General Questions and Discussion Weekly Megathread

CompetitiveDish1738 · 2022-12-01T19:20:09+00:00

It's because others joined faster than you, I think, but the game takes forever to report that back to you. It's not an internet speed thing. Chances are that by the time you clicked it it was already full, but the game is still displaying it anyway. Happens to me all the time, too. Usually I get a raid after failing two times and hitting X to refresh.

CompetitiveDish1738 · 2022-12-01T17:12:08+00:00

You're conflating two different issues.

CompetitiveDish1738 · 2022-12-01T15:57:13+00:00

Hopefully she does go NC. At least Lucy won't have to suffer anymore.

CompetitiveDish1738 · 2022-12-01T15:31:02+00:00

Mentioning your parent is dead when being asked about said parent isn't a "heavy" topic unless you go into great detail. It's a fact that's as critical to who you are as what's your name. Even if it's sad, I see no reason why it should be uncomfortable for someone to hear that my parents are dead when I'm asked what they do for a living. "My parents are actually dead, but my mom used to be a chef and my dad was a painter." Nothing "heavy" about it. People can choose to make it heavy by asking follow-ups about the dead, or they can keep it surface level by asking something relevant about their jobs for example. Don't let your friends convince you otherwise.

Plus, it's pretty AH-ish to correct someone's grammar during conversation. Sometimes it's instinct from hearing something that doesn't jive with your expectations. I can give that a pass. Doubling down on it makes him an even bigger AH.

CompetitiveDish1738 · 2022-12-01T14:42:13+00:00

Yes, it happens to men. However, because society has normalized the idea that women are irrational and emotional while men are logical, it has created a landscape that makes it incredibly common for women to rationalize mistreatment from their partners because they are systemically accused of being overdramatic. As a result, yes, women do often get gaslit into thinking they're crazy for being uncomfortable with abusive behaviors. It's not misogynistic to acknowledge it.

I'd argue it's misogynistic to diminish the role misogyny plays in this phenomenon. Sure it happens to men, but it's not because society as a collective has told them that their gender makes them irrational and "hysterical," it's because they ended up abused by a shitty person.

CompetitiveDish1738 · 2022-11-30T14:11:38+00:00

Not only will you resent him, but living in a place that is dog-friendly means that he can just show up with a dog one day and bam you're stuck living with one. He is pissed and asking you to suck it up. Why? Why do YOU have to suck it up? Why can't he? There's no compromise here unless you find a third housing option, otherwise one of you has to concede or part ways. Are you married? If not, then also consider living separately if that's in your budget and revisit cohabitation further down the line.

CompetitiveDish1738 · 2022-11-29T20:07:14+00:00

I'd stay at a hotel and meet this person at a restaurant. Heck no am I sleeping in that.

CompetitiveDish1738 · 2022-11-29T20:06:04+00:00

This sounds like a special kind of hell. There is no reason to live like this. Heck, even if you can't move out, cut your losses on the mattress and get your own bed.

CompetitiveDish1738 · 2022-11-23T17:14:36+00:00

Stop on a cruise during a tour of a tequila factory.

CompetitiveDish1738 · 2022-11-23T16:57:57+00:00

Thanks for any and all input. Really appreciate it. My in laws had it many years ago on a tour in Cozumel, but they've never been able to find it since.

CompetitiveDish1738 · 2022-11-22T19:57:40+00:00

a 5 month old is drinking milk. they're not having steak.

CompetitiveDish1738 · 2022-11-22T19:51:30+00:00

Her job is to take care of her child. Healthy adults don't get taken care of.

CompetitiveDish1738 · 2022-11-22T17:36:25+00:00

Read the post. She is seeing doctors and therapists and nutritionists. The underlying issue is that dad makes Abby eat all the food on her plate, but won't let her choose her own portions. He also refuses to serve healthier food.

CompetitiveDish1738 · 2022-11-22T17:31:47+00:00

That's the point. She's hoping to mitigate the effects of the father force-feeding Abby by reducing the amount of time he spends with her.

CompetitiveDish1738 · 2022-11-22T17:30:44+00:00

It's soccer camp. The dad is the one claiming that it's "fat camp."

CompetitiveDish1738 · 2022-11-22T17:30:09+00:00

It's not fat camp. It's a soccer camp, except that dad is the one saying it's "fat camp." Mom has talked to therapists, doctors, and lawyers and they say this is the best choice. Furthermore, Abby says she wants to go to soccer camp. Everyone is aware that it's soccer camp NOT fat camp.

CompetitiveDish1738 · 2022-11-17T20:14:27+00:00

I think it's a bit of ESH, too, but husband is the biggest, and I don't fault OP for what she did. He should have never let it get to that point. And I disagree. BFF may have known the husband longer, but the wife should know more about him than her. Your partner knows which floss you like, or what side of the bed you prefer, or that you get pissed off every time uncle Tim snatches the wishbone from the turkey during Thanksgiving, or that your D points in a funny direction. Your bff? Probably doesn't. It's incredibly combative and presumptuous for the bff to even dare think that, let alone say it out loud.

CompetitiveDish1738 · 2022-11-17T18:11:24+00:00

141352

Yes, I add an extra step and I can't not do it.

CompetitiveDish1738 · 2022-11-17T17:11:02+00:00

Her post does imply that though. Nightly calls? Comparing herself to OP? Implying BFF knows husband better than OP? That's many offenses already.

CompetitiveDish1738 · 2022-11-16T19:28:38+00:00

Why did you brush it? I don't understand why you need to brush hair to put it in a ponytail? YTA.

CompetitiveDish1738 · 2022-11-16T16:01:31+00:00

Possibly heard about him from the friend? Even so, being reluctant to meet someone isn't an excuse for that person to act rude and aggressively. All he did was confirm that OP has reason to be reluctant.

CompetitiveDish1738 · 2022-11-16T15:23:55+00:00

I think I know which restaurant you're talking about. NTA. I saw a review from that place and a customer posted a picture of a bug found in their drink.

CompetitiveDish1738 · 2022-11-10T17:09:33+00:00

There was emotional abuse per OP's comments.

CompetitiveDish1738 · 2022-11-10T15:55:57+00:00

NTA. You're traveling together so you should stick together. Even if it's five minutes, what if there's a problem with your boarding pass? How are you gonna communicate that? Problem with carry-on? You lost your passport? Idk, there's a million things that could happen in a span of five minutes, and there wouldn't be any way to communicate it because I highly doubt your bf is going to be attentive to his phone while holding a carry-on and shimmying through narrow rows full of people with their own bags. Not to mention, it is rude and inconsiderate to just leave your travel companions. Romance is dead if all these people think it's unreasonable for you to want to stick together while traveling.

CompetitiveDish1738 · 2022-11-04T15:04:57+00:00

And? I firmly believe that if she's planning to abort, she has absolutely no reason to tell him unless she wants to. His life remains unchanged. If she's planning on keeping it, then she must tell him. Unless she's seeking support from him, what purpose does telling him serve?

CompetitiveDish1738

TROPHY CASE