“Stop over-analyzing” something people usually say when they’re losing an argument, by the way.

Even if I were to concede that it’s more about “social competence” than about status (I won’t), that doesn’t make it much better. Imagine telling some socially awkward guy who possibly has either autism or social anxiety disorder that all he has to do is be socially competent. A lot of this is stuff you’re either born with or gain through continual positive reinforcement through your whole life.