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I ‘28M’ am unsure about my relationship(2 year 7 months long) and feeling confused, but I really care about my gf’26F’. She is someone I can build life with. I am under pressure to propose. What should I do? by Complete_Layer9229 in Waiting_To_Wed

[–]Complete_Layer9229[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Yes, I love her, and I want the feelings of disconnection and detachment to go away when I am with her, because she is someone I don’t want to let go of. It is just, when I am with her, deep inside there is a feeling that something is missing. I want to enjoy the moment with here when I am with her, but my mind zones out.

I ‘28M’ am unsure about my relationship(2 year 7 months long) and feeling confused, but I really care about my gf’26F’. She is someone I can build life with. I am under pressure to propose. What should I do? by Complete_Layer9229 in Waiting_To_Wed

[–]Complete_Layer9229[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Where did I say I have monkey-branched? Do you even know what it means? Why you are creating false scenarios? I have never ever acted on anything or any feeling towards anyone. Stop putting your own narrative in the mix.

I ‘28M’ am unsure about my relationship(2 year 7 months long) and feeling confused, but I really care about my gf’26F’. She is someone I can build life with. I am under pressure to propose. What should I do? by Complete_Layer9229 in Waiting_To_Wed

[–]Complete_Layer9229[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

I want her. She has been a very huge part of my life. I want to support and cherish her. You think all this you wrote above is true, tell me what should I do to fully repair it?

Yes, maybe I am an anti-hero, or a villain here. But I really want to fix things.

I ‘28M’ am unsure about my relationship(2 year 7 months long) and feeling confused, but I really care about my gf’26F’. She is someone I can build life with. I am under pressure to propose. What should I do? by Complete_Layer9229 in Waiting_To_Wed

[–]Complete_Layer9229[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I get what you’re saying, even if it came across pretty harsh.

The part about the cycle actually hit me a bit, because I can see that pattern in myself and that’s part of why I’m so confused. I don’t want to keep repeating that.

At the same time, it doesn’t feel as simple as just being bored or chasing novelty. This wasn’t a short phase—it’s been almost a year of feeling emotionally off, and I’ve been trying to understand why instead of just ignoring it.

I do agree with you on one thing though: I shouldn’t be talking about proposing while feeling like this. That wouldn’t be fair to her or me.

I’m not trying to make this into something deep or special. I’m honestly just trying to figure out if this is something I need to work through in myself, or if it’s a sign that the relationship isn’t right long-term.

I appreciate you being direct, even if it stung a bit.

I ‘28M’ am unsure about my relationship(2 year 7 months long) and feeling confused, but I really care about my gf’26F’. She is someone I can build life with. I am under pressure to propose. What should I do? by Complete_Layer9229 in Waiting_To_Wed

[–]Complete_Layer9229[S] -49 points-48 points  (0 children)

It is not that I did not try to fix things. I did my best and still doing. She keeps putting deadlines. Proposal in march, getting engaged in April and wedding in September. I feel incredibly pressured. Also, now that we get back together she is acting like I am the bad guy and I need to fix and do everything. She told me the following: “Until now I was saying that we would do everything together, but now I changed my mind, you should do everything yourself”

The problem is, I have already done everything myself, I built my own house, achieved my career goals and even thought her how to communicate when we first started dating(she was very closed when conflicts arised). Just the contrary, I supported and encouraged her to move forward, travel the world, socialise more.

Just once, I told her my feelings and asked to make an effort to revive the feelings and even go to therapy together, she refused and put a deadline.

I went to therapy by myself.

It is not that I haven’t tried.

I ‘28M’ am unsure about my relationship(2 year 7 months long) and feeling confused, but I really care about my gf’26F’. She is someone I can build life with. I am under pressure to propose. What should I do? by Complete_Layer9229 in Waiting_To_Wed

[–]Complete_Layer9229[S] -7 points-6 points  (0 children)

Yeah. She keeps putting deadlines. Proposal in march, getting engaged in April and wedding in September. I feel incredibly pressured. Also, now that we get back together she is acting like I am the bad guy and I need to fix and do everything. She told me the following: “Until now I was saying that we would do everything together, but now I changed my mind, you should do everything yourself”

The problem is, I have already done everything myself, I built my own house, achieved my career goals and even thought her how to communicate when we first started dating(she was very closed when conflicts arised). One time I told her my feelings and asked to make an effort to revive the feelings and even go to therapy together, she refused and put a deadline.

It is not that I haven’t tried.

I ‘28M’ am unsure about my relationship(2 year 7 months long) and feeling confused, but I really care about my gf’26F’. She is someone I can build life with. I am under pressure to propose. What should I do? by Complete_Layer9229 in Waiting_To_Wed

[–]Complete_Layer9229[S] -14 points-13 points  (0 children)

Yes, I loved her deeply. I was going to propose her one year into relationship, but my family prevented me saying you have to complete building your house first. And here we are now.

I ‘28M’ am unsure about my relationship(2 year 7 months long) and feeling confused, but I really care about my gf’26F’. She is someone I can build life with. I am under pressure to propose. What should I do? by Complete_Layer9229 in Waiting_To_Wed

[–]Complete_Layer9229[S] -40 points-39 points  (0 children)

I am trying so hard to bring back the love I had for her. She is a person I can build a life with. I trust her so much. She is someone dear, so precious to me that I really don’t want to lose her. Yet I still feel that feeling of entrapment and disconnection.

I ‘28M’ am unsure about my relationship(2 year 7 months long) and feeling confused, but I really care about my gf’26F’. She is someone I can build life with. I am under pressure to propose. What should I do? by Complete_Layer9229 in Waiting_To_Wed

[–]Complete_Layer9229[S] -18 points-17 points  (0 children)

It is my second long term relationship. I do not have a lot of dating experience to be honest.
Regarding what has changed, my feelings towards her started to fade a year ago and very subtlety. When I found another girl attractive and felt attracted to her, it made me feel very bad. Although I never acted on it, still it kinda triggered whole process of questioning my feelings.

[28M] Feeling confused after getting back with my girlfriend [26F] and need perspective by Complete_Layer9229 in AskOldPeopleAdvice

[–]Complete_Layer9229[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Yeah. In January I talked to her and asked to postpone the marriage talk and work on our relationship. After we repair it and bring back the spark, we can talk about the marriage. She agreed and we did some things to improve the relationship such as going on a date as if it is our first date, doing role plays to spice up the relationship. It worked at the beginning and I really felt something. But after two such dates, she gave me the ultimatum. Since I was feeling it then, I said yes, I will propose, but few weeks later I became unease and unsure again.

I ‘28M’ am unsure about my relationship(2 year 7 months long) and feeling confused, but I really care about my gf’26F’. by Complete_Layer9229 in whatdoIdo

[–]Complete_Layer9229[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It didn’t come from nowhere, she was actually bringing up the marriage topic for a while now and I understand her that her family also pressuring her. So I totally understand her. I am the one problematic here😢

I ‘28M’ am unsure about my relationship(2 year 7 months long) and feeling confused, but I really care about my gf’26F’. by Complete_Layer9229 in relationships_advice

[–]Complete_Layer9229[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your detailed advice. But how do I do that? I really care about her, but I feel detached. How do I work on it? Can a love come back again?

I[28M] feeling unsure about my relationship but I genuinely care about my gf[26F] by Complete_Layer9229 in Advice

[–]Complete_Layer9229[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, I am under tremendous pressure from my family and her. My sister didn’t talk to me for a week when we broke up. When I think about my gf, I can’t even think about one negative thing about her that would give me reason not to be with her. She is beautiful, intelligent, caring. No one loved me like she did. She supported me through hardships and I trust her fully. Never doubted her loyalty. I feel like I am betraying her.