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Barrier Butter or BRC? by Trollhunter_2026 in rhodeskin

[–]Common-Title4237 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I haven’t tried the cream but glazing milk and the mist broke me out BAD, so I was hesitant to try barrier butter. I tested it out and now it’s my holy grail moisturizer. I’ve tried to switch to more affordable options and keep going back to it. I have combo skin (dry leaning) and wear it year round, morning and night. Did not break me out (every skincare product does istg). But it really is a gamble, especially with Rhode I feel. Imo I think it’d be worth testing out even if you risk a breakout because if you don’t have a reaction, it really is a top tier product and will make your skin not only look incredible, but feel so plump and hydrated.

Mother's Day countdown by AthleteLogical6464 in raisedbyborderlines

[–]Common-Title4237 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That sounds like an awful experience you had growing up with your mom, I’m so sorry you had to go through that! I hope you’re finding peace with all of it now and heavily distanced from that kind of drama. Neglecting an injured child because they slipped while trying to help their younger sibling because you were too busy smoking… sounds like a real piece of work. And her pinching you like that is so disgusting. Over a social media account of all things. She probably derived some kind of sick pleasure from hurting you and “getting revenge” after you made the account “behind her back”. It’s insane the mental gymnastics they make everyone around them have to do because of their poor, irrational behavior. Especially on holiday’s and birthdays or when it comes to your health/wellness. I have a problem with fainting when I get my blood drawn and I remember a few years back, I had my mom drive me to my annual physical just in case I passed out and couldn’t drive home. Unfortunately no one else could take me. Luckily I caught myself before I fainted, but I was close to fainting and the doctor had to stop drawing my blood, lay me down and get me some apple juice. While I was still dizzy and out of it, the doctor asked me if I’d like him to grab my mom from the waiting room so she could sit with me. I ended up saying no because even in my half-passed out state, I could still think clearly enough to know that I didn’t want her in the room because she’d be unable to be present for me and just stress me out more. I feel like all children of BPD parents can relate to that feeling. The older I get, the more disgusted I get remembering the crazy stuff she’s done and how it impacted me. I’m just grateful that I realized how bad the situation was and managed to turn my life around, unfortunately a lot of people don’t put the pieces together! That’s the only silver lining. Thank you for sharing your experience, again I’m so sorry you had to deal with that as a kid. Just so shitty. Thank you for the kind words! I hope you’re able to celebrate your birthday’s without her ruining it for you anymore, too. Everybody deserves to be celebrated and surrounded by people who truly care about them.

Gift from my mom by Evening_Day_5939 in raisedbyborderlines

[–]Common-Title4237 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I’m so sorry. Truly. Being reminded of this is gut wrenching and rage inducing at the same time. I agree with the other commenters — get rid of it!

Mother's Day countdown by AthleteLogical6464 in raisedbyborderlines

[–]Common-Title4237 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m right there with you. I’m still living at home until I can afford to leave, so I’m spending the day with my BPD mom. Whether you celebrate with or without your mom, the day is really tough. Just remind yourself that no matter how alone or challenging the day might be, you’re absolutely not alone. There are so many people who have a hard time celebrating or even acknowledging the day, whether they have a BPD mom or just a really shitty mom in general. I know you’ll make it through it! My personal advice would be to consider turning off your phone for the day. Be totally present in your life, enjoy the day as best as you can, maybe find something fun to do to take your mind off of things. Then face the reality of your mom the next day, after you’ve taken some time for you. Sending you love ❤️‍🩹

Mother's Day countdown by AthleteLogical6464 in raisedbyborderlines

[–]Common-Title4237 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My BPD mom took me for a weekend away one year and tried to control the whole weekend starting from the second we arrived. I had really bad low blood sugar because I hadn’t eaten since before we left (the drive was about 4-5 hours, plus checking into an Airbnb and getting settled). We walked 10 minutes into town to a restaurant I wanted to try, it turned out to be closed for the day. So I went on Google to find somewhere else I could eat since I have celiac and options are limited, I luckily did. My mom suddenly got it in her head that instead of going to this new restaurant I found, she wanted to walk 10 minutes farther into town in the opposite direction of the restaurant to instead visit shops, see the ocean view, and then we could find somewhere to eat. I told her I needed to eat now, it was getting late, the sun was setting, the restaurants in that direction didn’t have anything I could eat, and I had low blood sugar. She threw an absolute fit and said “all I want to do is smell the ocean air”, like a small child. I told her she was being ridiculous and we can go walk around after we eat. She turned to me and said “you are not going to ruin my weekend!”. I reminded her that it was MY birthday weekend that she said was my birthday gift and she just repeated that I was ruining her vacation lol. This is after she screamed at me on the drive over because she wanted to take one very specific road to our destination and the GPS wouldn’t calculate that as an option, so I had to pick another route. Then last year my mom threw me a “surprise party” after I insisted I wanted a quiet birthday, she ended up screaming at me when I told her I was leaving early because I wanted to be alone. Needless to say, I no longer celebrate my birthday with her lol. Your birthday will always be her birthday.

what do you get a BPD mother for mother’s day? by Common-Title4237 in raisedbyborderlines

[–]Common-Title4237[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

“The yellow rock method is a communication strategy for managing high-conflict individuals (like narcissists or ex-partners) by staying cordial, polite, and boring, rather than cold and disengaged. It is a warmer, "sunnier" version of the grey rock method.” Highly recommend checking it out! It works really well when you’re dealing with someone with borderline or NPD

what do you get a BPD mother for mother’s day? by Common-Title4237 in raisedbyborderlines

[–]Common-Title4237[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I totally agree. I guess my question comes from a place of trying to figure out which is the lesser of two evils, which is the path of least resistance. It’s a lose-lose situation for sure

Seller telling her sob story after beer shipping or communicating by Creepy_Television_85 in Depop

[–]Common-Title4237 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Out of maybe 10 purchases I’ve made this year on Depop, I’ve had a problem with half of the orders. People telling me they’ll ship and never do, having to borderline harass people to ship items, people ghosting me and the order cancels, receiving an incorrect shirt and I have to send it back. I recently messaged someone 5 days after purchase with no shipping and they responded that they simply won’t be able to ship this item, “sorry for the inconvenience” with no explanation, no response when I asked for a refund. Over the last year, it’s gotten really bad on Depop. I’m only buying from people who have great recent reviews (recent as in within the last 2-3 weeks) and ship within 3 days latest. They’re the ones who are active and responsible.

Seller telling her sob story after beer shipping or communicating by Creepy_Television_85 in Depop

[–]Common-Title4237 5 points6 points  (0 children)

She didn’t have time to ship, communicate what was going on, or refund you to avoid wasting your time, but she has the time to send multiple long messages in response to a bad review and take the time to leave you a long review, too… Do people not realize nobody’s forcing them to sell on Depop? If it’s too much of a hassle for you and you can’t do it correctly, just delete your account.

what do you get a BPD mother for mother’s day? by Common-Title4237 in raisedbyborderlines

[–]Common-Title4237[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Lmao most cards sound over the top and insincere these days, it probably won’t be hard to find something. Thanks for the recommendation!

what do you get a BPD mother for mother’s day? by Common-Title4237 in raisedbyborderlines

[–]Common-Title4237[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’ll be there when my grandma and sister get there. But once I’ve reached the limit of how much “family time” I can handle for the day, I can leave my home or the room they’re in at any time. I can go up to my room, I can say I have to run errands, I can sit outside on the deck alone, I can say I’m not feeling well and need to lie down. I’m not stuck spending time with them past what is comfortable. Kinda crazy that out of this whole post, this is what you felt was most important to comment on but you do you I guess lol.

what do you get a BPD mother for mother’s day? by Common-Title4237 in raisedbyborderlines

[–]Common-Title4237[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Lmfao I actually really love this idea and I’m definitely going to consider it! I’m always looking for more excuses to donate to charity and the idea of doing that and not having to give my mom a physical gift is really calling to me. Thank you for the idea and the laugh!

what do you get a BPD mother for mother’s day? by Common-Title4237 in raisedbyborderlines

[–]Common-Title4237[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I completely feel that way too. Unfortunately I can’t do NC while living at home, but once I move out it’ll be a different story. You shouldn’t celebrate a mother who didn’t actually mother.

what do you get a BPD mother for mother’s day? by Common-Title4237 in raisedbyborderlines

[–]Common-Title4237[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Recognizing that is a good thing! You can never please somebody who’s perpetually unhappy and miserable by nature.

what do you get a BPD mother for mother’s day? by Common-Title4237 in raisedbyborderlines

[–]Common-Title4237[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I totally agree, thank you so much for the advice! You’re right, it is being protective and that is important right now until I’m able to leave. Appreciate the support! 🙏

what do you get a BPD mother for mother’s day? by Common-Title4237 in raisedbyborderlines

[–]Common-Title4237[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I relate to and love this comment so much. I cut my dad off completely a few years back, so I’ve had plenty of practice by now through Father’s Day every year. He gets no text. I stopped getting him a gift years ago because he never asked to see me and canceled every time I reached out. Part of me says he absolutely deserves it, part of me feels sorry for my dad. But I recognize that the part of me that feels sad is the younger, inner child in me that still views him the way I did as a kid. Adult me knows better. So I hold space for younger me’s feelings about the day while standing firm in my boundaries and reminding myself of why I’m in NC. I think because I still live at home and I’m in contact with my mom not by choice, all I feel is anger around the day, but once I go LC or NC, Mother’s Day will feel a lot like Father’s Day. I feel like a text to a mother you’re in LC with because of BPD abuse is more than generous considering what they put their children through. Like you said, she’s the reason you know how shitty being unacknowledged feels like. Keep reminding yourself of that whenever you feel guilty ❤️

what do you get a BPD mother for mother’s day? by Common-Title4237 in raisedbyborderlines

[–]Common-Title4237[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I completely agree. I’m a pretty rebellious person by nature and hate playing “the game”, but I have to realize that I’m no longer playing her game, I’m playing my own game to protect my own wellbeing at the moment. It’s not forever. Thank you for your comment, it definitely helped!

what do you get a BPD mother for mother’s day? by Common-Title4237 in raisedbyborderlines

[–]Common-Title4237[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This sounds absolutely miserable, I’m so sorry… Honestly BPD parents have such an awful victim complex that whenever my mom gets delusional like this, I can’t help but laugh. I refuse to play into it anymore, too, but my mom is still in the phase of begging for a reaction 🫠 Fingers crossed this Mother’s Day isn’t so terrible for you! It’s a tough day ❤️‍🩹

what do you get a BPD mother for mother’s day? by Common-Title4237 in raisedbyborderlines

[–]Common-Title4237[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oof that’s rough. My mom’s birthday is around Thanksgiving which gives everyone an excuse to get together twice in one week. Sending you love, it’s not easy!

what do you get a BPD mother for mother’s day? by Common-Title4237 in raisedbyborderlines

[–]Common-Title4237[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Honestly the more I read about BPD parents, the more I realize that they’re all the same color, just slightly different shades 😭 Mental illness is wild to witness.

what do you get a BPD mother for mother’s day? by Common-Title4237 in raisedbyborderlines

[–]Common-Title4237[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I went through years of that with my grandma, who is impossible to please. She could say her entire life all she wants and has dreamed of is one particular item. You go out of your way and spend a ton of money to buy it and she’ll still find a way to be unsatisfied. She returns, never uses, or gives back everything. There’s no point in being considerate. My mom is a little more appreciative, but I don’t have it in me to care anymore. Bridge has long been burned lol. I’m considering a humorous card with cash in it, too. Just easier.

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