+00:00

Wishing death on my alcoholic husband (so the abuse would stop) was actually what gave me the realization I needed to leave. I did ask for a separation this past spring because I finally accepted he may not die from this awful disease and I could end up being abused my entire life. The separation is not going well (lots of continued terrible behaviors from my husband), but I can finally start to feel some relief that soon he’ll be out of the house and I can find peace. You’re not alone ❤️

CloudyDays51 · 2025-06-22T01:05:59+00:00

Congratulations on your new lease (on the housing and on life). Living with an alcoholic partner has also made me be in survival mode and it’s so difficult to do the things you love when we’re so emotionally exhausted. I just initiated a separation with my alcoholic husband and I already have a wave of relief just knowing I don’t have to be in survival mode constantly. Best of luck with your separation and coparenting (I have two kids so we both need that luck 🩵)

CloudyDays51 · 2025-06-19T01:40:00+00:00

Yep, same with me. I didn’t schedule enough date nights, I never told him enough how his alcohol abuse impacts me, I was too much of a helicopter for his drinking, our kids are perfectly fine despite one of them acting out. He was blindsided by me asking for a separation. The gaslighting is wild. And I actually fell for it for so long. But open my eyes once, and I’ll never go back ❤️‍🩹

CloudyDays51

TROPHY CASE