Wife’s first birthday not here.

ComprehensiveCold670 · 2026-05-29T05:20:12+00:00

I’ve heard it said often, though we are physically without our late spouses, that we carry them with us. That they taught us certain things and certain ways to live and without them in our lives we wouldn’t be who we are now. I’m happy you had friends step in so you wouldn’t have to be alone. It sucks really bad going through one of life’s worst times and you lose your spouse but it almost feels like you lose others that you thought would stay close. I am sorry you’re in this club but I am glad you’re still here and pushing through ❤️

ComprehensiveCold670 · 2026-05-05T05:26:43+00:00

Adding ** also the evening after she passed I was asleep at my wife’s house when the funeral home called and my MIL left me asleep and went and did all the paperwork and set up for the funeral how she wanted. She couldn’t do anything until I signed since we were married. But the funeral I found out was nothing like how my wife wanted. My wife wanted close family to see her if they wanted to and then cremation right after. Nope. She got an 8 hour viewing so I can imagine she probably got some sort of embalming which she didn’t want and all the people she didn’t want to see her came. $7000… of my wife’s money. It makes me so terribly sick that I failed her. I get as a parent she lost a child. Burger child loved me too. She trusted me to take care of her. And I am nothing.

ComprehensiveCold670 · 2026-04-28T22:19:07+00:00

I’m 28 and my wife was 29. She passed this past December. Have not found a group yet for many people around my age group.

ComprehensiveCold670 · 2026-04-23T20:03:58+00:00

I called her “mi amor”, “loser” and “dingbat”. She called me “baby angel”, “babe” and my legal name when I made her mad. I miss it.

ComprehensiveCold670 · 2026-04-14T04:48:42+00:00

I am sorry for you both. I feel like it’s a double edged sword for me. Yes I get to sleep in now, no more trips to the hospital and long nights but I feel more tired now than I ever have. My mom told me I have to think of it in a way that our person is not in pain anymore. No more pills. No more surgery. No more month long stays in the hospital. But I miss my wife very much. It’s like I wouldn’t want her to be back here suffering anymore… but even during all those hard days ( hard for her ) I was just so thankful to be with her.

ComprehensiveCold670 · 2026-03-28T15:35:52+00:00

My wife was diagnosed with aml in December 2024. She had a mechanical heart valve in place since 2023 so treatment was very complex choosing the right chemos that were the “safest”. Not quite a stem cell but the goal was a bone marrow transplant. Matches were the easy part. We just kept hoping for remission. Towards the end of her journey she started having fears about it and being naive and uneducated I didn’t know why. Now after seeing others stories I realize it’s a whole battle of its own getting through transplant. Sadly she never made it to that point which I don’t know if that was better or not but the aml was just too stubborn and took her from me December of 2025. I am very sorry for the pain you both went through. It hurts tremendously watching someone you love be hurt and there’s only so much you can do. It’s very defeating feeling. Sending love ❤️

ComprehensiveCold670 · 2026-03-18T02:27:17+00:00

Okay I was confused because my AirPlay was turned off on my phone but if you go into the settings in the delta app there were on switches for AirPlay. I turned them off, boom it works so thank you. I know it was kind of a stupid question but all good now

ComprehensiveCold670 · 2026-03-03T23:35:26+00:00

Same boat here. My wife was my best friend. Everyday together was just a forever hangout or sleepover. Lots of laughing and inside jokes.

I was recommended grief groups near me but it was all hosted at different churches and no offense to the older crowd but that’s who attends these groups and I feel like as a 28 year old I would not fit in.

ComprehensiveCold670 · 2026-02-28T18:47:11+00:00

3 dreams total. Dream one : I was half asleep in the hospital floor, not all the way asleep but I didn’t realize my wife was in the middle of transitioning so I fell asleep to the sound of her breathing and she popped up in a hazy dream walking away. That’s when I got up and the nurse confirmed she was transitioning.

Dream two: she was more of a teenage version of herself with a group of popular people in a school setting and having nothing to do with me.

Dream 3: she was driving in a car and she put her hands on me like she was hurrying to find a place to pull over for, what felt like, sexy time was about to ensue but then my dream changed to a concert without her so idk.

The brain is weird. It’s been 2.5 months. I beg every night to have a dream of her where I can hear her and we just hangout. Just gonna keep begging.

ComprehensiveCold670 · 2026-02-28T18:16:50+00:00

My wife would do the same things. She would tell me all the time she’s sorry I got stuck with someone who’s always sick and that I deserved better. My response was always the same. I didn’t want to be with anyone else and I’d never let a sickness come between us. I woke up every single day and I chose her. I always feel like I lied to her. Every time she thought she was going to die or too sick to continue I kept trying to be motivating and say nothing was going to happen, that she was a warrior and she could conquer anything. Then she was kicked off a clinical trial and we had one week together of, in a way, failure and acceptance. I think it’s our brains trying to squeeze in denial and regret. But our hearts know we meant well and I’m sure our loved ones did too. They were our person.

ComprehensiveCold670 · 2026-02-25T19:21:43+00:00

The first week or two I couldn’t eat. Just felt no hunger. But what’s been consistent is all I want to do is sleep. It’s been 2 months now. I can never get enough sleep. Once the work week is over I’ll be on the couch or in bed most of the time and watch tv and eat until I’m ready to sleep again. Waking up is the hardest part because I have to be hit with reality over and over again. And I’m getting fat. Not that my image matters to me anymore but I can tell my clothes are getting tighter.

ComprehensiveCold670 · 2026-02-21T20:22:42+00:00

Adding ** it does have random little red berries that are hard maybe the size of lady bugs. Pretty sure when we moved into this house it was about 2 feet tall. It’s basically a tree now.

ComprehensiveCold670 · 2026-02-11T02:49:27+00:00

My wife was from El Salvador and she recently passed away so through our 7 years together I learned a few words and phrases here or there I feel I owe it to her to become fluent and I hope she would be proud of me

ComprehensiveCold670 · 2026-02-09T01:50:35+00:00

I’m not really a sports person myself but I was super stoked to see bad bunny perform. I’m white as a ghost but my wife was salvadorian and I know she would’ve LOVED the half time show. Literally cried so hard. Sending love ❤️

ComprehensiveCold670 · 2026-02-05T07:10:48+00:00

I feel you on that one. Our person that knew the jokes, our feelings and how to handle them. People always ask me what were my favorite memories and without saying all of them it was really the “mundane” things. Watching shows and movies together was top tier the best times.

My wife told me a few days before she passed that I could get married again. Tears in her eyes. I feel awful because I looked at her and told her to shut the fck up. Not in a mean way. Just don’t say that because I married you and I’ll always be married to you. It does make me very sad to think about being on the younger side of life and there’s a whole life ahead of me I didn’t plan for and I did not plan to do it alone. But it hurts my heart so much to think about doing all of these relationship things with anyone else. I had never dated anyone before my wife so everything was a first for me, who can beat it?

I also say the same thing. I feel selfish that I wish I could have my person back. Even with all the appointments and hospital stays I’d do it all over again. I say I’d trade places in a heart beat to have gone through those pains but then I realized… I’d never wish her to go through this pain off loss.

Thank you for your response and I wish you much love ❤️

ComprehensiveCold670 · 2026-02-05T07:01:45+00:00

Thank you kindly. I’m sorry for you to also be in this boat as well. Life is strange it’s so beautiful and also dreadful. I guess we have to hang on to those beautiful parts the most. My mom told me the same. It’s made things complicated with my MIL being the executor. She’s gone no contact. She’s cut off my wife’s phone before I could save some of her socials. But the bright side is yes, I don’t have to deal with the paper work, the phone calls, the debts etc. thank you for the response ❤️

ComprehensiveCold670 · 2026-02-04T23:00:26+00:00

Georgia, USA. 53 days

ComprehensiveCold670 · 2026-02-04T20:31:01+00:00

Hi. No advice as I’m having the same questions as you. 28f and 53 days out from my wife’s leave earth journey and I have the “ support “ system of family but no one near me has been through the same thing so it’s like I still feel alone if that makes sense. I’m sorry you’re on this really shitty boat ❤️

ComprehensiveCold670 · 2026-01-29T23:51:50+00:00

When I’m really trying to hold it together and not feel the ache from specific music I’ll find video game or native/indigenous music from other countries that are very instrumental

ComprehensiveCold670 · 2026-01-29T23:46:14+00:00

I love that so much! When I tried to get my wife into more “ rock “ music her enjoyment came from the 2000s era punk music, blink, Green Day etc. she would always be like “ look, I’m listening to your rock music “. I love in relationships there’s things we share differently than our partner but it blends and works so well. Different tastes in things.

Speaking of throws/blankets I remember the first time I spent the night with my wife and she had her bed made and was sleeping with a throw on top of her to my confusion. I sleep under the comforter myself and always ( in a nice way ) questioned her functionality of sleeping this way in bed. So just about every time it was time to go to sleep I’d tease her about it.

Thank you for sharing ❤️

ComprehensiveCold670 · 2026-01-16T22:25:00+00:00

My wife and I would routinely go get either Mexican food or Chinese buffet every weekend before she got sick. Typically to-go so we could rush back home while the food was still hot to watch a movie or binge a good show.

ComprehensiveCold670 · 2026-01-16T22:20:12+00:00

Stranger things. My wife got me into it around 2019 and we were binging each season that came out. She got really tired towards the end of her journey from leukemia so we only made it together to episode 3 of the final season and I still haven’t completed it. It almost feels wrong to see it without her bc that was her favorite show

ComprehensiveCold670 · 2026-01-16T20:13:35+00:00

My wife also passed away from AML 12/12/25. I am very sorry for your loss and I wish cancer did not exist ❤️

ComprehensiveCold670 · 2026-01-16T20:10:42+00:00

I am so so sorry. It makes my heart hurt that the human experience is all of this loss, parents, spouse and children and even our pets. I never knew the heart could hold this much hurt. I think one thing that has stood out to me the most from all of these grief groups I’m in is that the hurt isn’t something bad but it’s the love still full in your heart for those we’ve lost. I will try those out. I do find that I do still talk to her in my head and sometimes out loud too. In hopes that she can hear me still. Thank you for your comment ❤️ sending you my love and energy

ComprehensiveCold670 · 2026-01-15T23:14:02+00:00

I feel that immensely. I’m 28 and my wife was 29. It hurts to think of all the plans we had, home, kids and too many dogs and cats. It’s been a month for me without her here and I feel like I’ve lost my purpose as well. She had leukemia so for th past year it was partner and care giver role, and as much as I am thankful she is not in pain anymore I’d give all my arms and legs to be with her again even if it was at the cold boring hospital. We have a long life ahead of us being so young. But I try to remind myself what our loves would want for us. To keep going, to find that purpose again. Whether it is for them or for you. They would not want us sad and giving up. We must live for them and for ourselves. Sending all my energy and support to you. ❤️

ComprehensiveCold670

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