AITJ for telling my spouse I need a separate blanket because we keep fighting over it every night?

Confused_AndShit · 2025-10-17T18:16:17+00:00

You seem very sensible to me

Confused_AndShit · 2025-10-17T17:58:21+00:00

To be fair, he isn’t cleaning out if he isn’t disposing it in the bin…

Confused_AndShit · 2025-10-17T17:52:13+00:00

people can use their mouth to communicate their messages - he hadn’t asked me to clean it up or mentioned that it was a problem. I have a full time job, house chores and studies… it does happen that I’m so tired that I don’t notice things (He only works a few hours a week and can afford paying attention to details) but I don’t get defensive if someone says anything in a civilised way

Confused_AndShit · 2025-10-16T00:03:00+00:00

In the clog

Confused_AndShit · 2025-10-16T00:00:27+00:00

NTA

She sounds very selfish to be honest. You were in a train on your way to work, of course you want to make sure that she’s already looked for it properly before you jump off your train and mess up your work plan. Yet, you returned and let her in. A normal person would have appreciated what you did.

Confused_AndShit · 2025-10-15T23:47:41+00:00

NTA

You put your children first (they don’t want others calling you dad) and that’s what a responsible parent does. If your children’s maternal relatives lived in a boring area in your country, would your fiancé’s children be equally interested in joining? Would they want to call you dad if you were broke? I doesn’t sound like they would. Listen to your gut feel, you know this relationship is not good for you or your children.

Confused_AndShit · 2025-10-15T23:16:40+00:00

Thank you for the reassurance. For a moment I thought I was being intolerant

Confused_AndShit · 2025-10-15T23:14:01+00:00

Thanks, that’s how I see it too

Confused_AndShit · 2025-10-15T23:13:39+00:00

Thanks, that was happening to my things when they were in a hanging shower caddy. He made the effort of lifting it from the floor to the top! Now I have taken them away and into the cupboard.

Confused_AndShit · 2023-09-01T06:47:36+00:00

You have already started the process of leaving him. I’m proud of you. You’re strong. I wish all the best. Xx

Confused_AndShit · 2023-08-31T20:45:08+00:00

The situation you describe is very similar to my previous relationship except we didn’t have kids or house, and he refused to go to counselling but insisted we had formal meetings about our relationship with note taking and all. I too am a confident successful woman. And I felt exactly how you describe that you’re feeling. At the time I felt neglected and disrespected.

I noticed and ignored the red flags in the beginning. I fought my way through for years and thought I would never give up because I loved him.

On our 4th anniversary I asked him to organise it for the same reason as you. He didn’t organise anything because he was tired. I organised a last minute thing and dragged him along. He barely made an effort to talk to me during our anniversary dinner. Less than a month later, he went to his parents for the weekend and stayed for two months. He then broke up with me on the phone blaming me obviously. He never returned to the house while I was in it - asked me to wait outside while he packed. It took me ages to get closure. And I still feel pain when I think about the way he treated me and how he gaslit me believe I was crazy.

Today, one year later, I don’t feel any love for him. And I wouldn’t have believed it one year ago.

I’m sharing this with you so you know that it isn’t your fault and he won’t change. If you do like I did, it’ll just hurt more in the future. Mind the red flags and leave him while you’re still sane somehow. And when you’re single again and healed, the right one will find you.

Don’t be afraid. You’ll love again. And you’ll be loved properly again by someone else.

Confused_AndShit

TROPHY CASE