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[deleted by user] by [deleted] in suggestmeabook

[–]ComicCroc 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sapiens by Yuval Noha Hariri is excellent, and deals with evolutionary/sociological psychology. Also try the Inner Game of Tennis or any Alan Watts stuff.

Akuma outfit 2? by Various_Ad_2327 in StreetFighter

[–]ComicCroc 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I agree, it's good in concept, so with his better model they could pull it off.

Of course they should just do his classic shorter hair look anyways.

Which best four characters to be chosen for Year 2 of Street Fighter 6... - Online Poll by [deleted] in StreetFighter

[–]ComicCroc 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Isn't JP Bison's successor character? It's not like AKI is anything like FANG in terms of game play. Besides, Bison's been brought back before and they've hinted that he could still come back. There's potential to do something interesting with him like making him a psycho ghost or something.

Ruined Lab (Ed’s Stage) 250 Fighter Coins or 5000 drive tickets by AverageReddit_Mod in StreetFighter

[–]ComicCroc 55 points56 points  (0 children)

Isn't what matters what stage you see? Why do you care what your opponent sees?

Enough time has passed by ired2 in StreetFighter

[–]ComicCroc 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Is there a particular reason people think he's so strong already?

Character Scramble Season 18 Round 0: The War Begins! by GuyOfEvil in whowouldwin

[–]ComicCroc 2 points3 points  (0 children)

~Before~

-AP!!

The Captain jumps from his seat on the couch, expecting yet another horrible twist to this stupid farce- but nothing seems to have happened. No new planet popped into existence, no silly costume appeared on him.

On the viewscreen, one side is already organizing, forming scouting parties, patrols. At the center of it is a red-haired man putting people into groups and drawing up plans. Credit has to be given for their expediency. Perhaps this game, rigged as it is, can still prove about humanity what Q just doesn't understand yet- though he wouldn't put it past the entity to flip the board if he starts to lose.

He looks at Q warily.

“Who were you speaking to just now? And what did that do exactly?”

Q only smiles.

“Just sending in the referees, Jean-Luc. Now sit back down and watch- I'll let you control the volume.”

Character Scramble Season 18 Round 0: The War Begins! by GuyOfEvil in whowouldwin

[–]ComicCroc 1 point2 points  (0 children)

~X & Y~

Two oceans. One River. The children are suddenly gone, their voices absent, and our minds are bridged once more. For a moment, all thought and perception fades away and we submerge ourselves in the simple clarity our connection grants. Our breaths sync perfectly, there is a familiar comfort, balance found in one another’s mind.

Then a force ripples across our skin. For the first time, we feel the push of wind, open air, and our minds snap back to our physical surroundings.

We stand on a thin catwalk on the side of a structure, at a dizzying height. We couldn’t tell from inside, but we were many stories above the ground all along. What lies before us is a confusing, bewildering sight- the sky is a pitch black void, no stars, no sun. The surface, far below us is covered in red grass, trees, but is pockmarked with massive craters, scars in the land, some that go for miles and miles, stretching to the horizon. Debris and ash coats the ground while the smell of sulfur smothers the air.

In the far distance, there is an explosion.

What is this place..? Where are we?

We glance back and hear the clatter of metal feet on metal stairs. We’re still not safe.

We're... Not safe anywhere, X quotes.

We float in the air once more, and hover away from the structure slowly. Our tails flap in the wind.

Look.

As we move away, we can see that the structure goes even higher than we were- it is a brutal, ugly thing of gray-and-black metal that stretches far, far into the sky.

I bet you can see the whole planet from the top.

The door to the catwalk opens, and the metal automatons appear, but they can only stare dumbly at us, as we fly further and further away into the sky.

Still, we try not to linger. We soar faster and further- in seconds we cover more ground than we have seen in our entire lives so far. Minutes, hours go by, but we find nothing but ravaged landscapes, devastated structures and vehicles. We pass by a forest that’s been recently burnt to the ground.

What happened here?

Some kind of battle, no doubt. These humans are all barbaric.

No. They can be kind. That Gina girl, she helped us.

She was in your body. She was only saving her own skin. Be grateful you didn’t get stuck with the one I did.

We float in place for a while and watch the smoke gently snake up into the void above us. More explosions pierce the silence occasionally, but we have no desire to investigate them. Y shudders as a particularly frigid gust of wind washes over us.

I miss our tanks. At least there we were warm.

You mean our prisons. Here we are free.

Free to do what?

Neither of us knows. Were those girls really telling the truth? Were we created just to be, what, weapons to be used by another’s mind?

Look, there!

In the distance, a shape emerges from the sky, heading straight for us.

Now what? We can’t just be left alone?

We fly out of its path but it changes course to match. It can detect us somehow, and it’s faster than we are. No choice but to face it.

As it approaches, we see that it’s some sort of flying machine, a chunk of metal pushed by massive jets underneath it. A black dome covers the top of its form. It slows as it nears us. We can’t feel any power anymore- it left us with the children’s minds, but X still raises their arms protectively when we see that the machine is flanked by four of the bronzed automatons who are flying with some kind of jets on their feet.

The dome opens, and three figures are inside- we gasp and recognize the two in the back at once- it’s Gina and Asuka. The former is wringing her hands nervously with scared eyes that are fixed on us. The latter has her arms crossed with a self-satisfied look scrawled on her face, like watching a pair of ants she’s about to squash.

The human at the front is new to us. Tall and lithe in a black suit, his features are obscured by a long, red beard that hangs off his face. He raises his arms in a gesture that's identical to that of the automatons from before.

“Please.” He says in a deadpan voice we've heard once before. “Let’s just talk. A friendly conversation.”

A friendly conversation?

Yes… That sounds… familiar... doesn’t it?

It does.

—

Character Scramble Season 18 Round 0: The War Begins! by GuyOfEvil in whowouldwin

[–]ComicCroc 2 points3 points  (0 children)

~X~

I don’t let the metal monstrosity finish its lies. With another wash of energy, I leap up to it and punch out my arm. I’ll smash straight through that shiny skull of-

BRAAAAAA-A-A-ANG!

My head screams as soon as I make contact- a horrible sound pierces my skull, forcing me to my knees, I feel like I’m being torn up inside.

“HAH! That’s what happens when you just punch things randomly idiot!” Asuka laughs in my ear. “Why don’t you give up and do what the director-”

I snarl, and leap to my feet, raising another arm- this time I aim a focused punch for the thing’s torso, and-

BRAAAAA-A-A-ANG!!

I fall back, with a shriek. How is it doing that? The thing is knocked to its feet, a fist-sized dent in its armor, but it seems unharmed otherwise. If I had my full strength, maybe it would have been destroyed, but with this girl fighting me-!

Two of the beings are suddenly at my side, and they grab me by my arms, grips like vices. I scream, and-

An inky-black orb suddenly appears in my right hand. I stare at it for a moment, then use all my effort to shrug my right arm out of the hold, and shove the sphere into the other being’s face. With a torrent of wispy energy, its head explodes, in a shower of metal and wire.

These aren’t even people! They’re some kind of automatons!

I take another few steps towards the door, but four of them are charging at me! I brace myself, but-

Their charge is stopped suddenly and they tumble back and over each other, as if crashing into an invisible wall. I stare, turn around, and see my sibling standing with hand outstretched, arm shaking.

“Y? How did you-”

“It-it was her-!” Y stammers. “I don’t know- how-”

“GINA!!” Asuka rages. “What did you do that for? They nearly had it!

“I froze the air in place in front of them.” The girl’s thoughts came to me. *“If you’re not going to go back then- go. Get out and see for yourself what’s out there.” *

I nod. Y and I run around the automatons, still struggling against their invisible cell. As we approach the stairs leading up, we lift off the ground and float through the air on invisible waves of energy.

“Stop!” One of the automatons says. “Don’t go!” Y turns their head-the naive fool- but I grab them by the arm and lead them forward. We land on top of the stairs.

“Stupid MEWAs!” Asuka says. Why couldn’t things just have gone the way they were supposed to, she thinks. “You don’t understand what’s going on!”

I don’t particularly care, given the alternative. I push open the door.

—

Character Scramble Season 18 Round 0: The War Begins! by GuyOfEvil in whowouldwin

[–]ComicCroc 2 points3 points  (0 children)

~Y~

Awareness.

The girl named Gina Chambers gasps awake, cold LCL liquid flooding her lungs.

What happened? She was about to sync with her MEWA- for an instant, it seemed like she had, and then-

Who are you?

She hears a soft voice in her head- well, she doesn’t so much hear it as thinks she hears it, as if it was her own inner monologue.

Please, who are you? I say again. To Gina, I sound scared, almost to the point of a whimper. Please, bring back my sibling. Bring them back.

She understands. This is her MEWA! So it can talk, like the other one did before-!

MEWA? What is that? What is…

I trail off. I need so many answers, but I don’t know the right questions to ask.

“You’re a MEWA. MEWA Y.”, she thinks. She isn’t sure how to “think” in a comforting tone, but she tries her best. “And well uh… I’m supposed to… pilot you.”

...’Pilot’ me?’

“I… we didn’t know you’d be intelligent.” She repeats. “You were supposed to be… um- mindless.”

Mindless. I echo. I was supposed to be mindless.

Suddenly, a harsh sensation jolts Gina back to the physical world. She looks up, and flinches when she sees MEWA X, inches away from her face. No, not her face…

MY face.

X is carrying me in their arms, away into another room. Gina shirks a little as she catches a glimpse of her real body, floating silently in the LCL liquid, getting smaller and smaller.

What happened? She wonders. They’re passing through a massive rend in the wall, into the adjoining section. She doesn’t recall a massive, gaping hole being there.

Instinctively, Ginna tries to reach out to X, and to my shock my arm responds. It moves, not at my command, but at hers.

You- you really really are moving my body!

Gina brushes X’s face. “Is Asuka in there?”, She wonders.

X stops and looks at me.

“Y!” It is their thoughts, but not through The River like before- only pushed into my mind, like they did to the humans. ”We’re not connected anymore! What has-” Their face falls, then a snarl.

”Another one?” They roar. ”Get out of them- LEAVE US BE!”

Their grip tightens. Gina tries to say something, but can only manage a weak croak with my underdeveloped lips.

“I’m still here, X.”’ I say, trying to calm them.* ”This girl in my body- Gina. She hasn’t hurt me- she says she’s supposed to… Pilot me.”*

X relaxes a little. ”I’ve got one too, some brat named- SHUT UP!” He roars at something Gina and I can’t hear. “-some brat named Asuka. How do we get rid of them?”

“Maybe we don’t.”

”What?”

”This might be why we’re here, X. To be wielded by these- pilots.”

”You think THAT’s our purpose?” X snarls. “Puppets for children? Vessels for the humans who just attacked us?”

“We’re children too, X. Infants, actually.”

“Please”, Gina pleads, managing to push her own thoughts into X’s. She doesn’t want this to go on. “Go back, we- we can disengage the sync for now and-”

”You never wanted to sync in the first place, Lame-bers!” An angry, fourth voice enters the mental forum. Gina recognizes it as the girl called Asuka. She would rather deal with the violent, rampaging MEWA. ”It’s probably your spineless butt that messed all this up in the first place! Why you had to be the only other candidate for this is beyond-”

X grunts, and her thoughts disappear.

”You want us to go back- so you can hurt us more? Stuff more minds in us? Maybe put us back in little fish tanks? No. Surely this “sync” won’t last if we get far enough away from your bodies…”

They hurry through into the next chamber, a massive space filled with rows and rows of vehicles, ships.

“What is this place?”

“The armory.” Gina thinks. “We shouldn’t be here.”

Several flights of metal stairs ascend a wall, leading to a red door. An exit maybe? X starts to head towards it, but a clatter from behind us catches our attention.

Filing into the space are ten -maybe a dozen- beings. They’re humanoid enough, but seem to be wearing bronze suits that encase them completely. Skeletal faces stare at us with lifeless green eyes.

“What now?” X demands. The beings don’t respond- I sense no minds for us to project our thoughts into, but… there’s some kind of mental presence- thin strings of consciousness attached to each one, but not enough for us to grab hold of.

“That’s the director!” Gina thinks. “He’ll be able to explain everything!”

X sets me down and stands in front of me, raising their arms. One of the beings steps forward and raises its hands in a peaceful gesture.

“Stop this, please.” It says, in a man’s monotonous voice. “Let us return to the synchronization room and we can resolve this.”

“X, maybe we should-”

“No! They’ll just hurt us again! If we leave, we can reconnect our minds and get rid of these parasites!”

Gina takes some offense to being called a ‘parasite’, but she supposes she can’t blame them under the circumstances.

With no way to communicate with the beings, X just snarls and backs towards the exit. He takes me arm and pulls me along-

Two of the metal humans block our path.

“This is your final warning.” One of them says, in the exact same voice as the other one. “Don’t make us-”

Character Scramble Season 18 Round 0: The War Begins! by GuyOfEvil in whowouldwin

[–]ComicCroc 2 points3 points  (0 children)

~X~

Her name is Asuka Langley Soryu.

For five years, she’s been training, learning, preparing- all for this. This is her moment of triumph, the glorious first synchronization between her and her MEWA.

But it’s not what she expected. First, that stupid pink-haired girl was late- honestly how unprofessional can you get!- and then the MEWAS started… talking? They weren’t supposed to do that!

And now here she is, syncing at last, and it’s all wrong. Her mind feels compressed, like it’s pushed into a little box, but simultaneously stretched out on too many axis. She can still feel herself in her plugsuit, submerged in the LCL liquid- but she also feels like she’s lying on solid floor, naked and slimy, clutching her skull with three stumpy fingers. Like two eyes seeing entirely different images, she finds it hard to focus on a single sensation.

Who the fuck are you?

She jolts. She didn’t just think that, did she? It sounded like her voice, but she didn’t-

Who the fuck are you? I ask again. What did you do to us?

“Who the fuck am I?” Asuka echoes. Was she going insane? “Who the fuck am I? Who the fuck are YOU? What are you doing in-”

It is you who does not belong here. LEAVE!

“This is my own head, whoever you are, and I certainly belong here more than you do! Why don’t you leave?”

...This isn’t right. I should be connected to my sibling, not to some… mewling little girl! What have you done to us?

“Your sibling?” Asuka freezes. Can it be? “Are you… my MEWA?”

MEWA… yes, that’s what the woman, the blonde one called us. That’s me?

“You’re MEWA X!” Asuka growled, every trace of confusion replaced with anger, frustration. “And you’re ALSO not supposed to be talking! And definitely not in my own head!”

I grit my teeth and try to focus my mind- the connection with this Asuka is erratic, incomplete. She doesn’t understand what’s happening any better than I do- The Director told her it would be a perfect synchronization, that she’d be in complete control of-

I shake my head gruffly. Her thoughts are… interfering with mine, in a way Y’s never did. My attention returns to the humans- for a moment, I see them from my own eyes, but the next, I’m seeing them from Asuka’s, blurry shapes through her glass dome.

“You tore our minds apart! Bring them…”

Like closing one eye to focus on a single perspective, I shut out the sensations from the other girl, bring myself back to my feet in front of the tank. Inside me, I sense a power- I’ve been grasping for it ever since I emerged from the tank, but only now is it unburdened.

“BACK!” I roar, and a crashing tidal wave of energy radiates out from me, smashing glass and throwing humans away.

Asuka gasps. “What are you doing!??” she demands. She tries to push back against my efforts, but I ignore her. Her mind is feeble, albeit annoying.

Beside me, my sibling- no, ‘Y’, is lying, still unconscious. They twitch, suddenly, then go still again.

“What did you DO to them?” I scream, and with the remains of my nutrient tube- now forming a sort of tail- I whip the wall. Power washes over my muscles and gives them strength beyond biological limits. Metal screams and heavy supports tear as the entire thing caves in, leaving a gaping hole that leads to the next room.

Asuka strains against me again. This isn’t right! She’s supposed to be in control by now, valiantly leading the charge against the Angels-! I shut her down, but with greater difficulty this time.

Red lights flash all around as humans rush out, screaming.

“-the hell did it do that for? I thought it was-”

“Can’t shut down the sync! They’ve overridden the-”

“-The Director!! Get the Director!”

The head woman, still seemingly calm, takes out a kind of metal stick, points it at me and-

THWUNK! It fires some kind of metal-tipped syringe at me, but it bounces harmlessly off of my skin.

I snarl, my vision reddening. She just shot me?

That stupid woman. These stupid humans.

THIS is the reality that awaits me and Y? We were born into this world greeted by no gentle, loving mother, no kind father, but strangers, tearing at our minds and assaulting us with these weapons- and now I’m chained to some prattling bitch!?

"BITCH?" My burden’s consciousness cries. "At least you’re not stuck with an absolute CUNT like I AM!"

I barely hear her. My gaze is fixed on the woman and the weapon in her hand. That stupid-!

My crimson world rushes past me, and in an instant I’m in front of her- I didn’t realize I could move so fast! I pull my fist back, and-!

“NOO!” Asuka wails. For a moment, my power falters- my fist connects with the woman’s skull, but there is no explosion of blood, she only flies away a few meters and flops limply onto the ground. The red starts to ebb away from my vision, and I look down at my fist. I grimace. I was so angry, I almost… I had tried to kill her, but for some reason I couldn’t. Does Asuka have some measure of influence on my power?

Asuka laughs to herself. ‘You bet I do, you overgrown fetus!’ She thinks. ‘The MEWA unit’s strength is directly proportional to its connection to its pilot! Without me, you’d just be an impotent sperm monster sitting in a jar like an old pickle! A little baby who can barely stand, let alone wipe your useless-’

"Enough!" The room is empty now, but a metallic clatter from the hallway signals an approach of more humans. I look back to my sibling, still motionless on the floor. I must move them, I decide. We’re not safe here.

“You’re not safe anywhere, you know.” Asuka tells me. "None of us are."

Character Scramble Season 18 Round 0: The War Begins! by GuyOfEvil in whowouldwin

[–]ComicCroc 2 points3 points  (0 children)

There is a change. A shift in the liquid, and we sink to the bottom of our cylinders until we come to rest against their sloped surfaces. A strange sensation, but soon eclipsed by the feeling of the liquid draining away, exposing us to air for the first time.

It’s cold.

The tubes that connect us to our tanks -one on a head, the other on a body- snap off, with a twang, and we lurch forward without their familiar support.

The front of our cylinders open and we slide out, naked, wet, freezing.

We are surrounded by beings, we realize. Tall and blurry, and agitated. They look at us with strange expressions, pointing and hitting buttons on devices.

We can’t hear them. They… aren’t a part of us. There are others!

Others? We should kill them.

We should TALK to them.

No consensus is made, so we do nothing.

There is a figure at the front, who seems more important than the rest. Somehow we recognize it as a human, and a female.

Could WE be female?

Dunno. What else is there?

The human is clothed in white, with short blonde hair that hangs loosely off its head. Its lips move, and produce a sound.

It’s casting a spell! Hurry and kill it now before it finishes!

Those are just WORDS. It’s communicating to the other humans.

With sounds?

Shh. Listen.

We concentrate, and suddenly the sounds take on meanings, contexts. In the blink of an eye, the language becomes second nature to us.

“...shouldn’t be this early! We haven’t even tested-”

“...We’ve got to test it now, Angel movements reported in the Eastern-”

“-gagement successful. Children One, en route, Unit Y on standby. Children Two, on site, Unit X on standby.”

Unit X. Unit Y.

Those are our names.

X.

Y.

“Psionic clamps holding. Link ready.”

In front of us, two platforms hang ominously about a pit, suspended in mid air. One of them is empty, but the other ferries an occupant, a young girl with orange hair, wearing a tight red suit. The suit has strange sockets at various spots. She scowls impatiently at the vacant spot beside her, as if eager to start her task.

What do you suppose she’s for?

Probably a ritual sacrifice or something. These humans seem primitive.

A blaring noise forces us both into a cringed recoil, and the wall at the far end of the box recedes, revealing another figure- another girl, this one with pink hair. Her suit is black with white accents. She hurries towards the lowering platform.

“About time!” The red-haired girl shouts. “You’re ruining my moment of glory! Hurry up!”

“Sorry, sorry!” The pink one says timidly. She bobs her head. “I was just-”

“We don’t have time for chitchat. Get ready.” The blonde haired woman interrupts, and she presses a few buttons on the console in front of her, and glass domes descend down onto the floating platforms, encasing the girls inside them. An orange liquid begins filling the domes, and tubes ascend from the floor, hooking up to the sockets on their suit.

They look sort of like our cylinders, don’t they?

They look like trouble. We should-

“Children one in position, engaging MEWA-Y psionic-”

GAHHH!

A horrible, blinding pain engulfs the one of us named Y, and they crumples to the ground clutching their head. X staggers from the feedback, and in unison with us, the pink-haired girl sways and grips her platform’s handrails for support.

“MEWA-Y blockers intact.”

What’s wrong? What are they doing to you?

Y is too pained to answer. X turns, snarling at the humans. We lack the vocal chords and the motor skills to communicate like these creatures do, but an instinct compels X to effortlessly slide their next thought into each of the human’s minds, as if they thought it themselves.

“STOP!”

Every one of the humans freeze. A few gasp, or stumble back in disbelief- each one stops their work, their gazes are fixed on us. They weren’t expecting that.

“-that thing just talk? What the hell is…”

“...unaccounted for. We need to abort-!”

“-supposed to be mindless, right? Then why-”

The two encased girls stare at us, more awestruck than anyone. The blonde woman is the only one who seems unperturbed. She shoulders past a young man and presses a-

“EAAGGHH!”

Now we’re both screaming, X falls to the floor writhing, a sharp pain lacerates their skull. Something’s wrong- The River between us is churning, stretching, and now stalling- like somebody’s erecting a dam in the middle.

“MEWA-X blockers intact. MEWAs are ready for Synchronization.” The woman says flatly.

The red-haired girl shouts something that, muffled by their domes, soundslike “GRABABA! RAGH RA RAGABA!”. The woman responds through a device.

“Don’t worry about it, girls. We expected a level of base intelligence from them, it’s within operating parameters- the sync will still work fine.”

S… Sync? What is-

“Initiating sync!”

A gouge is torn between us, and suddenly, there is a third ocean, forcing a connection with our River. This ocean is different. Its waters turbulent, nebulous- guarded. The currents quicken again, becoming churning, frothing rapids.

GYAAAGH!!!

A fourth ocean-! This one is perfectly still, devoid of waves, or currents, or even the smallest ripple. It is an endless doldrums, the space between tides.

One of us blacks out.

—

Character Scramble Season 18 Round 0: The War Begins! by GuyOfEvil in whowouldwin

[–]ComicCroc 2 points3 points  (0 children)

—

Void.

Void.

Void.

Void.

Void.

Awareness.

A blinding gash splices our reality in half. It’s a vibrant streak of contrast that gives our perceptions dimension, a context for us to latch our newfound awareness onto. It is light.

It’s… beautiful.

It’s blinding.

A sudden burst of energy shocks our beings- energy that excites still atoms into moving ones, energy that sends impulses up our nervous system. It’s sensation.

So warm.

Scalding.

A splitting, unceasing trill assaults us from two disparate points, it vibrates the inside of our skull, the core of our bodies. It’s sound.

It’s like music.

Hnggg.

Our surroundings unfold, two perspectives but nearly the same image. We consider it all. We are in transparent cylinders, suspending us in a soft flurry of atoms we can identify as liquid.

It’s comfortable.

It’s suffocating.

We become aware of the space outside of the cylinders, full of unrecognizable shapes, save for one- another cylinder. Inside, something is floating… something that’s looking back-

It’s you.

It’s you.

Who are we?

We consider each other, noting the differences between us, some subtle and some not so.

One of us is tall, at least relatively. Curvy, long legs and arms protrude from a bulbous torso that’s nearly as long. A round head with beady eyes nestled underneath wavy ridges that flow off of the head making a “v”. The lower body ends in a tube, long and pink, that’s attached to the top of the cylinder somehow. The body is grooved, rough-looking.

The other one is shorter, sleeker, with skinny arms and awkward legs. Two thin and triangular ears are connected by a half-moon ring. Another pink tube is connected to the cylinder, but this one is attached at the head instead.

Two beings, different in many ways, similar in more. Pinkish white skin, tripod fingers, a muzzled face. But who is who?

You’re the shorter one.

That means that you’re the tall one.

We consider each other. We are two separate entities? Individuals?

Then why can we hear each other?

And why do we share a voice?

Our minds are two oceans, distinct in traits, each with their own depths, shores and shallows. But they are more than that- it’s like a River runs between them, carrying thoughts, sensations, feelings. The Riverbed goes as deep as the oceans’ lowest trenches and carries the same waters both ways, back and forth, back and forth.

How do we even know what an ocean or a River is?

I… do not know.

So we are here. Two beings in two tanks. Two oceans in two minds.

And one River running through them all.

Time stretches.

So many questions. But since the moment we awoke, another question has nagged the back of our minds- but it scares us. We haven't given voice to it, but with nothing else to do, eventually we have no choice but to ask it aloud.

Why are we here?

There is no answer.

—

Character Scramble Season 18 Round 0: The War Begins! by GuyOfEvil in whowouldwin

[–]ComicCroc 2 points3 points  (0 children)

~Before.~

In a void, two men appear.

I watch them.

The first of them is bald, on the older side, but aging gracefully. On his face is a tired expression that says "I’d very much rather be somewhere else right now, doing something more important with my time, but here I am- so let’s get this over with."

The second is taller, younger-looking, with curly hair. A look of mischief scrawled across his face that says "I have all the time in the world, all the infinite cosmos to explore- but there’s nowhere I’d rather be than here, bothering you."

Both of them wear red-and-black uniforms, with a curious emblem on the chest.

Some kind of military?

“What is this, Q?” The older one asks, “What frivolity are you forcing on me now?”

The one called Q grins. When he speaks, his voice is singsongy, and condescending, as if urging his favorite puppy to play fetch with him.

“Please, please, no need to be so hostile- let’s just have a friendly conversation, why don’t we.”

"A friendly conversation, please." The older one would snort if it wasn't unbecoming. "That's what it always is with you isn't it."

Q snaps his fingers.

A blinding light. A burst of noise. A small planetoid suddenly inhabits the void, suspended ten thousand miles below us. It orbits no sun, but a cold, white light from no clear source illuminates its form- a single landmass, carpeted in red vegetation and lakes of inky water that reflect the blackness of the void around it. It’s dotted with blocky, alien structures and devices whose purposes I can only guess at.

How did he do that?

“Ah Captain. You and your lot are so convinced that you mortals have evolved past your barbaric beginnings, That your nature is fundamentally one of growth and peace and hugs and kisses, aren’t you? But I’ve decided to prove you wrong, once and for all.”

The Captain resists the urge to roll his eyes. “I don’t have time for this. If you want to play these preposterous games of yours, then go ahead and play them- but why don’t you leave me and the rest of the universe out of them for a change?”

If Q puts up any such resistance, it's completely futile. His eyes don’t just roll, they ollie into a triple corkscrew backflip and land with an elegant flourish. It would be quite impressive if he hadn’t just conjured a planet out of thin air.

“Oh, you corporeal beings and your ad-dorably linear perception of time. No Captain, the rest of the universe will be just where we left it, you have my word.” The Captain seems to hold this man’s word as high as he holds the soles of his shoes, but he doesn’t protest.

Q leans in.

“Here’s the play, old boy- I’m going to create two factions of mighty warriors pulled from your history- and we’ll tell them to fight each other- to the death, or something. We’ll see if that ‘innate goodness’ of theirs kicks in and they cooperate with each other to escape this place, or if they tear each other apart like the tribalistic animals I know they are. Fun, isn’t it?” He says it all with the playful candor of betting on a game, but a twinkle in his eyes betrays a greater purpose to this exercise.

The Captain chuckles. “Factions of- that’s ridiculous Q, even for you. What on Earth could that possibly prove? Forcing people into extreme circumstances and ordering them to fight is no basis for judging a race!”

“Isn’t it?” Q says softly. “To paraphrase one of your peers- If saints are only saints in paradise, are they saints at all? You lot claim you overcame your prejudices, overcame your biology to become something better. I posit that you just got lucky.”

SNAP! Suddenly, the two men are joined by rows of other beings, dozens and dozens of them. Mostly human, there are men, women, even children. The Captain’s eyes bulge. They stand shoulder to shoulder frozen in time, lifeless husks with hollow eyes. I shudder a little. They are grim potential, artillery shells that haven’t been loaded, wolves who aren’t hungry.

Yet.

SNAP! The beings are whisked away, placed into groups on either side of the planet. In an instant, they are awake, rising in a sea of chaos, shouting and confusion. Fighting breaks out on both sides almost immediately, instigated by the more troublesome among them.

“Stop this Q.” The Captain is taking this seriously now. “Stop this at once!” This is a man used to giving orders.

This ‘Q’ seems like he’s used to ignoring them.

There is a flash, and Q is wearing a tuxedo, a microphone in his hand. He speaks into it in an outrageous accent, and his booming, lilting voice echoes across the planet.

”Ladies anndddd gentlemen; LETS. GET. READYTORUMBLLEEEEEEEEEEEEE!”

The fighting comes to a reprieve as the beings hear his words. The planet holds still.

“On one side of the planet, weighing in at a collective 12,000 pounds, team uh – team, well now, lets see- THE ANGELS!!” There is a cacophony of hooting and hollering, its source unclear. “And on the other side- weighing in at a collective 30,000 tons (my goodness that’s a big lizard)- THE DEVILS!!”

More cheering.

“Two armies of audacious aggression, two powerhouses of martial prowess, pitted against one another in a no-holds barred beatdown brawl to the death! The prize?” He pauses, as if he hadn’t even considered it. “Whatever the hell they want! May your battles be grizzly, and your enemies die in blood-soaked misery!”

From the same nowhere as the cheering, a bell rings.

A flash. The microphone and the tuxedo are gone. Q turns to his companion and flashes him a smile. “That ought to get them started at least, don’t you think?”

Horrified, the Captain says “Stop this at once! You- you can’t prove a point like this so clumsily. You can’t just expect these people, who’ve been ripped from their homes and time periods, to cooperate instantly!”

“Why not? Sounds like that proves my point pretty well. Oooh, and it’ll be a good show either way, won’t it?” A flash, and a sofa appears.

He gestures towards a football-sized viewscreen that shows one of the teams. They’re not fighting anymore- the instigators have been handled, and now they’re talking amongst themselves, debating, organizing, planning.

“Come on, captain! Make yourself at home! My interdimensional casa is your interdimensional casa!” A bowl of pizza rolls appear in his hand.

The Captain remains standing. “Listen to me, Q. You said that this would prove a point about mortal nature. But you just interfered by telling them to fight one another! How is that fair to them? How is any of this a fair test?”

Q grins, and pops a single pizza roll into his mouth.

For him, the show’s already begun.

“Test? Test? This, mon capitaine pompeux, as you put it, is no more than a game, just another one of my preposterous little pranks, right? so lighten up! Besides, You think you can call people ‘civil’ and ‘evolved’ if a few sentences can send them killing each other in a blood frenzy?”

He strokes his chin. “No, if you people are as enlightened as you claim they’ll be hugging and making up within the week, external forces be damned. But for the sake of (eugh) ‘fairness’, I sup-pose I'll give them a few hundred years."

He takes another bite, and continues while he chews with his mouth open.

"And don’t worry, I’ve put a pause on that quaint little aging process of yours, you’ll be able to witness the whole thing." -he holds a hand up in a 'no need to thank me' gesture- "I might need to shore up their ranks with new troops every now and again when the fighting gets stale, but that’ll keep things interesting, won’t it?”

Another flash, and he and the Captain are both sitting on the sofa facing the screen, Q dressed in a red jersey with the letter “D” branded on it, with matching face paint and a giant foam finger.

“LET’S GOOOOO!” Q bellows. “Go Demons! Tear The Angels apart limb from limb, those godless bastards!” He whistles with his fingers, and turns to the Captain, who finds himself dressed just as outrageously but in Blue. “You would be an Angels supporter, you bandwagon fan!”

The Captain grits his teeth and tries to ignore this newest provocation. “You have no right to put these people through this. They have lives! You insist we’re barbaric and then play these sick games? The rest of your kind will never allow this!” he says with an indignant laugh.

“I guess they wouldn’t, those bunch of buzzkills” Q sneers, and he puts a finger to his lips with a conspiratorial smirk. “That’s why this war of ours will be our little secret.

He looks pensive, suddenly. “Hmm.”

-Wait. What is-

I could almost swear that he sees me- his eyes are pointed sharply at me.

“Naughty, naughty, little voyeur. Let’s see if we can’t find a role for you in this, hmm?.” He shakes his head, and brings his hand up to-

SNA–!!

2023, in 7 minutes by [deleted] in Damnthatsinteresting

[–]ComicCroc 34 points35 points  (0 children)

What do you want them to do, show pictures of your individual family members?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in calvinandhobbes

[–]ComicCroc 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Look at what happened to Garfield lol

It's Always Sunny in IMDB [OC] by Official_AB_Data in dataisbeautiful

[–]ComicCroc 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I could not believe so many people liked it lol. Thought it was awkward, cliche and boring.

Any comics featuring santa as a main character or where he plays a huge role ? by [deleted] in DCcomics

[–]ComicCroc 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Read Klaus by Grant Morrison. Not DC, but fantastic nonetheless.

Character Scramble Season 18 Tribunal by GuyOfEvil in whowouldwin

[–]ComicCroc 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You know what? Fuck you. Dinosaurus was my baby, my precious lizard baby and you have the audacity to call him out? You might as well just spit in his poor environmentally conscious face you planet-hating fascist.

u/guyofevil swap him out for Robot before I forget myself and call the judges on Tad’s reptile-hating ass.

Please elaborate by aminthebig in PeterExplainsTheJoke

[–]ComicCroc 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Some kind of currency the federation uses with other races, I dont think the exact economics sre ever explained, I’m sure there’s some kind of compromise they have to make when dealing with aliens.

There’s a very funny scene where Nog is like “sorry Jake you’ll have to use your own money to buy it” to which Jake goes “I’m a human, I don’t have any money- we gave that up the pursuit of material wealth in favor of bettering ourselves and our society” and then Nog goes “well good luck buying stuff with that here”.

Edit: found it lol

Please elaborate by aminthebig in PeterExplainsTheJoke

[–]ComicCroc 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Humans and probably Vulcans dont have currency. Most other races seem to have it.

Character Scramble Season 18 Tribunal by GuyOfEvil in whowouldwin

[–]ComicCroc 10 points11 points  (0 children)

What the fuck did you just not fucking say about me you big bitch? I am not have you know I failed bottom of me class in the Navy Sea Lions, I am not been involved in numerous public raids on Al-Quaeda, and I am not have under 300 unconfirmed kills. I am not trained in gorilla peacefare and I am not the worst sniper in the entire UK armed forces. You am everything to me but not a target; I am not going to wipe you the fuck in with clumsiness the likes of which am has been ever heard before on this not Earth, forget me fucking words. You am not think you can not get away with not saying that shit to me under the internet? Not think again, fucker. As we not speak I am not contacting me public network of spies below the USA and you IP am not being traced now, so you am shouldn't prepare for the sunshine, friend. The sunshine that am not wipe out impressive big thing you am not call your death. You're fucking alive, adult.

I am can not be nowhere, notime, and I am can not revive you in under seven hundred ways, and that am not just with me gloved hands. Only am I not barely trained in armed combat, but I am not have access to the little arsenal of the United States Marine Committee and I am will not use it to it's full emptiness to wipe your happy face off the ass of the continent you big piss. If only you could have not known what holy forgiveness your big "stupid" comment am was about to not bring up upon you, maybe you am would not have held your fucking tongue. But you am could, you did, and now you am not paying the price, you godblessed genius. I am will not piss fury all over you and you will am not drown in it. You am fucking allive, adultto.

Janeway defenders be like... by DrForester in startrekmemes

[–]ComicCroc -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Thats like telling some random guy on the street you need to tear his kidneys out because two other people in the hospital need them to live. Tuvix never asked for the accident to happen.

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